Emphasizing effort over outcome
This presentation is the property of its rightful owner.
Sponsored Links
1 / 17

Emphasizing Effort over outcome PowerPoint PPT Presentation


  • 45 Views
  • Uploaded on
  • Presentation posted in: General

Emphasizing Effort over outcome. Facilitated by Alex Lindsey and Michelle Stout. This evening’s agenda. How can we parents help our perfectionistic students embrace, develop, and emphasize: growth effort failure change flexibility. What does perfectionism look like?.

Download Presentation

Emphasizing Effort over outcome

An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation

Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author.While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - E N D - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Presentation Transcript


Emphasizing effort over outcome

Emphasizing Effort over outcome

Facilitated by Alex Lindsey and Michelle Stout


This evening s agenda

This evening’s agenda

How can we parents help our perfectionistic students embrace, develop, and emphasize:

  • growth

  • effort

  • failure

  • change

  • flexibility


What does perfectionism look like

What does perfectionism look like?

  • Tendency to become highly anxious, angry or upset about making mistakes

  • Chronic procrastination and difficulty completing tasks

  • Easily frustrated and gives up easily

  • Chronic fear of embarrassment or humiliation

  • Overly cautious and thorough in tasks (ex: spending 3 hours on homework that should take 20 minutes)

  • Tries to improve things by rewriting

  • Frequent catastrophic reactions or meltdowns when things don’t go as expected

  • Refusal to try new things and risk making mistakes


Let s take a quick quiz

Let’s take a quick quiz….

  • Take 2-3 minutes to complete the quiz on how you believe YOUR CHILD would answer the questions.


Now you

Now you!

  • Take 2-3 minutes to complete the quiz: To what extent do YOU agree or disagree with these statement?


Emphasizing effort over outcome

“I wonder what I can do today to undermine my children, turn off their learning and limit their achievement?”


Messages we send to our children

Messages we send to our children

What we say to our children….

What our children hear……

“You learned that so quickly! You’re so smart!”

“If I don’t learn something quickly, I’m not smart.”

“Look at the drawing. Martha, is he the next Picasso or what?”

“I shouldn’t try drawing anything hard or they’ll see I’m no Picasso.”

“You’re so brilliant, you got an A without even studying!”


Let s start with a story

Let’s start with a story

  • Nine-year-old Elizabeth was on her way to her first gymnastics meet. Lanky, flexible and energetic, she was just right for gymnastics, and she loved it. Of course, she was a little nervous about competing, but she was good at gymnastics and felt confident of doing well. She had even thought about the perfect place in her room to hang the ribbon she was sure to win.

  • In the first event, the floor exercises, Elizabeth went first. Although she did a nice job, the scoring changed after the first few girls and she lost. Elizabeth also did well in the other events, but not well enough to win. By the end of the evening, she had received no ribbons and was devastated.


What would you do if you were elizabeth s parents

What would you do if you were Elizabeth's parents?

  • Tell Elizabeth you thought she was the best.

  • Tell her she was robbed of a ribbon that was rightfully hers.

  • Reassure her that gymnastics is not that important.

  • Tell her she has the ability and will surely win next time.

  • Tell her she didn’t deserve to win.


Where are we heading with this

Where are we heading with this?

Carol Dweck: Discovering the Importance of Mindset

Carol Dweck: The Effect of Praise on Mindset

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jDVd-nCEYc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTXrV0_3UjY


Scoring our quiz

Scoring our Quiz

Key

Scoring

Ability mindset – fixed

Ability mindset – growth

Ability mindset – growth

Personality/character mindset – fixed

Personality/character mindset – growth

Ability mindset – growth

Ability mindset – fixed

Ability mindset – fixed

Ability mindset – growth

Personality/character mindset – growth

Ability mindset – fixed

Personality/character mindset – fixed

Ability mindset – growth

Ability mindset – fixed

Ability mindset – growth

Ability mindset – fixed

Personality/character mindset – fixed

Personality/character mindset – growth

Ability mindset – growth

Ability mindset - fixed

Growth Questions

1. Strongly Agree – 3 pts

Agree – 2 pts

Disagree – 1 pt

Strongly Disagree – 0pt

Fixed Questions

Strongly Agree – 0 pt

Agree – 1 pt

Disagree – 2 pts

Strongly Disagree – 3 pts

Are you surprised?


A perfectionist has developed a fixed mindset outcome over effort

A Perfectionist has developed a fixed mindset: Outcome over Effort


What if i m a perfectionist too

What if I’m a Perfectionist, too?

  • How can parents shift their emphasis and praise to support growth and effort over outcome with their children?

  • Let’s revisit Elizabeth’ story…

    • Tell Elizabeth you thought she was the best.

    • Tell her she was robbed of a ribbon that was rightfully hers.

    • Reassure her that gymnastics is not that important.

    • Tell her she has the ability and will surely win next time.

    • Tell her she didn’t deserve to win.


Model self talk

Model Self Talk

Some examples of positive statements:

  • “Nobody’s perfect!”

  • “All I can do is my best”

  • “Believing in myself -- even when I’m making mistakes -- will help me do better!”

  • “I can’t do it…………….yet.”

    Now you try….


Emphasize effort and growth

Emphasize Effort and growth

  • What’s a typical scenario in your home?

  • Let’s practice creating growth/effort oriented statements and praise?


Perfection perspective

Perfection Perspective

http://www.ted.com/talks/brian_goldman_doctors_make_mistakes_can_we_talk_about_that.html


Thank you

Thank you

Contact Information:

Michelle Stout

970-613-5057

[email protected]

Alex Lindsey

970-613-6249

[email protected]


  • Login