Good morning! Please:

1. Good morning! Please: • grab a grammar book • turn to page 123 • open your notes, take out a pen • be ready to follow along when the music stops

2. 16) Tighten wordy sentences • 16a) Eliminate redundancies • Sometimes things that sound fancy don’t add anything • 16b) Avoid unnecessary repetition of words. • 16c) Cut empty or inflated phrases • Don’t apologize or hedge. Readers understand that without being told that they are hearing the writer’s opinion. • 16d) Simplify the structure • 16e) Reduce clauses to phrases, phrases to single words.

3. Today’s Schedule: • Grammar • Go through annotated handouts • Thesis statements • Evidence

4. Annotated Handouts • In your discussion please identify 1 personal strength of your own your foresee in yourself throughout this writing process and 1 aspect of this process you feel you could improve on. • Sticking points?

5. Writing a good thesis statement:Before you begin • Understand your topic • Understand your audience • Typically, the audience is academic so use your “academic voice” (no “I”s, “me”s, “my”s, slang phrases or humor) • State your opinion clearly, don’t be wishy washy, but do consider many perspectives.

6. Writing a good thesis statement:So what is it, exactly? • A thesis statement presents your opinions or thoughts on a subject or an issue. You cannot write an essay without one. • A thesis statement must contain a subject + an opinion. • A thesis statement answers the topic question (the prompt provided) • NOTE: A thesis statement should never contain the following: in my opinion, I think, I believe, etc.

7. Some examples: • A good thesis statement is short and simple: it should be no longer than one sentence, regardless of essay length. • Bad Example: In a world full of success gurus and books about success, it becomes ever so more important to delineate the one trait that ultimately determines success: doing the right things consistently. • Good Example: Success is a result of doing the right things consistently.

8. Some examples: • A good thesis statement is limited to one main idea. • Bad example: The key to successful dieting is focusing on a specific goal, which is also the key to successfully running a business and coaching a football team. • Good example: The key to successful dieting is focusing on a specific goal.

9. Some examples: • A good thesis statement is a declarative sentence with no qualifiers(might, maybe, perhaps, etc.): • Bad example: Does Derrick Rose‘s ability to score, pass, and rebound make him the league's most valuable player? • Bad Example: Derrick Rose’s ability to score, pass, and rebound just might make him the league's most valuable player. • Good example: Derrick Rose’s ability to score, pass, and rebound makes him the league's most valuable player.

10. Thesis Writing Practice • Observe the sample prompts below. In 6 minutes, try to write a simple, clear, declarative thesis in response to each one. Small/large group discussion will follow. • Examine the role of women in R&J. • Which scene in R&J is the most dramatic and why? • The Prince claims: “Some shall be pardoned and some punished.” Choose a character to pardon or punish and explain your choice. • How are R&J and Oedipus Rex similar/different (compare/contrast).

11. Examine the role of women in R&J. • Men and women have different roles. • Sometimes, women are depicted one way and sometimes another. • I think that women are depicted as cautious and careful decision-makers. • What did you come up with?

12. Which scene in R&J is the most dramatic and why? • I loved every scene equally. • Act III, scene 1 was the most violent scene. • The tension Shakespeare builds is at its peak in the final scene although the party scene was quite beautiful as well. • What did you come up with?

13. The Prince claims: “Some shall be pardoned and some punished.” Choose a character to pardon or punish and explain your choice. • I believe that the Friar should be pardoned because his intentions were pure. • Throughout the play, many characters do good things and bad things, some with good results and some with bad results, however, one character who deserves to be punished is Benvolio for being so hot-headed and generally running his mouth off to everybody.

14. How are R&J and Oedipus Rex similar? • They are both kind of tragedies, sort of. • Both of these stories have someone who dies, can you believe it?! • While both tales follow the tragic format, one was written long before the other. • What did you come up with?

15. Give it a shot! • If you haven’t done so already, try writing your thesis (or whatever idea you are working with) two or three different ways. • Remember our grammar lesson on variety of sentence structure. • Take 8-10 minutes

16. Reflecting • Have you answered the question or merely restated it? • Bad example: This essay examines whether or not Romeo's prior feelings for Rosaline diminishes his love for Juliet. • Good example: Romeo's prior feelings for Rosaline diminish the credibility of his love for Juliet. • Have you taken a position, one way or another? • Is your thesis free of unnecessary or biased words or language?

17. Using our Thesis… • Now that we have some solid thesis statement ideas to work with, use the rest of the period to better select your evidence. Choose the pieces that speak directly to your thesis.

18. For next time: • Please choose the strongest version of your thesis statements to share with me for homework. Also, see if you can pare down all your evidence to the 5 or 6 most important pieces.