Supporting the Journey: 2012 After School Conference

1. Supporting the Journey:2012 After School Conference Supporting Healthy Relationships Through Conflict Resolution and Lifeskill Development Laurie Frank, GOAL Consulting

2. Agenda • INTRODUCTION • PREVENTION • INTERVENTION • INVENTION • CLOSING

3. Think about young people with whom you work. What skills, qualities, and attributes do you want them to have 20 years from now?

4. VISION •LOYAL • RESILIENT •CARING • PATIENT •HAPPY • AT PEACE •INTEGRITY • RESOURCEFUL •SUCCESSFUL • CONTRIBUTOR • FORGIVING •GOOD PARENTS •POSITIVE ATTITUDE •WELL-INFORMED •GET ALONG W/ OTHERS •GOOD SELF ESTEEM •CRITICAL THINKER •COMPASSIONATE •PRODUCTIVE CITIZENS • •HONEST  • CREATIVE • •EMPATHETIC    • RESPECT • •RESPONSIBLE    • MOTIVATED • •SELF RESPECT    • RELIABLE • •LITERATE• EMPLOYED • •CONFIDENT    • HEALTHY • •SELF SUFFICIENT • •SENSE OF HUMOR • •INDEPENDENT • •PERSEVERENCE • •RESOURCEFUL • •PROBLEM SOLVERS • •GOOD COMMUNICATOR

5. The Container Concept

6. Not all Containers are Alike

8. We Have Choices…We have Influence… What are the qualities of the container in your program?

9. Between Teacher and Child I have come to a frightening conclusion. I am the decisive element in the classroom. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher I possess tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or de-humanized. HaimGinott, 1922-1973 Clinical psychologist, Child therapist, Parent educator, and author

10. PII: Prevention, Intervention, Invention

11. PII • Prevention is anything we do to prevent conflict in our programs or to prepare for it before it happens. • Intervention is responding when conflicts do happen. • Inventionis creating something new and constructive out of the situation.

12. PBIS Continuum and PII Approach* * Positive Behavior Interventions & Supports and Prevention, Intervention , Invention INVENTION INTERVENTION PREVENTION

13. PREVENTIONStaff Conversation & Reflection • Doing some constructive thinking about where conflicts are likely to occur and what can be done to prevent them; • Setting up ways to handle conflicts when they do occur; • Consistency – speaking with one voice

14. PREVENTIONCreating a Safe Container • Establishing procedures, routines, and norms for common activities; • Creating a feeling of community and caring; • Building relationships and a sense of trust; The Morning Meeting Book, Journey Toward the Caring Classroom, TRIBES

15. From Lake View Elementary School, Madison, WI

16. PREVENTIONSkill Building • Teaching skills for: - Life Skills- Cooperation- Communication- Expressing Feelings- Appreciating Diversity- Conflict Resolution

17. Supports Social Emotional Learning (SEL) See www.CASEL.org

18. Asking for Help Attentive Listening Caring Choice and Accountability Citizenship Cleanliness Common Sense Communication Conflict Resolution Conservation Cooperation Courage Curiosity Diversity Effort Empathy Endurance Flexibility Forgiveness Friendship Goal Setting Health Honesty Imagination Inclusion Integrity Initiative Justice Kindness Leadership Loyalty Making Mistakes Mixing Organization An Incomplete list of Lifeskills… • Patience • Peacefulness • Perseverance • Perspective Taking • Pride • Problem Solving • Purpose • Relationships • Resourcefulness • Respect • Responsibility • Risk Taking • Safety • Self-Discipline • Sense of Humor • Trust/Trustworthiness • Wisdom

20. INTERVENTIONDealing with the conflict in ways that: • Solve problems; • Help students to be more independent in their conflict resolution; • Help students learn from their experiences; • Improve relationships among students as well as between students and staff. SEE: Adventures in Peacemaking by Kreidler & Furlong

21. Responding Thinking before we act Reacting Acting without thinking

22. PROACTIVE INTERVENTION • Staying Calm: Resist emotional flooding (using the prefrontal cortex) • Defusing Anger • De-escalating Conflict • Resolving ConflictRather than short-circuiting it

23. A Problem Solving Process • A = Ask what is the problem? • B = Brainstorm possible solutions • C = Choose one • D = Do it • E = Evaluate Adapted from the Mediation Center, Asheville, NC

24. INVENTIONUsing conflict productively to: • Help students learn; • Mobilize support and structure for individual students • Identify problems, weaknesses and areas of concern in the classroom; • Identify skills individual students need to develop in conflict resolution.

25. Key Invention questions Is the conflict: • A sign that something is wrong with the program; • A sign students need more skills; • A sign that the program is not well-planned; • A sign that we need to look outside of the program to address the conflict?

26. Key Invention questions • Are there new procedures we need to establish in the program? • Do we need to revise our procedures or schedules? • Is our program meeting students’ needs? • Are we planning in a way that prevents conflict?

27. “People and environments are never neutral, they are either summoning or shunning the development of human potential.” Purkey & Novak, Inviting School Success

28. Laurie Frank GOAL Consulting 1337 Jenifer Street Madison, Wisconsin 53703 USA +1-608-251-2234 LSFrank@mac.com www.goalconsulting.org You are here