Creating a Culture of Nurturing. Stephen J. Bavolek, Ph.D. Author of the Nurturing Parenting Programs June 2012 Yreka, California. Nurturing Culture. Compassion , Communication , Cooperation, Confidence in Parents and Children. Understanding your Philosophy.
Creating a Culture of Nurturing
Stephen J. Bavolek, Ph.D.
Author of the Nurturing Parenting Programs
in Parents and Children
Nurturing embraces the philosophy of
raising/teaching children in non-violent, caring environments
Nurturing embraces the science of promoting proven beliefs, strategies and techniques in developing a positive and healthy quality of life:
* The impact of long term nurturing practices on brain development and functioning.
* The science of positive touch, positive communication, dignified discipline, expectations and empowerment on the overall mental and physical of children’s development
Nurturing embraces the clinicalunderstanding of human behavior including:
Nurturing is the single most critical process for creating and sustaining life.
Positive nurturing is called EMPATHYwhich
Comes from the Greek word
Negative nurturing is called
abuse and neglect.
The word abuse comes from the Latin word
which means to mistreat; cruel and harsh punishment.
Neglect comes from the Latin word
negmeans “not” and
Positive Nurturing (Empathy)
Frequency Always Frequent Sometimes Infrequent Never
Intensity Very High High Average Low Not Present
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0
Negative Nurturing (Abuse and Neglect)
Frequency Never Infrequent Sometimes Frequent Always
Intensity Not Present Low Average High Very High
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
The following chart displays how personalities and behavior patterns are influenced early in life based on the quality of life in childhood portrayed in hours.
There are approximately
in the first 18 years of life.
Positive % Negative % Pos Hours Neg Hours
The positive and negative impact of life’s past events shape our cognitive,emotional and neurological responses to current events.
Intelligence Blood type
Predisposition: a tendency; inclination;
ADHD- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Depression and other mental health conditions
Predisposition to certain cancers and illnesses
The following are basic beliefs and practices that adults need to adopt into their personal life to be prepared to implement the nurturing philosophy into their parenting and teaching practices.
A role is generally defined as a set of behaviors that are time and situation specific.
There are three primary categories of roles (doings) that humans (beings) generally are involved:
Nurturing Mommies and Daddies are created from nurturing women and men
Caregivers that nurture themselves
as men or women are better
equipped to nurture others.
Burnout and stress are the result of ignoring the basic needs of self.
Based on adults understanding and adopting nurturing beliefs and practices, the following are strategies to enhance the four C’s of Nurturing:
1. Recognizing, understanding and handling feelings.
2. Managing stress, sadness and anger.
3. Teaching children how to recognize feelings in others.
4. Taking care of objects (toys and clothes); of other life forms (plants and animals); and other humans (having friends, baby sitting, brothers/sisters)
1. Honoring a child’s desire
2. Replacing blaming statements with responsibility statements
3. Pay attention to what you want and not to what you don’t want.
4. Too many “no” statements without corresponding “yes” statements.
1. Elimination of corporal punishment and replacement with consequences with dignity.
2. Develop Family Morals, Values and Rules
3. Praise for Being and Doing statements
4. Special recognitions: red plate
1. Building self-concept, esteem and value through helping children get their needs met.
2. Owning feelings and teaching children how to express their feelings respecting self, others (including animals) and objects.
3. Owning one’s body parts
4. Bed time power stories
The Two WolvesNative American Wisdom
Family Development Resources, Inc.
Publishers of the Nurturing Parenting Programs®
Visit our Website at www.nurturingparenting.com
“An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchild about life. He said to his grandchild …
“A fight is going on inside of me … and it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other wolf stands for honor, joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
The same fight is going on inside of you and inside of every other human being too.”
After thinking about it for a minute or two, the grandchild asked her grandfather, “Which wolf will win”?
The old man leaned toward his grandchild and whispered …
“The one you feed.”