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合 奏 「管」然「樂」. Your Questions. How to communicate with my child? How to raise a responsible child? How to teach my child patiently? How to effectively communicate with spouse when parents have different ways of discipline a kid(s)?

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Your Questions

  • How to communicate with my child?

  • How to raise a responsible child?

  • How to teach my child patiently?

  • How to effectively communicate with spouse when parents have different ways of discipline a kid(s)?

  • Disciplinary actions appropriate for kids at different ages (what's appropriate for what age).

  • Develop spiritual characters within the family and how to bring them up in a godly way.

  • Discipline/building positive relationships.

  • How to teach kids in a way they understand?


Your Questions

  • How to communicate with my child?

  • How to raise a responsible child?

  • How to teach my child patiently?

  • How to effectively communicate with spouse when parents have different ways of discipline a kid(s)?

  • Disciplinary actions appropriate for kids at different ages (what's appropriate for what age).

  • Develop spiritual characters within the family and how to bring them up in a godly way.

  • Discipline/building positive relationships.

  • How to teach kids in a way they understand?



  • How did your parents discipline you?

  • What do you remember most about your parents discipline?

  • What do you agree/disagree about your parents style of discipline?

  • What similarities/differences do you see in the way you/your spouse discipline and how you were disciplined as a child?


The Difference Styles of Discipline

Support & Love

(Affirmation)

Control (Punishment)


The Difference Styles of Discipline

Low in Control

High in Control

Control (Punishment)


The Difference Styles of Discipline

High Support & Love

Support & Love

(Affirmation)

Low Support & Love


The Difference Styles of Discipline

High Support & Love

Low in Control

Low in Control

Low in Control

High in Control

High in Control

The Balanced Child

The Uncontrolled Child

Authoritative

Permissive

Where

Are You?

The

Crushed

Child

The Neglected Child

Authoritarian

Neglectful

Low Support & Love


?


Todays Menu

  • What is Discipline?

  • The Wrong Assumptions in Discipline

  • Different Ways to Discipline and Their Pros and Cons

  • Prevention Over Intervention

  • Basic Principles of Discipline

  • Steps to Positive Behaviors

  • Q & A

  • Bonus (Leading by Example, How to Communicate with kids)


The Biblical Principles

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Prov. 22:6


Definition of Discipline

  • External Discipline

  • Internal Discipline

  • The goal is to apply external discipline to enable a child to develop new skills and proper conduct in order to acquire internal discipline.


Definition of Discipline

Discipline is the training

in conduct that uses

a neutral blend of

rewards and punishment

to shape moral character.

~ Effective Discipline by Donnie Johnson Fite


To inflict penalty for an offense

To train for correction and maturity

Past misdeeds

Future correct deeds

Hostility and frustration

Love and concern

Fear and Guilt

Security


Definition of Discipline

Discipline is the training

in conduct that uses

a neutral blend of

rewards and punishment

to shape moral character.

~ Effective Discipline by Donnie Johnson Fite


Definition of Discipline

Discipline is the training

in conduct that uses

Positive and Negative

Consequences

to shape moral character.

~ Effective Discipline by Donnie Johnson Fite


The Little Adult Assumption

The belief that kids are basically reasonable and unselfishjust smaller versions of grownups. They misbehave because they dont have enough information. So...

False Assumption:

Give them calm, rational explanations of why they should change a behavior and they will shape up immediately.


Two Biggest Discipline Mistakes

  • Too Much Talking Too Much Talking is a mistake because it either does not work or takes you through the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-HitSyndrome.

  • Too Much Emotion Too Much Emotion is a mistake because the child picks up on negative emotions which may prolong or increase their negative behaviors


Parents as Animal Trainers


Parents as Animal Trainers

  • Choose a training method

  • Repeat it until it works

  • If done correctly, youll get result


Forms of Discipline

  • Yelling

  • Put-Down

  • Forcing an Apology

  • Time-Out


How to Execute Time-Out(or the naughty step)

  • Warning (either 1 warning or 1-2-3)

  • If ignores Time-Out

  • Explanation and walk away

  • Set a timer (1 minute per age)

  • If get up put back & reset timer

  • Times up Explain why again (?)

  • Ask for apology

  • Resolution Hugs and Kisses


?


Forms of Discipline

  • Yelling

  • Put-Down

  • Forcing an Apology

  • Time-Out

  • Loss of Privilege

  • Grounding

  • Spanking

    • Is it okay to spank? If so, how?


Forms of Discipline

  • Spanking

    • Whoever spares the rodhates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to disciplinethem.

      ~ Prov. 13:24 ~

    • Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.

      ~ Prov. 22:15 ~


Forms of Discipline

  • Spanking

    • Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rodand save them from death.

      ~ Prov. 23:13-14 ~

    • A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

      ~ Prov. 29:15 ~


Forms of Discipline

  • Spanking

    • Do not spank in anger

    • Age appropriate (roughly between 18 months to 10 years old)

    • Only used for active defiance

    • Spanking is a procedure...a means and not an end...administer with love, explanation, and resolution

    • Spanking is only one of the methods of correction, choose wisely


Forms of Discipline

  • Yelling

  • Put-Down

  • Forcing an Apology

  • Time-Out

  • Loss of Privilege

  • Grounding

  • Spanking

  • Bear Hug / Hold Down


?


!


Prevention Over Intervention

Top Ten Tantrum Triggers:

  • Tiredness

  • Hunger

  • Over or under stimulation

  • Too many demands...like sharing

  • Want to do it by themselves but not being able to

  • Disputes over food

  • Emotions like fear and anxiety

  • Perfectionist temperament

  • Not getting their own ways

  • New environments


Prevention Over Intervention

  • Establish Clear Boundaries and Consequences

    • Safety

    • Courtesy and Sharing

    • Bedtime

    • Mealtime

    • Noise Level

    • Getting Dressed

    • Tantrums


Prevention Over Intervention

  • Establish Clear Boundaries and Consequences

  • Stop Potential Bad Habits

  • Praise Good Behavior

  • Avoid Idleness And Boredom

    • Is it okay to use an iPad or iPhone to occupy the kid(s)? Discuss


Travel Tote Bag for Toddlers

  • Finger puppets

  • Etch-a-sketch / Doodle pad

  • Crayons and coloring book

  • Sticker books / Activity books

  • Pipe cleaners

  • Books to read

  • Music and storybooks on an iPod, iPad, MP3 player, or CD player, and over-the ear headphones

  • Favorite blankie or stuffed animal

  • Healthy snacks

  • Change of clothes in case of accidents


Prevention Over Intervention

  • Establish Clear Boundaries and Consequences

  • Stop Potential Bad Habits

  • Praise Good Behavior

  • Avoid Idleness And Boredom

  • Establish A Schedule

  • Express Excitement


?


Two Major Areas of Discipline

  • Controlling Inappropriate Behavior

  • Encouraging Good Behavior


Basic Principles of Discipline

  • Maximize the Trainable Years


Deut. 6:1-9


With Responsibility

Comes Privilege

Withgreatpower comes great responsibility


Basic Principles of Discipline

  • Maximize the Trainable Years

  • With Responsibility Comes Privilege


Basic Principles of Discipline

  • Maximize the Trainable Years

  • With Responsibility Comes Privilege

  • Consequence Should Match the Offense

  • Consistency and Immediate Follow-Through


Common Discipline Mistakes

  • Warn but dont follow through

  • Impossible to follow through

  • Lack of consistency

  • Impatience with the technique


Steps to Positive Behavior

  • Decide what matters to you

  • Set boundaries

  • Communicate boundaries and expectations

  • Be a good role model

  • Praise and reward

  • Comment when others do it

  • Do it everyday


?


Q & A


Your Questions

  • How to communicate with my child?

  • How to raise a responsible child?

  • How to teach my child patiently?

  • How to effectively communicate with spouse when parents have different ways of discipline a kid(s)?

  • Disciplinary actions appropriate for kids at different ages (what's appropriate for what age).

  • Develop spiritual characters within the family and how to bring them up in a godly way.

  • Discipline/building positive relationships.

  • How to teach kids in a way they understand?


Leading By Example

  • Relationship with God

  • Relationship with Spouse

  • Relationship with Others

  • Relationship with Kids


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