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T he W ellspring of J oy. Sue Bohlin www.suebohlin.com sue@probe.org. “Whoever believes in Me. . .streams of living water will flow from within him.” John 8:38. Shame. Guilt: I did something bad Shame : I am something bad There’s something wrong with me. Shame.

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T he W ellspring of J oy

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T he w ellspring of j oy

T he Wellspring ofJ oy

Sue Bohlin



T he w ellspring of j oy

“Whoever believes in Me. . .streams of living water will flow from within him.” John 8:38



  • Guilt: I did something bad

  • Shame: I amsomething bad

  • There’s something wrong with me



  • Healthyshame

    • 1. Modesty

    • 2. Awareness of not measuring up to our true self

  • Unhealthy, undeserved shame: believing the lies that deny what God says is true

Sources of shame

Sources of Shame

  • Parents

  • Peers

  • Self

  • Society

The message of shame

The Message of Shame

“I am defective and I am afraid I will be rejected and abandoned.”

Healing from shame

Healing from Shame

Fear: I am unacceptable

Antidote: God says I am accepted!

Shame grace

Shame? Grace!

The healing for shame

is to experience grace

by making a choice

to receive God’s acceptance

as His gift.

  • I am accepted in the Beloved (Eph. 1:6)

  • The Father has accepted me (Rom. 14:3)

  • Christ has accepted me (Rom. 15:7)



“We are accepted wholesale. Accepted with no possibility of being rejected. Accepted once and accepted forever. Accepted at the ultimate depth of our being. We are given what we have longed for in every nook and nuance of every relationship.” --Louis Smedes

Self pity


Self pity1


Self pity2


Not a primary feeling (sadness, grief, loss)

One response to legitimate negative feelings: “Poor me!”

Another response: trust God

Body odor

Grief and sadness are not sinful

Self pity3


  • Sadness | Self-pity

  • Sadness: “Life in a fallen world hurts.”

  • Self-pity: “I don’t deserve this.”

  • Antidote to self-pity:

    • I deserve nothing but hell

    • Life in a fallen world hurts; this is my share

    • Bad things happen, good things happen

    • God is still good

    • I will trust Him



  • Has anyone ever hurt you?

    • An arrow was lodged in your heart.

    • Arrows generate lies

    • Arrows generate pain

What forgiveness feels like

What forgiveness feels like



  • Forgiving: letting go of my right to see you suffer for what you did to me.

  • Removing your hands from the other person’s throat



  • Forgive: to let go and send away

  • Acknowledging the offense and then transferring the offender over to God in our hearts

  • Deliberately choosing not to hold the offense against the offender and not to bring it up again

  • Unforgiveness: refusing to let go of an offense Christ has already paid for

  • “Hot potato”

Letting go

Letting Go

Misunderstandings about forgiveness

Misunderstandings about Forgiveness

“Forgive and Forget”

Forgiving is not trust

Forgiving is not reconciliation

Forgiving does not mean what they did was OK.

Forgiving doesn’t mean the offender gets away with it.

What forgiveness means

What Forgiveness Means

Forgiveness means acknowledging the offense and then transferring the offender over to God in our hearts.

Forgiving someone means we deliberately choose to not to hold his offense against him and not to bring it up again.

Steps to forgiveness

Steps to Forgiveness

Acknowledge the offense

2. Turn the person over to God to repay them

Obstacles to the wellspring of joy

Obstacles to the Wellspring of Joy

  • Shame: Receive God’s gift of acceptance

  • Self-pity: Repent of your selfishness and choose to trust God in your pain

  • Unforgiveness: Take them off your hook and put them on Jesus’ hook

The jesus jail

The Jesus Jail

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