Exodus 20

1. Exodus 20 Living The Good Life:Loving Others (Part 2)

2. The Ten Commandments Spoken directly to the Israelites by the God who had rescued them God is trying to teach his people how to live Commandments center around loving God and others (Matt 22:36-40) “Love” doesn’t mean much until you start explaining specifics

3. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery.

4. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. God designed sex for unity, pleasure and reproduction Biblical marriage is the only safe environment for sex Ignoring God will bring many harmful consequences

5. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness

6. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Journal of Development and Behavioral Pediatrics: Tests revealed that “adolescents who were sexually active had significantly higher depression scores than nonsexually active subjects.”

7. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Journal of Development and Behavioral Pediatrics: Depression was “positively correlated with the number of partners in the previous 3 months”

8. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Journal of Development and Behavioral Pediatrics: Having a strong sense of “purpose in life” was “significantly negatively correlated with... the number of sexual partners in the previous 3 months.” Robert H. DuRant et.al., “Exposure to Violence and Victimization and Depression, Hopelessness, and Purpose in Life Among Adolescents Living in and Around Public Housing,” Development and Behavioral Pediatrics, Vol. 16, (1995) p. 233-237.

9. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Conservative estimates are that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair Peggy Vaughn, The Monogamy Myth, 2003, p. 7

10. Jill Manning, PhD, BYU, Testimony before U.S. Senate, 2004 The research indicates pornography consumption is associated with the following six trends, among others: 1. Increased marital distress, and risk of separation and divorce, 2. Decreased marital intimacy and sexual satisfaction, 3. Infidelity 4. Increased appetite for more graphic types of pornography… 5. Devaluation of monogamy, marriage and child rearing, Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later

11. Jill Manning, PhD, BYU, Testimony before U.S. Senate, 2004 6. An increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and addictive sexual behaviour. These trends reflect a cluster of symptoms that undermine the foundation upon which successful marriages and families are established. While the marital bond may be the most vulnerable relationship to Internet pornography, children and adolescents are the most vulnerable audience. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later

12. Jill Manning, PhD, BYU, Testimony before U.S. Senate, 2004 When a child lives in a home where an adult is consuming pornography, he or she encounters the following four risks: 1. Decreased parental time and attention 2. Increased risk of encountering pornographic material 3. Increased risk of parental separation and divorce and 4. Increased risk of parental job loss and financial strain Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later

13. Jill Manning, PhD, BYU, Testimony before U.S. Senate, 2004 When a child or adolescent is directly exposed the following effects have been documented: 1. Lasting negative or traumatic emotional responses, 2. Earlier onset of first sexual intercourse, thereby increasing the risk of STD‘s… 3. The belief that superior sexual satisfaction is attainable without having affection for one's partner, thereby reinforcing the commoditization of sex and the objectification of humans. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later

14. Jill Manning, PhD, BYU, Testimony before U.S. Senate, 2004 When a child or adolescent is directly exposed the following effects have been documented: 4. The belief that being married or having a family are unattractive prospects; 5. Increased risk for developing sexual compulsions and addictive behavior, 6. Increased risk of exposure to incorrect information about human sexuality… 7. And, overestimating the prevalence of less common practices (e.g., group sex, bestiality, or sadomasochistic activity). Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later

15. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame

16. Exodus 20 “Comprehensive Review of Recent Research,” Rutgers U., 1999 (Popenoe and Whitehead) On Cohabitation: Virtually all research on the topic has determined that the chances of divorce ending a marriage preceded by cohabitation are significantly greater than for a marriage not preceded by cohabitation 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame

17. Exodus 20 “Comprehensive Review of Recent Research,” Rutgers U., 1999 (Popenoe and Whitehead) “Living together before marriage increases the risk of breaking up after marriage…” “Unmarried couples have lower levels of happiness and well-being than married couples.” “no positive contribution of cohabitation to marriage has been ever been found.” 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame

18. Exodus 20 “Comprehensive Review of Recent Research,” Rutgers U., 1999 (Popenoe and Whitehead) “while marriages are held together largely by a strong ethic of commitment, cohabiting relationships by their very nature tend to undercut this ethic.” 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame

19. Exodus 20 “Comprehensive Review of Recent Research,” Rutgers U., 1999 (Popenoe and Whitehead) “Our results indicate that cohabitation continued to be a risk factor for troubled marriages in 2000, despite the fact that more than 40% of all couples had lived together before marriage. 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame

20. Exodus 20 “Comprehensive Review of Recent Research,” Rutgers U., 1999 (Popenoe and Whitehead) This pattern of findings is consistent with the belief that something about the experience of cohabitation lowers subsequent marital quality.” 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame

21. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame Anger, bitterness and jealousy Inability to love sexually

22. Exodus 20 This American Life, Episode 457, (Feb 10, 2012): So we decided to have a rumspringa from our relationship. And that's the other crazy thing is that we decided that 30 days was enough. Because probably within 30 days, sleeping with other people, we'll get that all out of our system in 30 days. 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame Anger, bitterness and jealousy Inability to love sexually

23. Exodus 20 This American Life, Episode 457, (Feb 10, 2012): It turns out, it's really difficult to all of a sudden become single at 31 when you've never been single for your entire life. Because all of a sudden… I'm single. And I essentially have the emotional tools of a 17-year-old boy… It really did feel like having experiences like I would imagine I would have had as a teenager. Where sex was this very powerful thing and it kind of overwhelmed you. 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame Anger, bitterness and jealousy Inability to love sexually

24. Exodus 20 This American Life, Episode 457, (Feb 10, 2012): I remember that I would—my impulse would be to say, “I love you” during sex. That would be my impulse, because that's the only way I was used to having sex. And I remember the first time that I did end up having sex, I started to say I love you, and then just kind of swallowed it and made it seem like I was coughing. And that didn't happen just once. 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame Anger, bitterness and jealousy Inability to love sexually

25. Exodus 20 This American Life, Episode 457, (Feb 10, 2012): Host: Kurt says it was just a month of incredibly intense feelings. He'd feel this crazy elation or he would find himself walking down the street weeping… 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame Anger, bitterness and jealousy Inability to love sexually

26. Exodus 20 This American Life, Episode 457, (Feb 10, 2012): Kurt: I do have a theory now. I do have a theory about if I do get married in the future. What I think I would want to do is have an agreement that at the end of seven years, we have to get remarried in order for the marriage to continue. But at the end of seven years, it ends. And we can agree to get remarried or not get remarried. 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame Anger, bitterness and jealousy Inability to love sexually

27. Exodus 20 This American Life, Episode 457, (Feb 10, 2012): Host: Why? Kurt: Because I think you get to choose and I think it would make the relationship stronger. Host: I don’t know what I think of that. Because I think, actually, one of the things that's a comfort in marriage is that there isn't a door at seven years. And so if something is messed up in the short-term, there's a comfort of knowing, well, we made this commitment. 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame Anger, bitterness and jealousy Inability to love sexually

28. Exodus 20 This American Life, Episode 457, (Feb 10, 2012): And so we’re just going to work this out. And even if tonight we're not getting along or there's something between us that doesn't feel right, you have the comfort of knowing, we've got time. We're going to figure this out. And that makes it so much easier. Because you do go through times when you hate each other's guts. You know what I mean? Kurt: Of course you do. Yeah. 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame Anger, bitterness and jealousy Inability to love sexually

29. Exodus 20 This American Life, Episode 457, (Feb 10, 2012): Host: And the no escape clause, weirdly, is a bigger comfort to being married than I ever would have thought before I got married. Kurt: Really? Host: Yeah. Kurt: I had never thought of it that way. I like thinking about it that way, you just see so many examples of where people don't think that way. 14 You must not commit adultery. Harmful consequences: Disease Misery and loneliness Inability to form families later Damaged children Distrust and shame Anger, bitterness and jealousy Inability to love sexually

30. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery.

31. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal.

32. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. Must do more than stop stealing Eph 4:28 – He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need.

33. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. • Many ways to break this one: • Employee theft • “Borrowing” money or stuff • Various types of fraud (insurance, return, tax, academic) • Using God-given gifts for selfish gain • Failure to work hard and give

34. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal.

35. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor.

36. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. Can be extended to include all forms of dishonesty God’s people should have integrity and speak truth Lying breaks down trust, which hurts relationships and testimony re: God

37. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. Ways to break this commandment: Direct lying Misquoting or misrepresenting Hiding sin Failure to confront Exaggeration

38. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. 17 You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.

39. Exodus 20 Covet = desire or crave Not necessarily wrong to desire This is internal, but can quickly lead to external acts 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. 17 You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.

40. Exodus 20 Covet = desire or crave Not necessarily wrong to desire This is internal, but can quickly lead to external acts 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. 17 You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor. James 1 14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

41. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. 17 You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.

42. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. 17 You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.

43. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. 17 You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.

44. Exodus 20 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. 17 You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.

45. Exodus 20 Includes jealousy, envy, and ingratitude too And pretty much any kind of lust: Relational, Sexual, Feelings, Comfort, Freedom, Materialistic, Glory, Appearance, Ability, Ministry 14 You must not commit adultery. 15 You must not steal. 16 You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. 17 You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.

46. Hon. Parents No Killing No Adultery No Stealing No Lying No Coveting

47. Hon. Parents Forgiving them Moving toward in love Cultivating gratitude Working to repair relationship Helping them out View with compassion No Killing Hating Bitterness Slander, Gossip Name-calling Failure to do everything possible to aid their life No Adultery Porno Emotional affairs Fantasizing Unrighteous divorce Homosexuality Cohabitation Other fornication No Stealing Employee theft “Borrowing” Various types of fraud Selfish use of gifts Failure to work hard and give No Lying Direct lying Misquoting Misrepresenting Hiding sin Failure to confront Exaggeration Any lack of integrity No Coveting Envy Ingratitude Wanting anything you shouldn’t want Lust: Relational, Sexual, Comfort, Materialistic, etc.

48. Exodus 20 18 When the people heard the thunder and the loud blast of the ram’s horn, and when they saw the flashes of lightning and the smoke billowing from the mountain, they stood at a distance, trembling with fear.

49. Exodus 20 19 And they said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen. But don’t let God speak directly to us, or we will die!” 20 “Don’t be afraid,” Moses answered them, “for God has come in this way to test you, and so that your fear of him will keep you from sinning!”

50. Exodus 20 21 As the people stood in the distance, Moses approached the dark cloud where God was. 22 And Yahweh said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: You saw for yourselves that I spoke to you from heaven.