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The Love Unit. The Lost Art of Courtship True Intimacy What happens when we don’t teach boys about sex? Ten tips for a great relationship. The Lost Art of Courtship.

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Presentation Transcript
slide2

The Lost Art of Courtship

  • True Intimacy
  • What happens when we don’t teach boys about sex?
  • Ten tips for a great relationship
the lost art of courtship
The Lost Art of Courtship

Courtship is all about anticipation and deepening the popularity between lovers so that, when the time comes to ‘hit the sack’ we are more than ready.

Courtship offers an opportunity to shift out of our everyday

reality and plunge into pleasure.

When we court, we have a chance

to express that which we usually

keep hidden: tenderness, vulnerability.

desire, and devotion.

slide4

Romantic love demands courage: it asks that we get clear about how we feel and have the courage to put our hearts on the line.

  • If we truly desire another person, we have to ‘gamble everything for love’ otherwise we may never experience love.
slide5

Once we leap into courtship (our journey to loving another) we must be willing to do the work.

  • Courtship is not just what happens before love making, actually it should be an ongoing affair.
true intimacy
True Intimacy
  • Every human being wants to be

loved. We all want love and under-

standing, but we often confuse love

with desire. Love and desire are different things.

There are three kinds of intimacy: physical, emotional and spiritual.

slide7

Sexual or physical intimacy can’t be separated from emotional intimacy, we always feel some emotional intimacy when we’re sexual, even if we say we don’t.

  • When spiritual intimacy is there, then physical and emotional intimacy can be healthy, healing and pleasurable.
slide8

Each one of us is seeking emotional intimacy.

We want to have real communication and mutual understanding.

When you love someone, you have to respect them, not only there mind but also their body. The mind and body are connected.

what happens when we don t teach boys about sex
What happens when we don’t teach boys about sex?
  • Male sexuality in 2012 is boyish, confused, shame- based and wounded because the grownups have relinquished their responsibility.
  • Since adults are not willing to teach

boys about their bodies, they have

to learn from other sources.

  • When parents look the other way, we leave it

up to children to teach each other about their

bodies and sex. The other main teacher becomes

porn.

what happens when we don t teach boys about sex1
What happens when we don’t teach boys about sex?
  • Porn is slowly but surely conditioning the male brain toward further disconnection and unrealistic, disembodied sexuality.
  • Porn use is increasing rapidly among men and boys, and meanwhile, sexual dysfunction is also on the rise-premature or delayed ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, to name a few.
slide11

Gender conditioning via the boy code is the root of this issue. The boy code is the gender straight jacket that trains boys to distrust their intuition, emotions, sensitivity and relational capacity.

  • It also shames boys out of their sexual essence by teaching them to act tough and to put down women and gays.
slide12

Most grown men are still stuck in an immature stage of development where deep down, they are hurt, scared, ashamed little boys. If no one taught these men mature, healthy masculine sexuality, it’s unfair to expect them to be any different.

  • A man who has not done his work lives in a boyish, immature stage of sexuality, and his intimate relationships reflect that.
slide13

He’s only able to go to a certain point intimately and sexually, and has no idea that sex could be a spiritual practice rather than just getting his rocks off.

  • We must return to a deep masculine sexuality that is open, present, loving, heart-centered, and embodied. Men have to transcend their conditioning and this will take effort and commitment.
ten tips for a great relationship
Ten tips for a great relationship
  • Listen
  • Be honest
  • Have fun together
  • Discover how your partner

feels most loved, and do your best to tell them in that way.

5. Tell others how fabulous your partner is.

6. When telling your partner that you love them, be specific.

  • Be clear in your agreements
  • Honor your partner’s integrity and trust them
  • Honor your differences
  • Find out what your partner wants and give it to them
t he triangular theory of love
The triangular theory of love
  • In this model by Robert Sternberg, all love is composed of three elements: intimacy, passion and commitment.
slide16

Intimacy involves closeness, caring, and emotional support.

  • Passionrefers to states of emotional and physiological arousal. This includes sexual arousal and physical attraction as well as other kinds of intense emotional experiences.  
  • Commitmentinvolves a decision to commit to loving the other and trying to maintain that love over time.
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