Review/Overview

1. Review/Overview • Preparation • Opening a negotiation: • Greetings, introductions, small talk, hosting • Transition to negotiation: • Discussing agenda if necessary • Establishing good lines of communication: • Using explicit phrases to make and clarify pts • ‘Active’ listening, asking different types of questions

2. Our focus today • Maintaining good lines of communication (even when things get difficult) • Video analysis • Principled negotiation approach • Possible reasons for loss of communication • Focus on interactional style • Practice: Negotiation in groups of 4 or 5

4. What went wrong? • Sean getting aggressive, making personal judgment on Andrew (inexperience) • Andrew getting defensive in the face of this pressure from Sean • Sean and Francoise not working as a team

5. What’s going right? • Sean expressing his concerns with a ‘soft on people, hard on issues’ approach • More indirect language • politeness expressions when interrupting and saying face-threatening things • Andrew listening, acknowledging concerns, asking questions

6. Principled Negotiation: when the other party is (or seems) difficult • Stay calm: Getting defensive will probably not be productive. • Keep listening, acknowledge their concerns, and stay open to any of their principled arguments. • Appeal to principles of fairness and reason (and appeal to them as fair and reasonable people).

7. Principled Negotiation: when the other party is (or seems) difficult • Appeal to objective criteria: Facts, precedent, moral standards, costs, efficiency, scientific judgment, tradition, reciprocity, equality, professional standards or advice, market value… • Be well-aware of your own best alternatives to a negotiated agreement (BATNA).

8. Principled Negotiation: when the other party is (or seems) difficult • Re-frame the issue as a joint search for a solution – not a fight to be won. • If possible, don’t yield to pressure (bribes, threats, manipulative appeal to trust, refusal to budge), only to principle. • Possibly suggest a third party to help you resolve the issue.

9. Reasons why people may be difficult… some possibilities • They really are ‘jerks’, or are explicitly trying to manipulate you by being difficult. • They are not trying to be difficult, but are simply frustrated, confused, bored, not feeling valued or understood… • They are not trying to be difficult, but have a different interactional style than you, and this is causing friction and misinterpretations.

10. Interactional Style – what is it? A person’s habitual, often subconscious, patterns of acting and speaking in interaction with other people

11. Interactional style is influenced by: • Wider culture or nationality • Gender, ethnicity, community norms • Individual personality and values • Education, school and work experience • Immediate context/situation of interaction • Mood, health…

12. Interactionalstyle dimensions More direct style More indirect style

13. Interactionalstyle dimensions More direct style More indirect style Possible miscommunication: Feels confused, impatient Feels offended, pushed

14. Interactional style dimensions More eye contact Less eye contact

15. Interactionalstyle dimensions More eye contact Less eye contact Possible miscommunication: Feels other doesn’t care, isn’t listening Feels other is aggressive, insolent

16. Interactionalstyle dimensions Fewer, shorter pauses Frequent overlap of talk More, longer pauses Rare overlap of talk

17. Interactionalstyle dimensions Fewer, shorter pauses Frequent overlap of talk More, longer pauses Rare overlap of talk Possible miscommunication: Talks all the time, trying to fill the awkward silences Rarely talks; ‘can’t get a word in edgewise’

18. Interactionalstyle dimensions Ask questions to get information Information should be volunteered

19. Interactionalstyle dimensions Ask questions to get information Information should be volunteered Possiblemiscommunication: Asks all the questions, Waits for questions, feels other doesn’t care about him/her Waits for other to volunteer information; feels interrogated

20. Interactionalstyle dimensions Wide pitch variation Less pitch variation

21. Interactionalstyle dimensions Wide pitch variation Less pitch variation Possible miscommunication: Thinks other is boring, disinterested Thinks other is overly emotional, excitable

22. Interactionalstyle dimensions Frequent use of gesture, body movement Less use of gesture, body movement

23. Interactionalstyle dimensions Frequent use of gesture, body movement Less use of gesture, body movement Possible miscommunication: Feels other is disinterested, uninspired Feels other is overly excitable, unprofessional

24. Interactionalstyle dimensions Louder voice Softer voice

25. Interactionalstyle dimensions Louder voice Softer voice Possible miscommunication: Feels other is timid, shy, or possibly weak Feels other is aggressive, annoying

26. Interactionalstyle dimensions Frequent ‘backchannels’ Infrequent ‘backchannels’

27. Interactionalstyle dimensions Frequent ‘backchannels’ Infrequent ‘backchannels’ Possible miscommunication: Feels other is disinterested, or doesn’t understand Feels other is interrupting, disruptive

28. Interactionalstyle dimensions Speaks as part of thinking Speaks only after thinking

29. Interactionalstyle dimensions Speaks as part of thinking Speaks only after thinking Possible miscommunication: Thinks other is too cautious, conservative, not a quick thinker Thinks other is too impulsive, not careful, not trustworthy

30. What can be done? • Be aware of possible style differences • Don’t assume you know the others’ styles • Stay observant in the interaction rather than judgmental • Try to identify style differences if they occur • Try to adjust your style somewhat • Occasionally check in with the others – are they comfortable with the interaction? • Talk explicitly about possible style differences

31. Negotiation Practice • Situation: Negotiating a (new) smoking policy in your office. See page 14 for diagram. • Details: Refer to individual sheet from me • Groups of 4-5, two teams

32. Preparation (10 minutes) • First, separately prepare for the negotiation in your respective teams: • A and B on one team • C, D and maybe E on the other • Make brief notes on your negotiation worksheets.

33. The Negotiation (20 minutes) • Greetings • Briefly set agenda (objective, procedure) • Present and discuss respective interests (listen and ask questions) • Present and discuss possible options (listen and ask questions) • Come to an agreement OR agree on next step