BUILDING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

1. BUILDINGEMOTIONALINTELLIGENCE Tools for Frontline Staff Presented by Sue Schlichtemeier-Nutzman, Ph.D. Leadership/Management Consultant trainingphd@gmail.com * (402) 416-8599

3. WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE? The ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions.

4. APPLYING EI: If you are able to use this information to guide your thinking and actions, then you are using Emotional Intelligence.

5. Most researchers believe that IQ remains relatively stable over our lifetimes Most researchers believe that EI can be learned and strengthened

6. Why EQ? EFFECTIVE PREVENTION AND INTERVENTION: • People with higher EQ are more likely to view life’s challenges as opportunities • People with higher EQ don’t get “caught” in difficult peoples’ traps • People with higher EQ have more skills for dealing with difficult people, places, tasks, schedules, conditions, and events

8. Elements of Executive EQ:(Adapted from: Cooper and Sawaf)SCORING: Place a check in the blank if you can say YES to… Section I: CURRENT EVENTS – Past 6 months • Scale I: Life Events – __ A. I have been in the same job or been promoted __ B. I have maintained steady financial income __ C. I have experienced no changes in family structure (births, deaths, adoptions) __ D. I have lived in a dwelling that suits my needs

9. SCORING: Place a check in the blank for YES… • Scale 2: Work Pressures __ A. I feel that my job is relatively secure __ B. I enjoy most of the people I work with __ C. I have plenty of time to do my work __ D. I generally have control over my work schedule and it is somewhat flexible

10. -- Scale 3: Personal Pressures __ A. I have peaceful relationships with people who are important to me __ B. My personal health is good __ C. I have developed a positive work-family balance __ D. I live in a safe neighborhood

11. Section II: EMOTIONAL LITERACY – Today • Scale 4: Emotional Self-Awareness __ A. I am aware of my feelings most of the time __ B. I can easily tell when I am getting upset __ C. When I am sad, I know the reason(s) __ D. I don’t judge myself by others’ standards

12. Scale 5: Emotional Expression __ A. I show my appreciation to others __ B. I express both positive and negative emotions clearly __ C. I can ask for help when I need it __ D. I can sense how others are feeling and I try to respond with sensitivity

13. -- Scale 6: Emotional Awareness of Others __ A. I am OK talking with/listening to people who don’t share my views __ B. I focus on people’s positive attributes __ C. I seldom have the urge to tell someone off __ D. I consider myself a very good listener

14. Section III:EQ COMPETENCIES – Past 30 days • Scale 7: Intentionality __ A. I can easily shut out distractions when I need to __ B. I finish most things that I start __ C. I can say “no” when I want to __ D. I handle criticism with an open mind

15. Scale 8: Creativity __ A. I often suggest innovative projects __ B. I participate in information sharing when I can __ C. I can often predict when an idea will “fly” __ D. I often embrace new ideas and concepts

16. Scale 9: Resilience __ A. I “bounce back” after a disappointment __ B. I am a relatively patient person __ C. I stay on top of my workload without procrastinating __ D. I can relax, so tension doesn’t build up

17. Scale 10: Interpersonal Connections __ A. I am able to grieve losses __ B. I am able to experience emotional closeness __ C. I am able to show affection __ D. I have a relatively easy time making friends

18. -- Scale 11: Constructive Discontent __ A. I can disagree constructively __ B. I can count on others to get things done __ C. If I have a concern, it is important to share it when the time is right __ D. I talk about things as needed, so they don’t build to a crisis

19. Section IV: VALUES & BELIEFS – Past 30 days • Scale 12: Compassion __ A. I am fairly skilled at reading others’ feelings __ B. I have forgiven myself for not being perfect __ C. I have forgiven others who have done unkind things to me __ D. I try to focus on my strengths, rather than constantly worrying about my shortcomings

20. Scale 13: Outlook __ A. I tend to look on the positive side __ B. Problems rarely overwhelm me __ C. I am able to prioritize effectively __ D. I am excited about what the future holds for me

21. Scale 14: Intuition __ A. My hunches are usually right __ B. I am “big enough” to change my mind __ C. I am willing to consider opinions that are different from mine __ D. Sometimes I am just full of good ideas

22. Scale 15: Trust Radius __ A. I trust and respect my colleagues __ B. When something isn’t working, I try to come up with an alternate plan __ C. Most things in life are fair and equitable __ D. I am a trustworthy and trusting person

23. Scale 16: Personal Power __ A. I feel in charge of my life __ B. I am willing to fight the establishment, if I feel strongly that I’m right __ C. I am a competent and capable person __ D. If I reflect on my life, I’ve spent a lot of time feeling happy

24. Scale 17: Integrity __ A. I am willing to admit my mistakes __ B. I still have passion for my job __ C. I am willing to state my case __ D. I am realistic about my abilities

25. Section V: EQ OUTCOMES – Past month • Scale 18: General Health – Check those you can say YES to: __ A. I feel healthy, free of physical symptoms like back pain, headaches, colds __ B. I don’t let life hurry me; I take time to eat, plan, and reflect __ C. Most of my habits contribute to my wellness (diet, exercise, truthtelling) __ D. I let go of anxiety and frustration in timely and healthy ways

26. Scale 19: Quality of Life __ A. I am satisfied with my life __ B. I feel energetic most of the time __ C. I am happy with my life __ D. I have made the most of my abilities

27. Scale 20: Relationship Quotient __ A. I am able to connect with some people on a “deeper” level __ B. I am able to be honest with people close to me __ C. I am able to find people to socialize with __ D. I am able to tell people I care

28. Scale 21: Optimal Performance __A. I am generally satisfied with my work performance __ B. I usually feel engaged at work __ C. I am able to meet work goals __ D. I am able to pay close attention at work

29. SCORE: • 0-20 = You are at a critical point and need to examine ways to build your EQ today • 21-40 = You are at a crossroads and would benefit greatly from building your EQ • 41-60 = National average EQ • 61-80 = You are on the path to optimal EQ • 81-84= You have obviously built and maintained a healthy EQ that serves you well

30. PLAN: • Choose one area where your EQ wasn’t as high as it could be. Identify three things you could do to build (or re-build) your EQ: 1. _____________________________ 2. _____________________________ 3. _____________________________

31. HIGH EQ LOW EQ Blames others for feelings Disguises: “I feel that….” Dominated by negative feelings Tends to be pessimistic and may invalidate others’ joy Unable/unwilling to read others’ nonverbals Exaggerates or minimizes feelings Internalizes failure Avoids connections w/ others Clings to beliefs, afraid of change Uncomfortable to be around • Not afraid to express feelings • Expresses feelings clearly • Dominated by positive feelings • Tends to be optimistic but realistic (can be pessimistic) • Able to read others’ nonverbals • Balances feelings with logic and reason • Does not internalize failure • Seeks connections w/ others • Listens to other viewpoints • Enjoyable to be around Source: Mayer and Salovey

32. ADVANTAGES OF HIGH EQ: • Less likely to leave work emotionally exhausted • More likely to have reserve energy • Less likely to dread interacting with “certain” people • More likely to enjoy your job • Less likely to forget things • More likely to continue learning and growing Plato: “All learning has an emotional base”.