Lecture: The Fourth Step in Essay Writing, the Four Bases of Writing Essays. Chapters 5 & 6. Step 4 Revise and Edit Your Work. Strategies for revising sentences: Use parallelism . Use a consistent point of view. Use specific words. Use active verbs. Use concise words.
Chapters 5 & 6
Strategies for revising sentences:
By balancing the items in a sentence,
you will make the sentence clearer
and easier to read.
My job includes checking inventory,
initialing orders, and to call the suppliers.
Do not shift verb tenses unnecessarily.
Jean punched down the risen dough.
Then she dumpsit onto the worktable.
Do not shift point of view unnecessarily.
One of the fringe benefits of my job is that youI can use a company credit card for gasoline.
To be an effective writer, you must use specificwords rather than general words.
1: Use exact names. (Not “the boy,” but “Vince.”)
2: Use lively verbs. (Not “ate,” but “slurped.”)
3: Use descriptive words. (Not “the car,” but “the rickety old Buick.”)
4: Use sense descriptions. (“Vince slurped his ice-cold chocolate milkshake while sitting on the squeaking front seat of his rickety old Buick.”)
Prefer theactive voice.
When the subject receives the action, the verb is in the passive voice.
The netbookwas boughtby Hakim.
When the subject of a sentence performs the action of the verb, the verb is in theactive voice.
Hakim bought the netbook.
Wordiness -- using more words than necessary is often a sign of lazy or careless writing.
Too Wordy:In this paper, I am planning to describe the hobby that I enjoy of collecting old comic books.
Revision:I enjoy collecting old comic books.
Effective writingis writing that is variedand interesting..
Vary your sentences by:
1: Adding a second complete thought.
2: Adding a dependent thought.
3: Beginning with an opening wordor
4: Placing adjectives or verbs in a series.
Transform simple sentences(which can be monotonous) --
Greg worked on the engine. The car still wouldn’t start.
Greg worked on the engine, but the car still wouldn’t start.
Transform simple sentences(which can be monotonous) –
The library was very quiet. I couldn’t concentrate.
Although the library was very quiet, I couldn’t concentrate.
...transforms simple sentences(which can be monotonous) --
Paul was concerned about his daughter’s fever. Paul called a doctor.
Concerned about his daughter’s fever, Paul called a doctor.
...transforms simple sentences
(which can be monotonous) –
The truck bouncedoff a guardrail. It sideswipeda tree. It plungedinto the ditch.
The truck bounced off a guardrail, sideswiped a tree, and plunged into the ditch.
After revising, check for mistakes in grammar,punctuation,mechanics,usage, and spelling.
Edit according to the conventions of written English, akasentence skills.
Check the edited draft of your paper for typosand other careless errors.
Advance a single point and stick to it.
Support your point with specific evidence.
Organize and connect the specific evidence.
4) SENTENCE SKILLS
Write clear, error-free sentences.