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MULLET. S. C. P. O. CLICK. Mullet Police. 2004 saw a rise in the number of mullets being sported by individuals purporting to have fashion sense. Cities whose denizens chose to mullet-up, noticed a dramatic fall in tourism and related income. It was time to call in. MULLET. COPS.

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Mullet Police

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Mullet police

MULLET

S

C

P

O

CLICK

Mullet

Police


Mullet police

2004 saw a rise in the number of

mullets being sported by

individuals purporting to have

fashion sense.

Cities whose denizens chose to

mullet-up, noticed a dramatic

fall in tourism and related income.

It was time to call in...

MULLET

COPS


Mullet police

If your mullet fits into any of the following

categories... YOU WILL BE BUSTED

The Seventeen

The choice mullet for

redneck piss-heads.

Banned in most European

countries, it is still

prevalent in Southern

U.S. states.

Wear it here and YOU WILL

BE BUSTED

The Seventeen


Mullet police

The Deliverance

The Deliverance is a close relative of The Seventeen, and

generally worn by denizens of Alabama and Kentucky in

the U.S.A. It has however been spotted in Melton.


Mullet police

The Gilly

The Gilly. Worn exclusively by people with

massive lugs, The Gilly remains the stalwart

haircut of fuckwits like this everywhere.


Mullet police

The Lioness is a mane

of hair worn by females

attempting to emulate

their male counterparts.

Often accompanied by a

male wearing The Lion,

the female adorns herself

in bright colours and

uses oral incense burners

to attract Lions back to

her caravan.

Prevalent in Moe and

Melton, wear The Lioness

and YOU WILL BE BUSTED–

The Lioness


Mullet police

The Wet Lion

The Lion

Here are the 2 known varieties of The Lion. The Wet Lion is

achieved through excessive use of Product. Our man on the

right has chosen to enhance his Lion with the use of colour

highlights and earrings.


Mullet police

The Methamphetamine is a

personal favourite, as there

is a genuine chance the wearer

is going to kill himself in the

near future with illicit drug

use.

Mullet cops are trained to deal

with wearers of The Meth. Any-

one seeing a Meth wearer should

not approach them but simply

call 000 and ask for POLICE.

The Methamphetamine

or The Meth


Mullet police

I would agree that the

subject here appears to

be wearing The Meth,

but in fact he is wearing

the classic Cyrus. A hair

style made famous by that

legend of country music

and champion of boot-

scooting, Billy Ray Cyrus.

Despite it’s famous father,

The Cyrus is definitely a

fashion nightmare...

Wear it and YOU WILL BE

BUSTED.

The Cyrus


Mullet police

The Scrote

The Scrote is worn by criminals world wide and has

reached epidemic proportions in Moe and Robinvale.

A special Mullet Cop task force has been created to

specifically target and prosecute barbers trafficking

in Scrotes.


Mullet police

The Chief almost made it

into the regulated-

mullet category, however

after it’s appearance at

a number of homicides,

the decision to outlaw

The Chief was made.

The subject to your left

is in fact deceased and is

lying in a pool of blood.

He was murdered by

another Chief wearer,

following a dispute over

a glory hole at a local

perverts hangout in

Sunbury Victoria.

The Chief


Mullet police

His

Hers

The Kyneton

...nuff said


Mullet police

The Mouth

Another favourite. The Mouth is generally worn by

males with low life expectancy. The Mouth is found

in hotels and hospital emergency depts world-wide.

Unfortunately the only subject we could find for this

slide show was unconscious.


Mullet police

Hailing from Scandinavia,

The Norseman combines a

traditional Viking hair-

style with the modern

mullet.

However, the two were never

intended to meet and the

wearer faces severe

punishment if apprehended.

The combination of The

Norseman, pink skin and

denim shorts suggest this

male is in fact from

Scandinavia, where The

Norseman is tolerated only

because of it’s historical

roots. Wear it here and YOU

WILL BE BUSTED.

The Norseman


Mullet police

The Goran

The Zoran

The Ivan

The Drago

The Serb

Known in Australia as either The Goran, Zoran, Ivan, Drago

or Serb, depending on what state you’re in, this mullet

is popular with our Slavic immigrants. It’s origins are unknown, as traditional Slavic haircuts suggest shorter hairstyles are the preferred option.


Mullet police

The WTF

A sad little number, worn by aging celebs as their

eyes become more slanted and their skin gets shinier

thanks to the surgeon’s knife.

The WTF or What-The-Fuck is a borderline call by

the Mullet cop, to arrest or not to arrest?


Mullet police

The Sportsman is

truly a Mullet cop’s

trophy bust, purely

because they are so

rare in the wild.

Hardly seen outside

his home, The

Sportsman prefers

the shaded lounge or

study where he toils

on his computer or

watches TV for weeks

on end.

The Sportsman


Mullet police

The Mangles

The Mangles, paired up with a pair of Speedos and cruising Hungry Jacks like he owns the place, this bloke is just asking to be busted.

Alby Mangles tested this mullet back in the 70s when he was a B-Grade celeb. Alby who? That’s right - stay away

from The Mangles.


Mullet police

Increasingly popular

with the older generation,

The Dirty Thirty is some-

times referred to as the

Claytons Mullet due to

it’s similar length to a

regular haircut.

Only the close cropped

sides and below collar

length ringlets give the

discerning observer

confirmation that this is

actually a bona fide

mullet.

If you’re caught wearing

this, you better have a

good lawyer.

The

Dirty

Thirty


Mullet police

The Desperado

The desperado. Worn by men desperate to find

a partner before those last few follicles leave

the tops of their heads.

Similar in appearance to The WTF, this bloke is

not in a financial position to get a hair-

transplant. Lets hope she can bake cakes with

files in them if he gets busted wearing that.


Mullet police

Sadly, The Bull has

been added to the

list of mullets making

a comeback in the

lesbian scene.

Once touted as the

unofficial head-dress

of lesbians world wide,

it had virtually

disappeared at the

beginning of the 90s,

replaced by The Samson.

The Bull


Mullet police

The Samson. Origins

unknown, however it

has been reported the

Top-Dog from the

Fairlea Women’s

Prison circa 1987 wore

a similar style.

Another theory is that

it is derived from a

wild party where the

women were encouraged

to wear a Mirkin on

their heads.

Mirkin = artificial pubic

hair used by porn stars,

similar to a toupee.

The Samson


Mullet police

The Hammer

Supposedly for hard-asses, The Hammer is

worn with a goatee and a surly look, Mullet

cops are the only thing these guys fear.


Mullet police

The Duke

The Duke is the older man’s mullet. The wearer is often

in his late 40s or 50s and can be found swanning around

shopping centres like Lord Muck from Shit Island. In the

eyes of the law, age makes no difference under the Mullet

Act 2004. YOU WILL BE BUSTED REGARDLESS OF AGE.


Mullet police

This poor sap is wearing The

Drifter. The dirtiest and most

unhygienic of all mullets.

Possibly a police photo, the

wearer clearly looks unhappy

with his choice of mullet.

The Drifter is really the

only option for lower socio-

economic groups and requires

little or no maintenance

once the levels of natural

hair oils builds up.

One of the most common forms

of mullet brought before the

courts.

The Drifter


Mullet police

More Mullet Cops coming

soon


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