Taming the Beast
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Taming the Beast. How to Optimise a Presentation File Size. Nick Rumbelow - February 2002. Taming the Beast. Table of Contents. Section 1. Size Does Matter. Section 2. Small is Beautiful. Section 3. All Creatures Great and Small. Taming the Beast. Section 1. Size Does Matter.

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How to optimise a presentation file size

Taming the Beast

How to Optimise a Presentation File Size

Nick Rumbelow - February 2002

How to optimise a presentation file size

Taming the Beast

Table of Contents

Section 1

Size Does Matter

Section 2

Small is Beautiful

Section 3

All Creatures Great and Small

How to optimise a presentation file size

Taming the Beast

Section 1

Size Does Matter

How to optimise a presentation file size

Taming the Beast

Size Does Matter


  • Work on a copy of this presentation

  • This work-through requires PhotoShop

  • Please allow yourself about an hour to complete

  • Often, a presentation containing many images can acquire such a large file size that it causes many problems and much stress;

    • A large file requires lots of memory, it is slow to process, and is more prone to crash

    • An unstable presentation needs frequent saving, but opening and saving will take a long time, slowing down your productivity and increasing your blood-pressure

    • Printing can take an age, causing other operators’ work to be held-up

    • Large files unnecessarily hog too much space when saved on the network

  • This work-through was inspired by a presentation submitted into Creative Services into which the Analyst had inserted many colour photographs and shrunk them on the page. The file size was a crippling 75 Mb, and was causing much angst. Using the method described, it was reduced to just 6.5 Mb, without any loss of quality

  • Taking an entertaining and light-hearted approach, you will learn how to;

    • Measure which slides contain problem images

    • Identify those individual images

    • Treat the images in PhotoShop 5.5 or 6.0, and replace them

  • The method is very easy, requiring no experience with PhotoShop, and might give you a few chuckles on the way


How to optimise a presentation file size

Taming the Beast

Section 2

Small is Beautiful

How to Be a Hero

How to optimise a presentation file size

1: Work on This Presentation

2: Measure the Original

  • This is the file you will be working on, so if you are reading from a printed copy, please open the file given in the trailer.

  • This presentation contains a few pictures that are unnecessarily large. Your task is to find out which ones.

    • Before you continue, save a copy of this document into your folder

  • Select File > Properties

  • Choose theGeneral tab

    • Note the size of the file (3.75 Mb)

    • By the end of the work-through you will have reduced it by about 2.5 Mb

3: Save Again

4: Starting the Build

  • Save another copy of the presentation, this time with a temporary name such as “Build.ppt”

  • Keeping the Build presentation open, re-open your copy of the original “Taming the Beast.ppt”

    • You now have two copies open

  • Select Window > Arrange All, so that you can view both presentations together

  • In both presentations, go to the Slide Sorter View

  • In the Build, delete all but the first slide

  • Save the presentation, then check the size of the document again (56.5 Kb)

  • Drag the next slide from the original, drop it into the Build

  • Save, then check the size again (80.0 Kb)

  • So a simple page, with just a little text measures around 30 Kb on average.

  • Taming the Beast

    Small is Beautiful

    Slide by Slide

    • Section Three of this presentation - “All Creatures Great and Small” - contains a few pictures that are unnecessarily large. Your task is to find out which ones


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    5: Plain Slides Are Small Slides

    6: Save and Measure Again

    • It’s unlikely that a slide containing just text or a chart will cause any problems, unless something is hidden on the page.

      • Move the next slides from the original into the Build, until you reach the slide containing the picture of a butterfly

        • For now, don’t move this slide

    • Save the Build presentation, and measure it again

      • 520 Kb for 14 slides yields about 35-45 Kb per slide

  • Now you’ll be getting a feel for an acceptable size for a slide.

  • 7: A Small Picture

    8: Reset the Picture

    • Drag the butterfly slide “A Wretched Height” into the Build, then save and measure the presentation again

    • Notice the size has increased by just 44 Kb

    • This slide contains no problems

    • In the Build presentation, double-click on the “A Wretched Height” slide, and maximize the view

    • Select the Butterfly image

    • If the Picture Toolbar is not visible, select View > Toolbars > Picture

    • Click the Reset Picture icon on the far right of the Picture Toolbar to display its true dimensions (Fig. 1)

    Taming the Beast

    Small is Beautiful

    Reset the Picture

    • The Reset Picture icon restores the image to its original size


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Fig. 1

    The Picture Toolbar

    9: OK so Undo

    10: A Suspect Image

    • The image shrinks, indicating that it has been stretched on the page.

    • If the image does not significantly jump in size on the page, then it should be fine as it is, and requires no further attention.

      • Select Undo to revert the picture to its original size

    • Select the Slide Sorter View, and Arrange All again so that you can see both presentations

    • Drag the next slide (containing the image of an eye) into the Build from the original

    • Save the Build presentation and measure the file size again

    • Suddenly the presentation has increased by nearly 550 Kb. We’ve found a culprit!

    Taming the Beast

    Small is Beautiful

    Finding an Oversized Slide

    • If the image does not significantly increase in size when it is reset, restore it and move on to the next image

    Reset Picture


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    11: Select the Image and Copy It

    14: Greyscale?

    • Double-click on the slide, and maximize the Build window

    • Select the eye image and reset it (Fig.1)

  • Notice how massive it becomes. This is because it was inserted at a high resolution

    • With the image still selected, press Ctrl+Cto copy it, then Undo to restore its size and position

    • If the image has only a few colours, and looks nearly greyscale, the size can be reduced even further by selecting Image > Mode >Greyscale

    12: Paste the Image Into PhotoShop

    13: Crop and Adjust If Necessary

    • Open a new document in PhotoShop

    • By default, the dimensions of the new document are set to receive the contents of the clipboard memory where the copy of the eye is being stored

    • Before you click OK, notice the Image Size for the new document is 5.13 Mb (Fig 2)

    • Click OK

    • PressCtrl+Vto paste the eye image into a new layer

    • Only a small part of the image is actually required for the presentation, so crop the unwanted areas away

    • If necessary, make any tonal changes, such as Levels, Brightness and Contrast, Hue and Saturation. For more information on these topics, please refer to previous tutorials

    Taming the Beast

    Small is Beautiful

    Paste Into PhotoShop

    • If the image does increase in size when it is reset, you have found a cause of the extra size


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Fig. 2

    New Document Dialog Box in PhotoShop

    Taming the Beast

    Small is Beautiful

    The Original Size

    • Notice the Image Size of the original

      • This may vary according to screen settings

    Image Size


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    15: Save for Web

    16: Reduce the Dimensions

    • Select File > Save for Web

    • Choose the 2-Up tab (Fig. 3)

    • Select JPG High as theSetting

  • Notice the original and compressed sizes at the current dimensions (Fig. 3)

    • In the Image Size tab, reduce the Width and click Apply

    • Continue to reduce the Width until the compressed size indicates 30-40 Kb, in this case, around 300 pixels wide (Fig 3)

    • Click OK and save the image to a suitable location

    • Close the PhotoShop image without saving

    18: Save Again

    17: Replace the Original

    • Save again, and now check the size of the presentation

    • It should have shrunk by around 450-500 Kb

    • In the Build presentation, press Ctrl+G to view the guides, and use them to frame the size and location of the eye image (ensuring Snap is switched off), then delete it

    • Insert the version just saved, and resize it to fit inside the guides, cropping it further if necessary

    Taming the Beast

    Small is Beautiful

    Save for Web

    • A greyscale image carries less colour data, and will create a smaller file


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Fig. 3

    Save for Web Dialog Box

    Taming the Beast

    Small is Beautiful

    Save for Web (cont’d)

    • Aim for a target size of about 30-40 Kb


    Image Size


    Original Size

    Compressed Size


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    20: Look for the Next Giant

    21: Replace the Original Presentation

    • Continue to measure each slide by dragging it from the original into the Build, and look out for the next oversized images

    • Don’t forget to check any background images

      • Allow around 100 Kb for an image that needs to be big enough to be used as a background

    • Once all the slides have been copied over, and all the images have been optimised, close the original document without saving

    • Save the Build presentation using the name of the original to replace it, then delete the Build from the network

    22: And Finally ...

    19: No Need to Check Each Image

    • At the end of the work-through, the size of this presentation should be around 1.3 Mb, a reduction of nearly 2.5 Mb

    • By measuring the size of each slide, you might not have to check each image on that slide.

    • For example, if there are twenty logos on one slide, yet the file size doesn’t change when it is brought into the build, there is no need to investigate further

    Taming the Beast

    Small is Beautiful

    Check the Next Slide

    • Measuring the whole slide is quicker than checking each image it contains

    • Don’t forget to check any background images


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Taming the Beast

    Section 3

    All Creatures Great and Small

    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Three Inches

    • Being a pretty sharp caterpillar, he didn't just come out and reveal the secrets. For a few minutes he puffed away without speaking, then unfolded his arms, took the pipe out of his mouth, and said, “So you think you’ve changed, do you?”“I’m afraid I have, sir,” said Alice. “I can’t remember things as I used to, and I don’t keep the same size for ten minutes together.” “Can’t remember what things?” demanded the caterpillar, returning to his harsh cross-examination. After further exchanges, Alice finally came to the critical point. She wanted to return to her normal size. But she wasn't clear what that was. “What size do you want to be?” asked the caterpillar. “Oh, I’m not particular as to size, only I don’t like changing so often, you know.”“I don’t know,” snapped the caterpillar. Alice remained silent. She had never been contradicted so much in all her life, and she thought she was losing her temper again. “Are you contented now?” inquired the caterpillar. “Well, I should like to be a little larger, if you wouldn’t mind,” said Alice. “Three inches is such a wretched height to be.”

    • The caterpillar, all three inches of him, straightened up in his chair and said, “It’s a very good height indeed!”

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    A Wretched Height

    Source Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll


    How to optimise a presentation file size


    • A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what’s going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, “Pardon me. May I help you with something.”The blind man says, “No thanks. I'm just looking around.”

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    Me, Myself and Eye

    • “To suppose that the eye with all its inimitable contrivances for adjusting the focus to different distances, for admitting different amounts of light, and for the correction of spherical and chromatic aberration, could have been formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree.”Charles Darwin

    Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer

    • I have a spelling checker.It came with my pea sea.It plane lee marks four my revueMiss steaks aye can knot sea

    • Eye ran this poem threw it,Your sure reel glad two no.Its vary polished in it’s weigh.My checker tolled me sew

    • A checker is a bless sing,It freeze yew lodes of thyme.It helps me right awl stiles two reed,And aides me when I rime

    • To rite with care is quite a feetOf witch won should be proud,And wee mussed dew the best wee can,Sew flaw’s are knot aloud

    • Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays,Such soft wear four pea seas,And why eye brake in two averseBuy righting too pleas

    Source http://www.greaterthings.com/Humor/Spelling_Chequer.htm


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Creatively Serviced Hot-Line

    • Hello and welcome to the CS Hot-Line

    • If you are Obsessive Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly

    • If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you

    • If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5 & 6

    • If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.  Stay on the line so we can trace your call

    • If you are Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship

    • If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press

    • If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696

    • If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line

    • If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother’s and grandmothers’ maiden names

    • If you have Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 000

    • If you have Bi-polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep

    • If you have Short Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later

    • If you have Low Self Esteem, please hang up. All our operators are far too busy to talk to you

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    Obsessive? Compulsive? Both?

    Psychotics r Us

    • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

    • I get enough exercise just pushing my luck

    • I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

    • Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition

    • Where there's a will, I want to be in it

    • Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs

    • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

    • Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students

    • A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

    • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill

    • Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear

    Source Various


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    Are Dolphins Sarcastic?

    • Within 3 hours dolphins can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish

    Very Clever Creatures Indeed

    • Outside of his striking friendliness, the Dolphin seems to have been blessed with a well developed sense of humour. Dolphins have been known to silently manoeuvre behind an unsuspecting pelican and snatch its tail feathers - usually leaving the bird minus a few. Other pranks include grabbing unsuspecting fish by the tail, pulling them backward a few feet as well as bothering slow turtles by rolling them over and over. Once a dolphin was seen placing a piece of squid near a grouper’s rock cranny. When the fish came out, the dolphin promptly snatched the bait away, leaving the puzzled fish behind

    • In 1965 Anthropologist Gregory Bateson made the discovery that dolphins live in social groups dominated by a leader. This tie is so strong that dolphins kept in total isolation will suffer ill health and possibly death. It has also been observed that dolphins frequently stroke each other with their flippers, hence, indicating that they require physical contact much like humans. A dolphin’s skin is extremely delicate and easily injured by rough surfaces - very similar to human skin

    Source www.polaris.net/~rblacks/dolphins.htm

    Source www.polaris.net/~rblacks/dolphins.htm


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    How to Photograph Your Puppy

    • “I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.”August Strindberg

    • “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.”Sue Murphy

    • “Ever considered what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!”Anne Tyler

    • “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”Robert Anson Heinlein


    • Remove film from box and load camera

    • Remove film box from puppy’s mouth and throw in trash

    • Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle

    • Choose a suitable background for photo

    • Mount camera on tripod, check flash and focus

    • Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth

    • Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera

    • Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees

    • Focus with one hand while fending off puppy with other hand

    • Get tissue and clean nose print from lens

    • Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy’s nose

    • Put magazines back on coffee table

    • Try to get puppy’s attention by squeaking toy over your head

    • Replace your glasses and check camera for damage

    • Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say- “No, no outside!”

    • Call spouse to help clean up the mess

    • Fix a drink

    • Sit back in chair, put your feet up, sip your drink and resolve to teach puppy “sit” and “stay” the first thing in the morning

    Source Various


    How to optimise a presentation file size


    • In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field

      • We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear

      • Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray

    A Bare Bear Drinking Beer

    • This bear walks into a bar. Then he sits down and orders a beer. The bartender, amazed that this bear can actually talk, gives him a beer. The bear says, “What do I owe you?” The bartender stops and thinks for a moment. “Even though this bear is smart,” thinks the bartender, “he probably hasn’t been in many bars.” So the bartender says, “That’ll be ten dollars.” The bear forks over the money and starts drinking his beer.

    • After a few minutes, the bartender can’t restrain his curiosity, so he walks back over to the bear and tries to strike up a conversation. “You know, we don’t get many bears in this bar.”

    • The bear looks up from his beer and says, “Well, at ten bucks a beer, I’m not surprised.”

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    Bear Facts

    • Why do bears have fur coats?

      • Because they'd look stupid in anoraks

    • How do you hire a bear?

      • Put him on stilts

    • Why shouldn't you take a bear to the zoo?

      • Because they'd rather go to the cinema


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    Does My Bum Look Big In This?

    • You could make onions cry

    Nice Legs …

    • You’re so ugly that when a wasp stings you it shuts its eyes

    • Looks aren’t everything; in your case, they aren’t anything

    • You have a very sympathetic face. It has everyone’s sympathy

    • When you joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”

    • You’re so ugly they push your face into dough to make monster cookies

    • You’re so ugly, when you were born the doctor slapped your parents

    • You’ve such a striking face. So tell me, what was it that hit you?

    • People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege!

    • You’re so ugly that when you were born the doctor turned you over and said “Look twins!”


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    Bo Peep - Not to Be Trusted

    Police Warn Villagers to Be Wary of Frilly Frocks and Ringlets

    Questions and Answers

    • When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

    • Where do we get virgin wool from?

      • Ugly sheep

    • What do you call a sheep with no head feet or tail?

      • A cloud

    • A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next show. He stopped at a farmhouse and approached the farmer who lived there.

    • “Hello there, Mr. Farmer, I was just passing by and I was wondering if I might speak to your dog.” The farmer replied, “Well, you know, dogs don’t talk.” The ventriloquist said, “You’d be surprised what a dog might tell you. Can I speak with him?” The farmer, eyeing the ventriloquist suspiciously, called his dog.

    • “Hi there, Mr. Dog,” said the ventriloquist. “How does the farmer treat you?” To which the dog replied, “Oh, he’s great! He throws a stick for me, scratches my belly, and I just love him!” Needless to say, the farmer was dumbfounded.

    • Wanting to see if he could fool the farmer again, the ventriloquist asked if he could speak with the farmer’s horse. “Well, you know, horses don’t talk.” Again the ventriloquist said, “You’d be surprised what a horse might tell you.” So the farmer brought out his horse.

    • “Say, Mr. Horse, how does the farmer treat you?” asked the ventriloquist. The horse then replied, “Oh, I think he’s great. He feeds me oats, he puts a blanket over me at night, and I just love him!” Again the farmer was amazed.

    • Wanting to try his luck a third time, the ventriloquist said, “Mr. Farmer, would you like to hear what the sheep has to say about you?”

    • “Well,” declared the farmer, “The sheep’s a liar!”


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    A Snail’s …

    … Tail

    • The landlord of a pub, is just locking up, when there’s a ring on the doorbell. He opens the door, and there’s a snail sitting there. “What do you want?” asks the landlord. The snail replies that he wants a drink. “Go away, we’re closed, and we don’t serve snails anyway”. The snail pleads and pleads with the barman to give it a drink, at which the landlord gets fed up, kicks the snail and slams the door.

    • ..... Exactly one year later, he’s locking up again, and there’s a ring at the doorbell. The landlord opens the door, and looks down to see a snail sitting there.

    • “What do you want” says the landlord.“What did you do that for?” asks the snail.

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    Take Your Time

    • A snail can sleep for three years

    Fancy Dress

    • Ali G goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing, with a naked woman riding him piggy back. The host comes over and asks “Ali mate, what have you come dressed as?” Ali replies “Ai ’as come as a snail!”

    • The host looks at him saying “But Ali, how can you be a snail you’re naked except for that girl on your back?”

    • Ali smiles and says “Yeah ‘dis is michelle! Aight!”


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    Why Nagging a Man Doesn’t Work

    Monkey Business

    • What a woman says:“This place is a mess! C'mon,you and I need to clean up,your stuff is lying on the floorand you'll have no clothes to wear,if we don't do laundry right now!”

    • What a man hears:blah, blah, blah, blah, c'monblah, blah, blah, blah, you and Iblah, blah, blah, blah, on the floorblah, blah, blah, blah,no clothesblah, blah, blah, blah,right now!

    • What do monkeys get when they lie out in the sun?Orangu-tans

    • How do monkeys get down the stairs?They slide down the bananaster

    • How do monkeys cook their toast?Under the gorilla

    • What do you get if you cross a monkey with a flower? A chimp pansy

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    Don’t Nag


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    The Mightiest Animal in the Jungle

    • There was this tiger, who woke up one morning, and just felt great. He just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: “Who is the mightiest of all the jungle animals?” And this poor quaking little monkey replied: “You are of course, no one is mightier than you.”

    • A little while later this tiger confronts a deer, and just bellows out: “Who is the mightiest of all the jungle animals?”The deer is shaking so hard it can barely speak, but manages to stammer: “Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle.”

    • The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered, up to an elephant that was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: “Who is the mightiest of all the jungle animals?”

    • Well, this elephant grabs the tiger with his trunk, picks him up, slams him down; picks him up again, and shakes him until the tiger is just a blur of orange and black; and finally throws him violently into a nearby tree.

    • The tiger staggers to his feet and looks at the elephant and says: “Man, just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so angry!”

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small


    • What's grey, has four legs, and a trunk?

      • A mouse, going on holiday

    • Why do elephants have big ears?

      • Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom

    • Why do elephants scratch themselves ?

      • Because they're the only ones who know where they itch

    • What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it ?

      • Nothing, it just let out a little wine

    • What is the easy way to get a wild elephant ?

      • Get a tame one and annoy it

    • What do you call an elephant that's small and pink ?

      • A failure


    How to optimise a presentation file size

    The Test

    • This guy was deer hunting in North Carolina. He shoots a deer, and as he is dragging it back to his truck, he gets stopped by this redneck Game Warden who asks to see his hunting license. The hunter shows him the license, and is about to leave when the Game Warden says “Not so fast, boy. I need to inspect the deer.”

    • The Game Warden then reaches down, sticks his finger up the deer’s butt, pulls it out then sniffs his finger. The Game Warden gets angry then says “Wait a minute boy! This here ain’t no North Carolina deer; this here is a Virginia deer! You need to have a Virginia Hunting License to hunt this deer. You got a Virginia Hunting License on you boy?” Well, it just so happens that the guy had been hunting in Virginia the week before. He goes back into his wallet and pulls out a Virginia Hunting License. The Game Warden looks at the valid license and disappointingly says, “Well.... OK, I guess I’ll have to let you go. I really do enjoy writing up boys like you who hunt deer without a license, but you look like you got everything in order. So go on; get out of here.”

    • The following week, the guy is hunting again. He shoots another deer and as he is dragging it back to his truck, he gets stopped by the same Game Warden who says “Just a minute boy. I need to inspect the deer.” He reaches down, sticks his finger up the deer’s butt, pulls it out, sniffs his finger and says “Boy! This here is a South Carolina deer! You got a South Carolina Hunting License?” The Hunter, somewhat surprised, said that he had one in the truck. He goes and gets it out of the glove box, shows it to the Game Warden, who again has to let him go.

    The Result

    • So this goes on for the next three weeks. Each week the hunter shoots a deer; one from Georgia, Tennessee, and West Virginia. Each time the Game Warden stops to do the Finger Test, and each time the hunter is able to produce the correct license. Finally, after the West Virginia deer, the Game Warden is furious: “Boy! You got a hunting license from every state in the south! Where the hell are you from, anyway?” The hunter drops his pants, bends over and says “You Tell Me!”

    Taming the Beast

    All Creatures Great and Small

    The Finger Test

    • If you really stop to think about it, Bambi is a parable of sexism, nihilism, and despair, portraying absentee fathers and passive mothers in a world of death and violenceRoger Ebert


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