Helping Young Children Express their Feelings

1. Helping Young Children Express their Feelings In Appropriate Ways Seena M. Skelton, Ph.D

2. Agenda • The Thinking-Feeling-Behaving Connection • Understanding What We Know About Behavior • Children’s Right to Feelings • Helping children name, claim, and express their feelings appropriately

3. Creating the right conditions • Established rules and routines • Positive adult interactions • Positive adult-child interactions • Encouragement of and Acknowledgement for appropriate behavior • Materials about feelings

4. Thinking - Feeling - Behaving

5. What we know about behavior Behavior is affected by physical or emotional state Behavior is influenced by factors inside and outside the immediate context We use behavior to communicate a need or want. Behavior changes as people learn and apply new skills

6. The “Right” to express feelings • Children have the right to their feelings • Adults need to validate the feelings of a child • Children learn by watching and being shown

7. Helping children name, claim, and express their feelings • Reflective Listening • Model how to express their feeling to peers and adults • Help the child to practice expressing their feeling

8. Reflective Listening • Accept and respect all feelings • Show that you are listening to what the child is saying • Tell what you hear him or her saying • State what you think he or she is feeling • Give the child’s feeling a name

9. Helping an angry child to express feelings appropriately • Focus on the behavior • Teach the child to consider angry feelings as a problem to be solved • Help the child express angry feelings in words • Use “You-messages” to encourage children to express their feelings in words • Teach by example

10. Teach Children S.T.A.R • Stop • Think and • Reflect

11. Social Skills Instruction • Tell Them How • Show Them How • Have Them Practice • Give Them Feedback • Encourage and acknowledge the Skill Frequently