DOES BULLYING STOP AT HIGH SCHOOL? WHAT EVERY COLLEGE STUDENT SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ADDRESSING DISRUPTIVE AND UNCIVIL BEHAVI

1. DOES BULLYING STOP AT HIGH SCHOOL? WHAT EVERY COLLEGE STUDENT SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ADDRESSING DISRUPTIVE AND UNCIVIL BEHAVIOR IN A POSITIVE AND PROACTIVE MANNER Larry Rute Associates in Dispute Resolution LLC Hosted by: Pittsburg State University Pittsburg, Kansas

2. DISRUPTIVE AND UNCIVIL BEHAVIOR IN COLLEGE Behaviors can range from being rude or intimidating, to badgering, bullying, hazing or harassment. Behavior can involve students, faculty, and university staff. Behaviors can occur in any setting—the classroom or office, during a campus event, or in the dormitory. Regardless of the chosen term, everyone needs to know how to address these behaviors in a positive and proactive manner

3. Disruptive behavior can involve anyone – student, faculty, staff, or administrator. Anyone can be uncivil. Anyone can be a victim

4. An estimated 54 million adult Americans will encounter bullying in the workplace, including the educational setting. Until recently, most bullying was poorly documented or reported because it was not fully recognized as a pervasive problem. BULLYING STATISTICS Source: U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey (September 2007)

5. 40% of U.S. students voluntarily report being involved in bullying—as bullies or, as victims—according to the results of the first national survey on this subject. Bullying is increasingly viewed as an important contributor to youth violence, including homicide and suicide. BULLYING STATISTICS Source: The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies, and Bullying: A Complete Guide for Teachers and Parents.

6. Today, social media and the popular media, have revealed bullying as the insidious national disgrace that it is.Popular opinion against bullying and the development of management systems are being created at every level from grass roots organizations to local and federal courthouses. BULLYING STATISTICS

7. For example, an October 18, 2010, article in the nationally published People magazine focused on four young adults who had committed suicide as a result of bullying by their fellow classmates in the previous month. The students included Rutgers Freshman Tyler Clementi, age 18, as well as Billy Lucas, age 15, Seth Walsh, age 13, and Asher Brown, age 13. BULLYING STATISTICS

8. Just three days earlier, his freshman roommate at New Jersey’s Rutger’s University, allegedly webcammed Tyler who was engaged in an encounter with a man in their dorm room and streamed it live. Authorities have charged Charun Ravi and another student, Molly Wei, with invasion of privacy, which could lead to five years in prison. VICTIM On September 22, 2010, Tyler Clementi drove to the George Washington Bridge and jumped into the Hudson River. RUTGERS FRESHMAN TYLER CLEMENTI AGE 18

9. Actual examples of people bullied include: --Mackenzie Spainer– because people were jealous--Joey Kemerling– because he is gay--Alex and Philippe Haussman– because they are over-weight--Morah Kilgore – because she is biracial BULLYING STATISTICS

10. BULLYING – DEFINING THE PROBLEM • SCHOOL BULLYING has many similarities to workplace bullying and domestic violence. • Bullied individuals have limited “protected status” unless they are minorities, disabled or provided special protection through state or federal law. • Bullying creates a “pressure cooker” environment that may result in violence and suicide. Source: The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullying at Work, Margaret R. Cohut, MSW.

11. BULLYING - DEFINING THE PROBLEM Bullying rarely begins with a “bang.” It tends to be a subtle process of intimidation and criticism rather than erupting in a single event. As the weeks and months go by, the bullying not only continues, but gradually intensifies to the point of being relentless. Source: The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullying at Work, Margaret R. Cohut, MSW.

12. CHARACTERISTICS OF A BULLY • A bully may be described as a person who: • Has never learned to accept responsibility for their behavior. • Unable to empathize with the victim. • Is socially immature. • Advocates and denies responsibility for their behavior and its consequences.

13. CHARACTERISTICS OF A BULLY • (continued) • Unable and unwilling to recognize the affect of their behavior on others. • Does not recognize any other way of behaving • Resistant to recognizing that there could be better ways of behavior

14. MOBBING The term “to mob” means to crowd about, attack or annoy others. Dr. Heinz-Leymann, treated Swedish victims of workplace “mobbing” for trauma at work.

15. MOBBING • Dr. Leymann defined “mobbing” his term for workplace bullying as: • Psychological terror or mobbing in the working life involves hostile and unethical communication which is directed in a systematic manner by one or more individuals, mainly toward one individual who, due to mobbing, is pushed into a helpless and defenseless position and held there by means of continuing mobbing activities.

16. MOBBING These actions occur on a very frequent basis and because of the high frequency and long duration of the hostile behavior, this maltreatment results in considerable mental, psychosomatic and social misery.

17. CYBER-BULLYING In the social media age, cyber-bullying has become much more common and can also create great psychological injury to victims.

18. HAZING Hazing describes various ritual or other activities involving harassment, abuse or humiliation used in a way of initiating a person into a group during the rushing, induction, pledging, initiation or membership process. K.S.A. 21-3434(1983) classifies the promoting or permitting of hazing as a Class B Non-Person Misdemeanor.

19. HAZING Florida A & M University Hazing Death http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/01/us/florida-am-university-students-death-turns-spotlight-on-hazing.html?pagewanted=all

20. HARASSMENT • Disruptive and uncivil behaviors can be illegal harassment. • Title IX—gender discrimination in education activities. • Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990. • Title VII—discrimination against race, color, religion, gender, or national origin. Source: The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullying at Work, Margaret R. Cohut, MSW.

21. EXAMPLES OF UNCIVIL BEHAVIORS • A dishonest, disingenuous style of dealing with people and issues. • Plays favorites. • Demands that others provide “damning” evidence against the target. • Uses lies, half truths and threats to the target. • Makes nasty, rude, hostile remarks to the target. • Breaches the target’s confidentiality and shares personal information with others. Source: Namie and Namie (2000)

22. EXAMPLES OF UNCIVIL BEHAVIORS • Constant verbal and written barrages,challenging the target’s competency, stability, sobriety, honesty and morality. • Blatant discrimination based upon age, gender, sexual preference, religion or ethnicity. • Continual violations of personal and emotional limits and boundaries, e.g., unwanted semi-sexual touching and inappropriately inviting casual or intimate relationships. Source: Namie and Namie (2000)

23. EXAMPLES OF UNCIVIL BEHAVIORS • Personal and professional exploitation, intimidation, and terrorizing of the target. • Gradual escalation of bullying behaviors, eventually creating such emotional pain for the target that self-harming behavior of some sort is likely. • Criticism of the target’s abilities. Source: Namie and Namie (2000)

24. EXAMPLES OF UNCIVIL BEHAVIORS • Threats, insults, and put-downs, sometimes publicly. • Discounting or denying the target’s accomplishments. • Exclusion of the target from information. • Yelling, swearing, name-calling and/or body language of disrespect or aggression. Source: Namie and Namie (2000)

25. EXAMPLES OF UNCIVIL BEHAVIORS • Ignoring people • Talking too loudly and disrupting a roommate or others around you. • Not responding to emails or phone calls. • Impolite conversation/talking down to someone.

26. EXAMPLES OF UNCIVIL BEHAVIORS • Rude emails or texts. • Jokes about another’s race, gender, age, disability, sexual preference or religion. • Ignoring rules (e.g. Smoking in non-smoking area). • Using cell phone text messaging during a meeting or appointment or in the middle of a conversation with someone else. • Practical jokes.

27. IMPACT ON THE TARGET • Profound feelings of confusion, fear, isolation, paranoia, embarrassment, shame, rage, guilt, depression, anxiety, lack of confidence, poor self-esteem, grief, shock, rejection, and worthlessness. • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and prolonged distress disorder (PDD). Source: Namie and Namie (2000)

28. IMPACT ON THE TARGET • Hyper-vigilance to perceived emotional threats. • Impairment in focus and concentration. • Social withdrawal and isolation. • Suicide attempts and completed suicide. Source: Namie and Namie (2000)

29. IMPACT ON THE TARGET • Substance abuse and other self-destructive habits. • Spontaneous crying. • Impairment of cognitive thinking • Inability to reason and cope with the problem. Source: Namie and Namie (2000)

30. IMPACT ON THE TARGET Physical Symptoms of Stress • Gastrointestinal problems • Muscle tension • Dizziness • Restlessness • Reduced immune system • Peptic ulcers • Eating disorders including malnutrition. • Heart palpitations • Panic attacks • High blood pressure • Tension and migraine headaches • Chronic fatigue • Anorexia • Insomnia • Nightmares Source: Namie and Namie (2000)

31. IMPACT ON THE TARGET • The Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute (WBTI), founded in 1998 by Namie and Namie, Breakdowns on Startling Statistics Regarding the Top Consequences for Bullied Targets: • Severe anxiety (94%) • Sleep disturbance (84%) • Loss of concentration (82%)

32. IMPACT ON THE TARGET • (continued) • Severe anxiety (94%) • Sleep disturbance (84%) • Loss of concentration (82%) • Feeling edgy, easily startled, PTSD (80%) • Obsession about the bullies motives and tactics (78%) • Stress headaches (64%)

33. IMPACT ON THE TARGET • (continued) • Avoidance of feelings or places (49%) • Shame or embarrassment that changed lifestyle routines (49%) • Heart palpatations (48%) • Recurrent intrusive thoughts and memories (48%) • Body aches and muscles and/or joints (43%) • Clinical depression (41%)

34. GENDER & CULTURAL ISSUES IN COMMUNICATION Many commentators believe that gender communication, bias, prejudice and stereotypes work at a subconscious level.

35. GENDER & CULTURAL ISSUES IN COMMUNICATION For example, studies show that from an early age, we are sent messages that boys and girls are different in ways that tend to reinforce stereotypes. Studies also show that girl babies are coddled much more than boy babies who tend to be wrestled around more.

36. GENDER & CULTURAL ISSUES IN COMMUNICATION In our culture, there does seem to be a tendency of women to act consistently with female stereotypes and vice-versa for men. The popular book by John Gray suggests looking at gender differences as if we come from different cultures. Source: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

37. GENDER & CULTURAL ISSUES IN COMMUNICATION • Questions of cross-culture communication , bias, prejudice and stereotypes is even more apparent when we consider racial intimidation, humiliation, or exclusion when crossing cultural lines. • In his book, Outliers, MalcomGladwell discusses ways in which cultures differ from one another. Some of the references in the book include: • Individualism/collectivism • Uncertainty avoidance • Value and weight of authority structures

38. GENDER & CULTURAL ISSUES IN COMMUNICATION One study notes that a person is more likely to be biased against another person who is different culturally and/or if the person is perceived to have lower self-esteem.

39. IF YOU ARE A TARGET If you find yourself dealing with uncivil behavior, you have options: Identify the problem There is a difference between not liking an individual and being the victim of bullying or harassment. Identifying the type of behavior will help you decide how to properly handle it.

40. HOW TO HANDLE UNCIVIL AND DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR Document the problem If you are the victim of uncivil behavior, YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM, the other person is. Do not start to believe what he or she is saying about you. You should document the incidents so that you can later present your case should you desire to do so. In your documentation of uncivil behavior, be sure to include how the incident made you feel physically and emotionally.

41. HOW TO HANDLE UNCIVIL AND DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR 3. Know Your Options Consider whether to discuss the issue with the other person. Because the person may not realize that they are behaving in a disruptive manner, an open conversation could solve the problem. Use your judgment: If you fear the confrontation will make matters worse or you know the person doesn’t care, then report the problem to someone who can intervene.

42. HOW TO HANDLE UNCIVIL AND DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR Reporting the Problem at Pittsburg State You may refer the problem to a RA, an instructor, university official or report the matter directly to the Office of Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action.

43. WHERE TO REPORT A PROBLEM You may refer the problem directly to: Office of Equal Opportunity Affirmative Action 218 Russ Hall Pittsburg State University

44. IF YOU ARE A WITNESS • The best way to determine if a friend or colleague needs assistance is simply to ask him or her in a supportive, nonjudgmental manner: “Can I help?” • Encourage the victim to talk about what is happening and how he or she feels about it. • Encourage the victim to start documenting his or her experiences.

45. IF YOU ARE A WITNESS • (continued) • Suggest that the victim seek support from professionals such as a physician, therapist or a school official. • Make it clear to the victim that he or she has the support of her friends and colleagues. • Gently remind the victim that uncivil behaviors is only the fault of the other person. • Provide positive encouragement: “I know you can do this.”

46. RESOURCES The U.S. Department of Education Office for Civil Rights offers technical assistance to develop creative approaches to preventing and addressing bullying as it relates to discrimination. http://wdcrobcolp01.ed.gov/CFAPPS/OCR/contactus.cfm

47. RESOURCES The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has launched a campaign with TIPS on how to identify and prevent bullying. Its web site features animated stories geared towards children to help them recognize bullying behavior. www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov.

48. RESOURCES The Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network offers support for schools that want to implement anti-bullying programs. www.glsen.org/bullying

49. RESOURCES The non-profit Anti-Defamation League offers tips for parents and has resources for teachers. www.adl.org/combatbullying. The non-profit WiredSafety provides tips for teens on how to navigate the internet safely and for parents on how to keep track of their kids’ web-based activities. www.wiredsafety.org.

50. RESOURCES Pacer’s National Center on Bullying Prevention focuses on children with disabilities, offers anti-bullying materials. www.pacer.org/bullying