Self-Esteem & Bullying

1. by Dan Japhet E. Abitria Self-Esteem & Bullying

2. Self-Esteem

3. What is Self-Esteem? • Self-Esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. • It is a major key to success in life. The development of a healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children.

4. High Self-Esteem will be able to… • Act independently • Assume responsibility • Take pride in his accomplishments • Tolerate frustration • Attempt new tasks and challenges • Handle positive and negative emotions • Offer assistance to others

5. Child with Low Self-Esteem will… • Avoid trying new things • Feel unloved and unwanted • Blame others for his own shortcomings • Pretend or feel emotionally indifferent • Be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration • Put down his own talents and abilities • Be easily influenced

6. No More! No more “I’m ugly.” No more “I’m fat.” No more “My parents don’t love me.” No more “I never do anything right.” No more “I’m a FREAK!” No more “I’m not important in the family.” No more “I’m stupid.” Say GOODBYE to Negative Thoughts. • And say HELLO to Positive Thoughts.

7. Who can help our children?

8. PARENTS • Parents, more than anything else can promote their child’s self-esteem. • Remember: Our words and actions have great impact on how our child feels about himself.

9. Promote SELF-ESTEEM • When you feel good about your child, mention it to him. • Practice giving “words of encouragement” throughout each day. • Very good! • I’m proud of you. • You are improving at ___ more and more. • I like the way you ___ without having to be asked. • I love you.

10. Promote SELF-ESTEEM • Be generous with phrase. • Look for situations in which your child is doing a good job or displaying a talent. • You’re a very kind person. • I like the way you clean your room this morning. • I like the way you stick with things you do even when it seems hard to do. • I really liked how you accepted my answer of “no” and didn’t lose your temper.

11. Promote SELF-ESTEEM • Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements. • I can get this problem, if I just keep trying. • It’s OK if our team lost today. We all tried our best and you can’t win them all. • It makes me feel good to help others even if the person doesn’t notice or thank me. • Teases have no power over me.

12. Promote SELF-ESTEEM • Avoid criticism that takes the form of ridicule or shame. • Use “I statements” rather than “You statements”. • Right: Mother: I would like you to keep your clothes in the proper place in your closet or drawers not lying all over your room. • Wrong: Mother: Why are you such a lazy slob? Can't you take care of anything?

13. Develop a Positive Self-Image 1. Teach children to change demands to preferences. • Point out to children that there is no reason they must get everything they want and that they need not feel angry either. • Encourage them to work against anger by setting a good example and by reinforcing them when they display appropriate irritation rather than anger.

14. Develop a Positive Self-Image 2. Ask your child questions. • This will open up a myriad of topics and interests, helping to strengthen the child-parent bond. • As interactive parents, we will encourage our children to develop their verbal skills.

15. Develop a Positive Self-Image 3.Look at your child when he or she addresses you. • So many parents don't maintain eye contact. • This is a gesture that can give the child the impression that they are not worthy of the attention. • Listen to your child when he or she speaks to you. • Really listen!

16. Develop a Positive Self-Image 4.Laugh with your children and encourage them to laugh at themselves • People who take themselves very seriously are undoubtedly decreasing their enjoyment in life. • A good sense of humor and the ability to make light of life are important ingredients for increasing one's overall enjoyment.

17. Develop a Positive Self-Image 5.Let children know they are responsible for any feeling they experience. • Likewise, they are not responsible for others’ feelings. • Avoid blaming children for how you feel.

18. Keyword: SUPPORT ♥ Encourage them to develop hobbies and interests which give them pleasure and which they can pursue independently.♥ Let children settle their own disputes between siblings and friends alike.♥ Help your children develop “tease tolerance” by pointing out that some teasing can’t hurt.♥ Help children focus on their strengths by pointing out to them all the things they can do.♥ Encourage your children to behave toward themselves the way they'd like their friends to behave toward them.

19. I Want To Build My Self-Esteem… Who can help me more? Yourself. “Me. myself. i.”

20. Remember! “I am a very special, unique, and valuable person. I deserve to feel good about myself.”

21. SELF-ESTEEM 101: Things You Can Do To Raise Your Self-Esteem 1. Pay attention to your own needs and wants. • Listen to what your body, your mind, and your heart are telling you. • For instance, if your body is telling you that you have been sitting down too long, stand up and stretch. • If your heart is longing to spend more time with a special friend, do it. • If your mind is telling you to clean up your basement, listen to your favorite music, or stop thinking bad thoughts about yourself, take those thoughts seriously.

22. SELF-ESTEEM 101: Things You Can Do To Raise Your Self-Esteem 2. Take very good care of yourself. • Eat healthy foods and avoid junk foods. • Exercise. • Take time to do things you enjoy. • Get something done that you have been putting off. • Do things that make use of your own special talents. • Dress in clothes that you feel good about yourself. • Give yourself rewards. • Spend time with people. • Do something nice for another person.

23. SELF-ESTEEM 101: Things You Can Do To Raise Your Self-Esteem 3. Stop being NEGATIVE! • What are the negative messages you keep telling about yourself? • Is this message really true? • Ask yourself: Would a person say this to another person? If not, why am I saying this to myself? • Ask yourself: What do I get out of thinking this negative thoughts? If it makes me feel bad about myself, why not stop thinking it?

24. SELF-ESTEEM 101: Things You Can Do To Raise Your Self-Esteem 4. Think POSITIVE! • Avoid using negative words. • Don't make a statement like "I am not going to worry any more." Instead say "I focus on the positive" or whatever feels right to you. • Instead replace the negative thought with the positive ones. • “I’m a valuable person.” • “I have accomplished many things.” • “I do many things as well.” • “I deserve to be happy and healthy.”

25. Practice Looking At The Mirror And Love What You See. God made you special

26. bullying

27. What is Bullying? • Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. • Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person.

28. Bullying Behavior may include… • calling them names • saying or writing nasty things about them • leaving them out of activities • not talking to them • threatening them • making them feel uncomfortable or scared • taking or damaging their things • hitting or kicking them • making them do things they don’t want to do. 

29. Bullying 101 • Bullying is NOT about children of roughly the same strength or power arguing or quarrelling or getting into the odd fight about something. • Bullying occurs when somebody who is less powerful than another person or a group is typically and repeatedly hurt without in any way deserving that treatment.

30. The children doing the bullying enjoy what they are doing and the victim is unable to avoid being bullied. Bullying 101

31. A child may be physically bullied by being continually struck or pushed around by another person or group. • There may be repeated threats of what is going to happen next. • Property may frequently be taken away or damaged. • The bullying may be verbal, as in unpleasant name-calling and constant ridicule. • A child may be bullied indirectly as happens when someone is excluded from an activity without reason or nasty rumors are spread about him. Bullying 101

32. Bullying usually takes place when other children are present. • When you see someone being bullied, what do you do? • If you acted to discourage bullying when it occurred, much of the bullying would stop. • With the help of parents and teachers, children can learn when it is safe to intervene and how they can do so. Bullying 101

33. Things you can do if you see someone being bullied: • Expressed disapproval by refusing to be amused at what is happening • Informing adults when an incident of bullying occurs • Helping to resolve conflicts between children when they arise • Offering comfort and support afterwards to a child who has been bullied Bullying 101

34. Is Bullying Good? • NO. Bullying is wrong behavior which makes the person being bullied feel afraid or uncomfortable.

38. HOW CAN YOU STOP BULLYING?

39. How parents can help the bullied child? • Be observant and notice any changes in mood and behavior • Listen sympathetically to your child. • It does not help to say “It’s the child’s problem and he must simply stand up to the bullies.” • Don’t be overprotective. • Suggest the child things to do when being picked on like not over-reacting. • Explore with the child what leads up to bullying.

40. How parents can help the child who bullies? • Parents should not assume that they are to blame for their child’s misbehavior, especially as the child gets older. • But at the same time, they should ask whether they ever model bullying behavior themselves, and whether the child is copying their behavior.

41. How parents can help the child who bullies? • Children who feel loved and not over-controlled at home are less likely to bully others. • When children start school, they experience new pressures from peers and sometimes respond by trying to dominate whoever they can by bullying them.

42. How parents can help the child who bullies? • Whatever reason, even if the child thinks it is “just fun”, parents should firmly disapprove and insist that the bullying stop. • Rather than abuse or threaten the child who engages in bullying, parents may quietly share their concern for what has been happening to the victim and firmly insist that is must not happen again.

43. Talk to your child.

44. Let’s Make A Difference.