Time Place Participants Charter Set Form Symbol System Role Relations Transformation

1. Components of a Rite of Passage • Time • Place • Participants • Charter • Set Form • Symbol System • Role Relations • Transformation

2. Marriage in Judaism as a Rite of Passage!

3. Time • Jewish marriages can take place in a synagogue or outdoors in full view of God (traditional). • All marriages are performed under a ‘chuppah’. • Most marriages take place on Sunday afternoons. Marriage is not permitted on the Sabbath or festivals.

4. Times when Marriage is not permissible • Marriage is not permissible ; • Sabbath - day of God. Jews devote themselves to prayer • Holidays(or intermediate days) • The 49 day period between Passover & Shavous – remembers a plague that killed thousands of people. • (except ‘Lag O’mer’ – the 33rd day. A very popular wedding date!) • The Three Weeks –anniversaries of the destruction of the 1st & 2nd Temples

5. Australian law permits marriage from 18 years. Old Testament laws allowed marriage for girls from 12 years. Bride Groom KallahChassan Age

6. Jewish marriage is a ‘public ceremony’ attended by family and friends. A minyan must be present for the blessings. People

7. Rabbi The role of the Rabbi is to ensure that the ceremony is performed correctly and that the couple are allowed to marry.

8. The Kallah ... • is to avoid being married while menstruating, so that consumation can take place. • is to take a ‘mikvah’ ritual bath days prior to her wedding day. • On Shabbat she is showered with blessings by friends. • to fast on the day in preparation for marriage.

9. The Chassan ... • On Shabbat before the wedding, the groom is called to the reading of the Torah. • People throw nuts, raisins • or sweets on him as a • symbol of a sweet life. This ceremony is called Arfruf. • He fasts as marriage is a solemn as well as joyful occasion. • Wears a kippah (yarmaluke) & Kittel – The Wedding Garment

10. 'Kiddushin' is • The kiddushin is composed of two distinct ceremonies: the (erusin) and nisuin (nuptials). • ‘Kiddushin the Hebrew term for marriage means ‘sanctification’ related to the word ‘kadosh’ (holy) • Marriage is the ideal human state • God’s design that there are male and female

11. 'Kiddushin' is • One woman is set apart for one man in faithfulness, loyalty and mutual respect – reflects the covenant of God and his people. • Emotional and spiritual fulfilment and sexual expression • Reunification of a ‘sundered’ soul • Ties and obligations of marriage sanctify God • To marry and have children is the first command of the Torah

12. Pre-marriage Rituals • The Chassan & Kallah are separated (for up to a week) • People visit them to wish them a Mazel Tov and blessings on building a true Jewish home. • Reading of the T’naim or marriage conditions to the Chassan, his parents and the Kallah’s parents. The document on which the T,naim are written is called a Ketubah. This is an ancient Jewish practice. • The mother’s break a plate to signify the strength required of a marriage.

13. Jewish Rite of Marriage

14. Erusin Betrothal The Betrothal ceremony has been combined in modern times with the second service Nisuin. Traditionally the two parts of the ceremony were separated by as long as a year. It is during the Erusin ceremony that the Kallah (bride) and Chatan (groom) are formally and publicly betrothed to one another.

15. Significance of the Veil - Bedekken The pre-ceremony ritual is the veiling of the Kallah (Bride). The Chatan (Groom) lowers the veil over the Kallah's face.

16. It also recalls the biblical story of Rachel and Jacob. Rachels father Laben substituted his elder daughter Leah, for Rachel. The Chatan lowers the veil over the Kallah to be sure not to make the same mistake Jacob did. Bedekken

17. Bedekken By "dressing" his Kallah with a veil, the Chatan is assured that she is the one he has chosen, and thereby sets her apart from all others.

18. The Shofar is blown to commence the ceremony. The groom is escorted to the Chupah by his parents. The Maid of Honour follows next in the procession .. The bride, is escorted by her parents (or both mothers or by her father), and joins the bridegroom who is already under the Chupah.

19. Role of the parents... The escorts carry candles, since Jewish custom associates light with joy. They stand facing the rabbi / official conducting the ceremony. Forming a square, the fathers of the couple stand on the groom’s left and the mothers on the bride’s right.

20. The Bride circles her beloved seven times, taken from Jeremiah 31:22b, "a woman shall compass (revolve around, surround) a man." Seven times is significant because of its scriptural reference of perfection and completion; Circling the Groom

21. The reference in Hosea 2:19-21 of God’s seven-fold betrothal to His people, Israel; the reference in Revelation 4:5 to the seven Spirits of God; and as a reflection of the Bride’s desire to be as the seven prophetesses of Israel: Sarah, Miriam, Deborah, Hannah, Abigail, Hilda, & Esther.

22. The position of the bride on the right side of the groom is based on an interpretation of Psalm 45:10 "the queen stands on your right hand in fine gold of ophir". In Jewish tradition the bride is a queen, and the groom a king.

23. Using poles A Jewish wedding always takes place under a … Outside Chuppah Synagogue Simple prayer shawl

24. The bridal canopy is a multifaceted symbol: it is a home, a garment, a bed covering, and a reminder of the tent of our Patriarchs. It is open on all sides to recall the tent of Abraham, who had doors on all sides of his dwelling to welcome guests. This is symbolic of the marriage coming under the Holy covering of God.  The covering represents protection, mercy, and grace. Chuppah

25. A blessing over a cup of wine is said, followed by a second blessing that reminds us of the holiness of sexuality as well as the integrity of the bonds of marriage. Both the kallah and chatan drink from the same cup of wine, accepting life's joys, as well as responsibilities. 

26. Blessing of the Bride and Groom - Mi Adir He who is supremely mighty,  He who is supremely blessed He who is supremely sublime May He bless the Groom and the Bride.

27. Lifting the Veil Groom lifts the veil to take a peek. This is  to verify that she is his wife and not another, avoiding the mistake that Jacob made with Leah.

28. The Drashnah The sermon or charge should be a personal message to the bride and groom by the Rabbi with challenges and commitments to the Holy One.

29. (Groom / Bride)______________, will you have (Bride / Groom)__________ to be your wife / husband? Will you love her, honour her / him, comfort and keep her / him, and forsaking all others remain true to her / himas long as you both shall live? "I will."

30. I, ___________ (name) take thee ___________, (partner’s name) To be my wedded wife / husband, And I do promise and covenant, Before God and these witnesses, To be thy loving and faithful husband / wife, In plenty and in want, In joy and in sorrow, In sickness and in health, As long as you both shall live. Groom / Bride repeat the vows after the celebrant.

31. The Giving of the Ring This is the crucial moment as the groom, in Orthodox Judaism, says the words, “Behold, thou art consecrated unto me by this ring, according to the Law of Moses and of Israel.”

32. In Orthodox Judaism the groom does not receive a ring. Conservative congregations follow the Orthodox form, but it is usual for the bride to give the groom a ring.

33. In Reform Judaism both the bride and groom recite the English words, “With this ring I thee wed.” The words in both formulas constitute the vows of Jewish marriage.

34. The betrothal section closes with blessings recited over a second cup of wine. In Orthodox weddings the wine glass is then wrapped in a cloth, and crushed under foot to symbolise the hardship of the Jewish people and the hardships that will inevitably befall the couple. The Cup of Wine

35. Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe who creates the fruit of the vine, the symbol of joy. Blessed are thou, O Lord, who has hallowed thy people Israel by the blessing of the marriage canopy, the Chuppah and the sacred covenant of marriage

36. In Orthodox Judaism, the Ketubah is the marriage contract. It is read in Aramaic and an English summary is often provided. The ketubah states the practical commitment of the husband to provide for his wife and assuring her of financial protection in the event of divorce or his death. Ketubah

37. The Ketubah is prepared and signed by witnesses. In the presence of 2 witnesses, the groom accepts the Ketubah by taking hold of a handkerchief given to him by the rabbi. In some Orthodox communities, the groom reads and agrees to the ketubah before the ceremony begins. Ketubah

38. In Conservative Judaism, both bride and groom often sign a simple marriage certificate, a practice that is followed in all reform congregations.

39. The groom makes the following declarations to the bride; "Be my wife according to the law of Moses and Israel and the Messiah Yeshua. I will, love, honor, and cherish you as Messiah loved the holy congregation. I will provide for you as is proper for a husband to do according to the teachings of the word of God."

40. The Bride has accepted his words and dedicated herself to him, saying; "I will respect, honor, and cherish you in the same manner as the holy congregation is to love the Messiah."

41. Nisuin The 2nd and ‘Nuptial’ stage of the Jewish marriage rite.

42. Nisuin begins with the recitation of the seven blessings, praising God for the creation of all things, of Man, and of man and woman in His image. Not only the story of creation, but also the history of Israel and its future hopes are echoed. Traditionally they are also recited at the end of a celebratory meal held in a different home for each of the seven nights following the wedding.

43. 1. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created everything for his glory. 2. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, the creator of man. 3. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created man in His image, in the pattern of His own likeness, and  provided for the perpetuation of his kind.  Blessed are You, Lord, the creator of man.

44. 4. Let the barren city be jubilantly happy and joyful at her joyous reunion with her children.  Blessed are You, Lord, who makes Zion rejoice with her children. 5. Let the loving couple be very happy, just as You made Your creation happy in the garden of Eden, so long ago.  Blessed are You, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride happy.

45. 6. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created joy and celebration, bridegroom and bride, rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship.  May there soon be heard, Lord our G-d, in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of celebration, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of a bride, the happy shouting of bridegrooms from their weddings and of young men from their feasts of song.  Blessed are You, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride rejoice together.

46. 7. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, creator of the fruit of the vine.

47. Kiddush - the 2nd blessing of the cup Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe who creates the fruit of the vine, the symbol of joy. Blessed are thou, O Lord, who has hallowed thy people Israel by the blessing of the marriage canopy, the Chuppah and the sacred covenant of marriage.

48. Confirmation of the Covenant After a man proposed marriage to a woman, in ancient Jewish culture, he poured a cup of wine and drank from it.  If she took it and drank also that signified her acceptance and she became his betrothed.

49. The Birchat HaKohanim The Lord bless you, and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift us His countenance on you, And give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26

50. The Pronouncement Ladies and Gentlemen, as witness to the covenant of marriage according to the Law of Moses and the Law of the Messiah of Israel, I would like to pronounce to you Mr. and Mrs. (Groom)____________________ , husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.