An exploration of First Nations and Gentle Teaching Values as practiced in the H.O.M.E. Society.

1. An exploration of First Nations and Gentle Teaching Valuesas practiced in the H.O.M.E. Society. Paper prepared by:Haisla First Nations Elder, Ms. Bette Tsa-me-gahl, B.Ed.HOMES Executive Director, Cam Dore M.S.W.

2. Introduction • This paper looks at the experience of the H.O.M.E. Society, an agency that serves women and men who are dually diagnosed and have a history of very Challenging Behaviors. • These women and men are cared for in community homes in mostly rural settings, in the Fraser Valley in the province of British Columbia, on the west coast of Canada. • We will focus on the similarities and outcomes made possible by uniting Gentle Teaching values with First Nations values.

3. The First Nations are the original people of the North American continent. In the past, they were referred to as North American Indians, Aboriginal People or Natives. • Gentle Teaching is based on a psychology of human interdependence. It asks caregivers to look at themselves and their spirit of gentleness and to find ways to express warmth and unconditional love towards those who are the most disenfranchised from family and community life. It views our caregiver role as critical and requires a deep commitment to personal and social change.

4. We use Gentle Teaching to teach caregivers to learn to apply consistent gentleness with those mentally challenged women and men that we support in the HOMES Comunity This paper will illustrates how we combine our First Nations ideology, culture and ceremonies with Gentle Teaching to provide the best support for those we care for.

5. Circles of Support • Circles of Support are a concept embraced by many North American Community Living organizations. • This concept means that we surround each of the people we serve with groups of individuals and services that are designed to provide the very best life-style possible. • The concept of Circles is an ideology that applies holistic understanding from the First Nations culture

6. Circles are a proven way to resolve difficult differences where no one comes out on the bottom. It is about dialogue. • Circles are formatted to fit the situation where each person talks about their values and they discover that while there are differences, there are many more similarities. • It is a way for people to connect in a good way and each participant discovers that they can live a life that is based on the concept of a Circle.

7. Circles are about long term change, they are about informal social controls that are more effective than formal controls. Circles build unity of thought in the community, they create a group mind. Circles create an environment where people share the same values. • The First Nations believe in a creation-based form of spirituality which has at its centre, the symbol of the sacred circle. It is believed that the circle represents a harmonious relationship with nature and with all living things that share our world and are our relatives and, that all things are connected and equal because there is no beginning and no end.

8. Other Circle Symbols include: - Our Mother Earth who is circular and also turns in a circle. - Medicine Wheels are holistic and esoteric teaching tools (see picture below).

9. Mentors • First Nations Elders are mentors who share their Culture and Traditions laced with their own life experience. This brings immediacy to the process and is done in a tone of respectful tenderness. • In Gentle Teaching Dr. John McGee has worked hard to establish a network of mentors throughout the world. Like First Nations Elders, all mentors are called upon to lead and teach by sharing their knowledge, skills and expertise.

10. Drumming is the symbol of the heart beat. The heart resonates in the gift of music from the Ancient Ones, • each person’s voice is seen as their vehicle of expression from the spirit world into this world. • Joining voices in a community of music raises our spirit from our human condition.

11. Dr. John McGee says that “as caregivers, we have to see the human condition as consisting of much more than observable behaviors. This mind-body-spirit assumption places us as co-participants in a process of becoming more fully human. It liberates everyone from the loneliness and self-isolation of individualism”

12. Smudging is the practice of using the smoke of a medicine in a smudge-pot. A Smudge-Pot is usually an ocean shell. Cedar, sweet-grass, sage or tobacco is piled into a smudge-pot and lit until it smokes on its own. People then take turns to “wash” their body energy with the smoke by pulling the smoke around them. • The smudge-pot is then passed to the next person who does the same procedure until everyone is smudged after which, everyone prays together and sings a sacred ceremonial song. • A warm feeling of shared interaction prevails amongst participants. New homes or rooms may also be smudged.

13. Smudging

14. All my Relations • Another First Nations concept is the idea that all persons are in relationship with the universe and with each other. • The human task is to learn how to enter into, to maintain relationships and, to do so without removing the dignity and respect of the other person. • This same concept is practiced in Gentle Teaching in that the Caregivers are asked, encouraged and supported to be in a caring relationship with those that we care for, creating a premise of companionship and friendship.

15. Both First Nations and Gentle Teaching integrate the following virtues in our daily interactions with each other and with those we support • Prayer • Respect • Compassion • Honesty • Unconditional love • Tenderness • Consistency • Reciprocity • Inclusion

16. All these virtues are practiced in the Seven Ceremonies given to the First Nations by a woman spirit sent by The Creator. • The First Nations ceremonies facilitate a sense of belonging to community. It takes a community of people who trust each other enough to rely on and depend on each other’s abiding friendship to prepare for ceremonies. • In Gentle Teaching caregivers are taught that a spirit of equality leads us to put aside ideas and perspectives that are based primarily on functional skills, independence, and individualism.

17. We need to see the person with even the severest behavioral difficulties as our own brother or sister since those most in need have the deepest, but unfilled, longing to be valued. • We need to understand that the helping process is mutual—changing and transforming ourselves as much as the person served. • We might think that we are the givers and the person with special needs is the perpetual receiver. Yet, a critical element is helping each other to both accept and reciprocate unconditional love. • The very process of reaching out to others brings wholeness and happiness

18. Circle of Friends

19. Four quadrants. (Spirit, Emotions, Body and Mind) The concept of quadrants is applied in different ceremonies to facilitate understanding. • Healing the shattered spirit is the foundation of healing the other three quadrants. Healing the emotions leads to healing the body and of course the mind follows. • Gentle Teaching focuses on four essential feelings that need to be taught to those who are served— safe, loved, loving, and engaged. Caregivers not only need to ensure that those whom they serve are safe, but, more importantly, that they feel safe

20. Dreams. When a person presents themselves to participate in a First Nations ceremony based on a dream, it opens the doors for the magic of community support to unfold. Spiritual seekers are encouraged to share their dreams with their spiritual community. • In Gentle Teaching, people who care about and for the person in care are encouraged to express their good dreams of a good life for the person cared for. • In Gentle Teaching Caregivers include those we care for in discussion about their care, they are asked about their dreams for their life.

21. Dreams – Dream Catchers • First Nations spiritual seekers are encouraged to share their dreams with their spiritual community. • In Gentle Teaching, people who care about and for the person in care are encouraged to express their good dreams of a good life for the person cared for. • When the community of friends expresses their dreams and then those dreams are given shape and form, the magic of happiness is neither left behind nor left out!

22. The journey from the head to the heart takes time, effort and, loving support. • In First Nations ceremonies we learn to trust that we are welcomed, can say what we need to breathe life into our dreams with the consistent loving support of our community, our extended family and friends. • Holistic and global spiritual teachings guide our intelligence in our journey to understanding ourselves first, then each other. • Each Caregiver person begins their journey with self discovery. • In Gentle Teaching it is the Caregiver that does their own paradigm shift; it is not the person in care.

23. A psychology of human interdependence concerns itself with the whole being—mind, body and spirit, not just observable behavior, but also the inner nature of the human condition. It focuses on the caregiver not just the marginalized person. • It is a process that breaks us from the chains of control through a coming together with those who are marginalized. • It brings us and others into a process of solidarity. But, it needs to start with our caregivers. • Caregivers are the ones who have to initiate it. • It calls for transformation of our inner lives, the way we see ourselves and others, and the recognition that unfolding interdependence is a vital and central dimension of our life-condition. It has to do with our initial recognition of our values and practices and the need for us to change before we consider others’ behaviors.

24. As you can see, and as in other paradigms, many spiritual symbols and common processes are involved in both First Nations and Gentle Teaching teachings. • The similarities reach into each other to stretch the spirit of our imagination into a unity based on acceptance, understanding, respect and unconditional love. • Every person that is involved is affected in a good way, good words are exchanged from each person’s spirit and heart, laughter and happiness are common place in Circles of Support.

25. Thank You All My Relations Thank you - All my Relations