Validation and empathy healing one relationship at a time with imago therapy
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Nova pot k ljubezni. Slovensko društvo za Imago terapijo www.imagoslovenija.net. Slovensko društvo za Imago terapijo. Validation and Empathy – Healing One Relationship at a Time with Imago Therapy. Meta Tavčar, Imago couples therapist, WSP, supervisor

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Validation and Empathy – Healing One Relationship at a Time with Imago Therapy

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Validation and empathy healing one relationship at a time with imago therapy

Nova pot k ljubezni

Slovensko društvo

za Imago terapijo

www.imagoslovenija.net

Slovensko društvo

za Imago terapijo

Validation and Empathy – Healing One Relationship at a Time with Imago Therapy

Meta Tavčar, Imago couples therapist, WSP, supervisor

Rudi Tavčar, MBA, univ. dipl. psih. Imago couples therapist, WSP

[email protected]

[email protected]

www.mirabi.org

Portorož IFTA 2009


What shall we talk about

What shall we talk about

  • Imago couples therapy basics

  • The role of Imago therapist

  • Structure of the conscious dialogue – the role of validation

  • (Demonstration of the dialogue)

  • Feedback and questions


Imago in slovenija and worldwide

Imago in Slovenija and worldwide

  • 7 Imago therapists, 2 educators, 25 in the process of education

  • 2 WSP

  • 1 Imago supervisor

  • Since Jan 2008 – Slovenian Association for Imago Therapy – www.imagoslovenija.net

  • Imago Relationships International, Harville Hendrix and Hellen La Kelly Hunt, 3000 therapists ww


Roots of imago therapy

Roots of Imago therapy

  • Psychoanalysis, TA, Gestalt, Systemic relational approach, Attachment theory, …

  • Cognitive approach, Choice theory

  • Neuroscience and neurobiology

  • Spiritual traditions of east and west


Relationship is a living being

Relationship is a living being

We are two

Our relationship is one

The needs of the relationship are above the needs of individual


Imago the imprinted picture of childhood caretakers

Imago – the imprinted picture of childhood caretakers

++--+--+


Validation and empathy healing one relationship at a time with imago therapy

Relationship is alive and is developing

Romantic

Unconscious relationship

SYMBIOSIS

Real love

Power struggle

E X I T S

Transformation

Spoznavanje

Decision


Relationship is alive and is developing

Relationship is alive and is developing

Unconscious relationship

SYMBIOSIS

POWER STRUGGLE

Romantic phase

Real love

No aliveness and connection  EXITS

Transformation

Insight


Relationship is alive and is developing1

Relationship is alive and is developing

Romantic phase

True love

Power struggle

transformation

Insight

Decision for a conscious marriage

Out of symbiosis into differentiation

DIALOGUE


Relationship is alive and is developing2

Relationship is alive and is developing

Imago

Romantic phase

True love

DIALOGUE

Unmet needs childhoud wounds

Survival strategies

Power struggle

Insight into the childhood “baggage”

transformation

Lost self


Relationship is alive and is developing3

Relationship is alive and is developing

Nezavedni odnos

SIMBIOZA

Romantc phase

True love

Power struggle

E X I T S

Spoznavanje

Decision

DIALOGUE

Transformation


Relationship is alive and is developing4

Relationship is alive and is developing

True love

Romantic phase

Boj za moč

I Z H O D I

Sprememba Prebujenje

Spoznavanje

Odločitev

DIALOG


Presumption of therapists work

Presumption of therapists’ work

  • Wounds have accrued in relationship and only in relationship they can be healed

  • Conditions for lasting change of negative behaviour:

    • Pre-validation

    • Insight and understanding of me and my partner

    • Partners validation and empathy

    • Creating of new positive habits

  • Personal rational and emotional experience with conscious dialogue that provides condition for change


The role of a therapist

The role of a therapist

  • Makes no diagnosis

  • Does not solve the conflict

  • Facilitates safe communicational place between the couple for understanding of the reason that brought to the conflict

  • Out of understanding teaches the couple to change the behaviour that results in a healthy (joyful and loving) relationship


Therapist is not a therapist

Therapist is not a therapist

Therapist is:

  • Facilitator of the process

  • Enabler and guide for the communication between the couple

  • Coach that qualifies the couple to become a “therapist” to each other


Imago tools

Imago tools

  • Concious dialogue

  • Parent – child dialogue

  • Reconstruction of frustration with behaviour change request

  • Vision

  • Re-romanticising

  • Positive flooding

Therapist in the process of the therapy teaches the couple to use these tools


Conscious dialogue the bridge from hart to hart

Conscious dialogue – the bridge from hart to hart

Visiting the partners’ “land”


Structure of imago conscious dialogue

MIRRORING

I heard you saying that..

Did I get you?

Is there more?

Summary

Is this the essence?

VALIDATION

I understand you…

and it is important …

It makes sense because…

EMAPTHY

And I imagine that you might feel…

Getting INFORMATION about the other

UNDERSTANDING the others logic without agreeing – stepping OUT OF SYBMIOSIS into DIFFERENTIATION

Emotions that provide the energy for BEHAVIOR CHANGE

Structure of Imago Conscious Dialogue


The result of the conscious marriage

The result of the conscious marriage

  • Safe connection

  • Understanding

  • Compassion

  • Recognition of the differences

  • Knowing thyself

  • Healing of the childhood wounds

  • Personal growth

  • Growth of the relationship

  • Becoming joyful adult


Www mirabi org

A New Way To Love

Slovensko društvo

za Imago terapijo

www.imagoslovenija.net

WWW.mirabi.org

Meta Tavčar, Imago couples therapist, WSP, supervisor

Rudi Tavčar, MBA, univ. dipl. psih. Imago couples therapist, WSP

[email protected]+386(0)41 705 120

[email protected] +386(0)41 726 853

www.mirabi.org

Portorož IFTA 2009


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