Reflections
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Reflections. Molly Kellogg’s Step by Step Training 2013. Open ended questions Affirmations Reflections Summaries. OARS. Why reflect? What is reflecting? When to reflect? How to use reflections effectively. OBJECTIVES. Clarity of observation is possible

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Reflections

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Reflections

Molly Kellogg’s

Step by Step Training

2013


  • Open ended questions

  • Affirmations

  • Reflections

  • Summaries

OARS


  • Why reflect?

  • What is reflecting?

  • When to reflect?

  • How to use reflections effectively

OBJECTIVES


Clarity of observation is possible

only when we are able to

suspend judgment.

…Shane Paul

x


Active listening


  • Restate what you hear

  • Make a guess about meaning and say it as a statement

What you do…


  • Reflect what we guess

  • Takes a few seconds

  • Rephrase key insights

What we do…


Mirroring


  • Body language

  • Tone of voice

  • One word

  • A phrase

  • An emotion

  • A whole concept or process

You can reflect on…


  • You really dislike spinach

  • Cooking is not fun for you

  • You’re confused about how to chose foods

  • Ice cream helps calm you down after work

Reflecting sounds like…


  • You have a very busy work schedule

  • You do want to be stronger

  • You care a lot about your kids

  • You haven’t yet found a way to do that

Reflecting sounds like…


  • Simple

  • Double-sided

  • Reflection with a reframe

  • Reflection with a twist

  • Summary

Types of reflections…


Simple


Double


Deeper reflection with a reframe or a twist


Summaries


  • After an open ended question

  • When client is thinking about change

  • When you hear ambivalence

  • When you hear strong feeling

  • When you sense resistance

When to reflect…


Open ended questions


Change talk


Ambivalence


Strong feelings


Rolling with resistance…


  • Change talk: desire, ability, reasons, need, commitment, taking steps

  • Ambivalence

  • Meaning/values/beliefs

  • Knowledge/experience

  • Short summaries

What to reflect…


Values/ beliefs


Knowledge and experience


  • Checks assumptions

  • Maximizes information exchange

  • Conveys respect and empathy

  • Highlights and encourages change talk

  • Builds rapport

  • Helps us stay client centered

What reflecting does…


  • Reminds us that almost all the answers are in the client

  • Slows down the process when stuck

  • Helps clients see and work through ambivalence

  • Helps when you don’t have a clue what to do or say

What reflecting does…


  • Statements, not questions

    • Inflection goes down at end of statement

  • Brief, short and simple

  • Frequent, more reflections than questions

  • Focused on client

Powerful reflections are…


You can't fake listening,

it shows.

…Raquel Welch

x


  • Observe what you do now

  • Choose a type of reflection to practice

  • Practice with friends and family

  • Find one new thing to reflect with each interaction

Practice reflecting…


Reflecting is something

to practice many times

until it becomes a part of

your way of being with other people.

…Molly Kellogg

Reflecting is somethingto practice many timesuntil it becomes a part ofyour way of beingwith other people.


  • Find a Partner

  • Ask: “What do you think about what was just covered with reflections?”

  • Reflect back on your partner’s response

  • Switch

Reflection Practice and Discussion


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