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Attitudes and the Spiritual Life-035 09-30-07

Attitudes and the Spiritual Life-035 09-30-07. The Enneagram and The HAM’s: Religious HAM Strategies - The 8. The 8-9-1 Strategies. The HAM (Happiness Attainment Motivator) in the lives of the 8. 9 and 1 is Religion.

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Attitudes and the Spiritual Life-035 09-30-07

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  1. Attitudes and the Spiritual Life-03509-30-07 The Enneagram and The HAM’s: Religious HAM Strategies - The 8

  2. The 8-9-1 Strategies • The HAM (Happiness Attainment Motivator) in the lives of the 8. 9 and 1 is Religion. • This religion might be a named religious belief system, an alternative to traditional religions, such as Atheism or Philosophy, or something they would never identify as “Religion”, such as Psychology or Science, • No matter what it is, it is these people, the 8, 9, and 1, who are motivated by their beliefs. LWBC 09-30-2007

  3. The 8-9-1 Strategies • Center 8-9-1 is referred to as the instinctive or gut center; they “know”. • The predominant motive in the lives of these numbers is Religion, and Anger is the primary Emotional Sin. • The anger is expressed differently in all three cases, but anger it is. • An angry Eight blocks out thinking, or thinks in caricatures; a compulsive One tends to see black and white only; and Nines tend to get fuzzy or have long rambling introductions to a point easily overlooked. LWBC 09-30-2007

  4. The 8-9-1 Strategies • They have a different approach than thinkers, they have an intuitive "gut feeling" way of making their way through life. • They can have "writer's block", or have trouble expressing themselves verbally. • Their processing of verbal or written information can be slow, but they also are often highly intuitive - making correct concrete decisions quickly and easily. LWBC 09-30-2007

  5. The 8-9-1 Strategies • They tend to be preoccupied, positively or negatively with the physical aspects of life. • Eights, for example, prefer direct, outward solutions to problems. • Nines tend to express emotions physically. • They would say "my flesh crawls" instead of "I get uneasy," and their flesh might well goosebump. LWBC 09-30-2007

  6. The 8-9-1 Strategies • Ones tend to be polarized against their own sensuality, having strong sensual urges, but denying them and getting critical of people or places that encourage sensual expression LWBC 09-30-2007

  7. The 8-9-1 Strategies • The Eight's Religious attention goes to issues of power and control, to making things happen, to protecting the weak, and to fighting Injustice. • With an intense, authoritative, and sometimes explosive energy, they are usually ready to face any challenge. • They “know” what is right and wrong, fair and unfair (Justice). LWBC 09-30-2007

  8. The 8-9-1 Strategies • The Nine's Religious attention goes to connecting with others, maintaining harmony, peace, and comfort, and avoiding conflict. • They typically enjoy the feeling of ease, harmony, and peace that they experience in nature. LWBC 09-30-2007

  9. The 8-9-1 Strategies • The One's Religious attention is Righteousness/Perfection and goes to appreciating the excellence and elegance in anything such as a shape, musical score, a piece of art or a speech; to noticing and correcting errors; to identifying and adhering to standards of perfection in thought, feeling and behavior; to acting according to what is right or wrong; and to judging and criticizing oneself and others. LWBC 09-30-2007

  10. The Eight • People of enneatype Eight are essentially unwilling to be controlled, either by others or by their circumstances; they fully intend to be masters of their fate, to "take charge," to do whatever needs to be done. • Eights are competitive, strong willed, decisive, expansive, practical, and tough minded. • They want to be the “hand of God”, or God himself, of their Religious belief system. • Remember that the 5, 6, 7 group was concerned with Power, so the 8 is the transition from Power to Religion and combines the two. LWBC 09-30-2007

  11. Self-Preservation Eights • Self-Preservation Eights most live out the Eights' need for independence through the accumulation of power, position, and, sometimes, material wealth. • That is not to say that all Self-Pres Eights are wealthy—most are not—but that this Variant seeks to have and to control whatever resources they can in order to maintain their independence and dominance. LWBC 09-30-2007

  12. Self-Preservation Eights • Thus, these Eights make shrewd business people and politicians and are extremely practical, approaching life with a tough-minded pragmatism they see as simply being "realistic." • Often private people, their home is very important to them. • Whether man or woman, the Self-Pres Eight rules the roost and is likely to control resources within the household. LWBC 09-30-2007

  13. Self-Preservation Eights • Positively, they are often excellent providers and have a way of landing on their feet no matter what life throws at them. • Trouble spots include difficulty empathizing with the needs of others, especially if they perceive others as weak or ineffectual. • Self-Pres Eights most typify the shrewd, pragmatic, wheeler-dealer aspect of this personality type. LWBC 09-30-2007

  14. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • They Lust for Life • When we turn to the Sexual subtype, also called the Relational subtype of the Eight, we see that the central concerns of the Eight are focused on one or a few persons. • Remember, the central preoccupations of the Eight are dominance, power and vengeance. • The world view is that the universe is hostile, so it's a good thing I'm strong. LWBC 09-30-2007

  15. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • I better see who is on my side in the battle, I better know who has the power and nobody is going to watch out for me, so I better watch out for myself. • But the watching out for myself is tricky. • In one sense they watch out for themselves in the sense of battling anyone who gets in their way. • They will take on any enemy, fight any battle. • In another sense, they don't take care of themselves at all; they don't nurture the soft side of themselves. • They will feed the poor and hungry and then not take care of their own health. LWBC 09-30-2007

  16. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • The reason they do this is that they project their own nurture needs onto other, take care of those others and then don't realize they have unmet nurture needs themselves.

 • Given this preoccupation with power, taking care of others, and surviving in a hostile world, what happens when this energy is focused on one person, usually the sexual partner? LWBC 09-30-2007

  17. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • They are prone to suspicion because the world is not to be trusted in general. • They often have a need to completely control and almost possess the sexual partner. • (If you possess them, then you have all the power and that's the way it has to be). • In order to get past the suspicion, they usually put the partner through a lot of tests. • Just to see what they will do: how much can I really count on them in the clutch? LWBC 09-30-2007

  18. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • After the tests are past and passed, the Eight wants utter reliability, a large amount of stability and of course, loyalty (the Social Eights want loyalty to the group, the Sexual Eight wants loyalty to the partnership). • Sometimes if the testing goes on too long, the relationship can become abrasive and lose the necessary tenderness to allow them to stay together. LWBC 09-30-2007

  19. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • If the partner can get past the tests, then the allegiance of the Sexual Eight is total, at least for long periods. • Periodic "check ups" are probably predictable.

 • The lust for life and the drive for power that are common to all Eights shows up in a desire for sexual intensity. • Eights will often pick a fight just to ratchet up the emotional temperature. • They will lose interest in a dull relationship. LWBC 09-30-2007

  20. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • Their usual style of direct forceful communication manifests itself in their physical desires also. • The word for the Eight is lust, but whereas lust in the scholastic tradition of the capital sins was sexual desire, the enneagram tradition means lust for life, a hunger for physical intensity in all areas of life and love.

 • The sexual/intimate subtype chooses partners other than sexual and bonds totally with them, too. LWBC 09-30-2007

  21. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • Sometimes the dominance theme will flip and the Eight will surrender, revealing the soft side of the personality. • This is especially common among healthier Eights. • It is like powerful dogs who bare their throats when they have had all the fighting they can take.

 • Eights, like all the anger types, have trouble thinking clearly, even when they are highly intelligent. LWBC 09-30-2007

  22. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • The fighting they initiate is in the service of truth. • They want to get at your honest feelings, your real posture in life, your values -- what you will and won't stand up for and stand for. • (A Five will observe someone, a Six will psyche them out but an Eight digs out the innards to see what's really there!) LWBC 09-30-2007

  23. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • Sexual Eights are charismatic and emotionally intense: they seem to "smolder." • These Eights seek intensity through relationship, and the ups and downs of their lives are often seen in terms of relationship. • The Sexual Eight wants to "imprint" their significant other, to leave their mark. LWBC 09-30-2007

  24. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • Whether they are dealing with love interests or are engaged in other activities, they enjoy the thrill of intense stimulation and can become addicted to adrenaline rushes. • They often adore the people they are in love with, but they can develop problems from thinking of the other as a child that they want to shape and develop. LWBC 09-30-2007

  25. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • Much of this comes from wanting the partner to be strong enough so that the Sexual Eight can relax and surrender themselves. • Thus, they may provoke their loved ones in the effort to test their strength or to build it up. • Similarly, they like to be challenged by the other, but this can deteriorate into a struggle for dominance in the relationship. LWBC 09-30-2007

  26. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • They may resort to arguments or verbal sparring as a way of stimulating intensity in the relationship. • Sexual Eights can also feel as though they "own" their intimate partner—that they have a right to satisfaction whenever they need it. LWBC 09-30-2007

  27. The Sexual (or Relational) Eight • Most of the movie sexual subtype 8’s seem to be women. • Michelle Pfeiffer plays a good Eight in the Fabulous Baker Boys, Laura San Giacomo plays a strong Sexual subtype Eight as Karen in sex, lies and videotape. • In The Last Seduction, a Sexual subtype Eight gets away with her style. LWBC 09-30-2007

  28. The Social Eight • No Middle Ground • I think it would help if we'd understand the term "identify." • We claim certain parts of our personality, we think "that's the real me." • That's what I identify with. • Other parts of our personality we shunt off to the edges of our awareness or we exclude them from our conscious consideration entirely. • Some enneagram numbers identify with one kind of experience, others with another. LWBC 09-30-2007

  29. The Social Eight • Eights have a specific kind of exclusion: they ignore the middle ground. • You are either for or against. • A fixated Eight is as close to digital thinking as anybody should get. • When you look at a photograph, you see shades of gray (in a black and white photo) and you see some things clearly, others you see but not quite as clearly (like skin blemishes or faint lines. LWBC 09-30-2007

  30. The Social Eight • If you're an Eight, the vision is more like a Peanuts cartoon - two or three bold lines gives you all the information you want: you decide right then and there whether or not the person is friend or foe, and (here's the catch), that's all that is really important. • That's all they consider. • They just need a couple of "clues" to know whether you're a good guy or bad guy and everything else sort of fades. LWBC 09-30-2007

  31. The Social Eight • Teenagers do this around style of shoes or length of hair, athletes do it with jerseys, and entranced politicians do it by slogans.

 • If they are really unhealthy, Eights under-identify with all others. • They see others as alien to them, others are the enemy -- they are sociopathic. • They have no feelings for the feelings of others. As they get a little healthier, they identify with a few people (good guys) and misidentify with most others. LWBC 09-30-2007

  32. The Social Eight • Life is conceived as a war and you have to prove you're on our side or you are presumed hostile.

 • The subtype of the Social Eight is specially prone to this. Social Eights have a secret wish that all children born into the world would be issued jerseys that would classify them as good or bad, enemies or friends. • Social Eights are right at home in any athletic contest because they love being with their friends. • And they love being against their enemies with equal gusto. LWBC 09-30-2007

  33. The Social Eight • Listen to Rush Limbaugh, who suffers from advanced Social Eightness: he wants to know - and wants to tell you - whether a person is liberal or conservative. • That label must be affixed. And if you are liberal you are all bad, if you are conservative, you are all good. LWBC 09-30-2007

  34. The Social Eight • This polarization is what attracts a large audience: he takes the vague inarticulate anger and gives it sharp focus. • This is the hallmark of the Social Eight. • They see themselves as champion of the people, knights in shining armor, leader of the resistance against evil in the world. LWBC 09-30-2007

  35. The Social Eight • Social Eights see themselves as taking care of the underdog. • (What they're really doing is projecting their own softness onto others and then taking of that in the other. "I am not in touch with my own vulnerability, so I see you as vulnerable. • Because you are so vulnerable, I have to take care of you. • Fortunately, I am strength personified without any weak chinks in my armor so I can take of you quite nicely." ) LWBC 09-30-2007

  36. The Social Eight • They overidentify with their strength and underidentify with their weaknesses. • If you've ever been up against the playground bully, you've see this dynamic in action.

 • In the recent movie, Ransom, Jimmy the kidnapper is a Social Eight. • He sees his role as champion of the poor people taking vengeance on rich guys like Mel Gibson. • He takes care of "his woman," on the other hand. • His world is good guys and bad guys. LWBC 09-30-2007

  37. The Social Eight • Sociopaths can't feel remorse for their crimes because the enemy deserved it. • Soldiers don't come home and regret bombing villages. • During that time, the world was divided into for and against and you did what you had to do. • Eights live in that world to some degree all the time. • An Eight friend may want to argue politics - fiercely - all the time. • It's really important that you see things his way because if you don't, you will become an enemy and he doesn't want that. LWBC 09-30-2007

  38. The Social Eight • As Eights get healthy they become able to admit they were wrong, which is tantamount to letting complexity and nuance into their world. • They become more concerned about holding their group together without needing an outside enemy. • They soften, they assimilate their emotional connection to Two and learn to identify with others. LWBC 09-30-2007

  39. The Social Eight • That's why the proper way to negotiate with tough Eights is always to appeal to their soft side. • If you attack, you reinforce their conviction that the world is full of enemies and you're another one of them. • If you refuse to play the enemy, you weaken this distorted world view and lessen the need for military-like emotional defense. LWBC 09-30-2007

  40. The Social Eight • Social Eights like to "live large," and as the name suggests, engage fully in the world. • Friendship and loyalty are top values for them, and they are willing to make great sacrifices for the people and causes they care about. LWBC 09-30-2007

  41. The Social Eight • At the same time, they expect that others they have bonded with will be similarly loyal to them. • (In this regard, they can resemble Sixes, although their energy is bigger and more direct than that of Sixes.) • Often, Social Eights will gather a group of friends around them while unofficially acting as the chairperson of the group—the "king" or "queen." LWBC 09-30-2007

  42. The Social Eight • They enjoy conversation about sports, politics, rock music, or the latest events on their favorite soap opera—any subject in which they can boldly state opinions and get into debates about. • Social Eights enjoy the banter and energy of a disagreement about such matters, and they are often surprised to learn that others can be hurt or overwhelmed by the force of their opinions. LWBC 09-30-2007

  43. The Social Eight • At such times, they may try to "tone themselves down," but they usually find this an uncomfortable compromise. • More often, they seek out friends who they perceive as strong and independent, people who can take a bit of roughhousing and who will not be overwhelmed by them. LWBC 09-30-2007

  44. The Social Eight • Less healthy Social Eights have problems with making promises to people that they cannot always fulfill. • Conning others, and exaggerating situations can become part of the picture. LWBC 09-30-2007

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