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“The program director and I used to talk about what was wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…. …not drag them along, but just walk with them…. …maybe a lot of them would find their way.”. – Mentor, Washington D.C., in Stand By Me.

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“The program director and I used to talk about what was wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

…not drag them along, but just walk with them…

…maybe a lot of them would find their way.”

– Mentor, Washington D.C., in Stand By Me


MENTOR wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

What does it mean to us?

Stand/Support =

Mentoring Relationship

The Picture =

Showcasing the Youth


Why? wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

“Humans seem happiest and able to deploy their talents to the best advantage when they are confident that, standing behind them there are one or more trusted persons who will come to their aid should difficulties arise.”

– Bowlby, in Herrerra, et al., 2000


African Proverb wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

A person becomes a person through other people.


MENTORING: wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

What you should know

1. The Foundation of Mentoring: The Relationship

2. Understanding The Youth

3. Understanding Your Role As A Mentor

4. Using The Program


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Any impact a mentor might have on the youth will happen through the relationship.

– Rhodes, J.E., 2002


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

The key that will open the door to a relationship between the mentor and the youth is TRUST.


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

“Remember the Titans” clip:

(titans1)


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Who do you trust?

Why do you trust them?


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

To build an effective relationship, the youth and the mentor need:

  • Mutual trust

  • Respect

  • To feel liked

  • A connection

  • Humor

  • Commitment

  • Understanding


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Effective mentor relationships are:

  • Nonjudgmental

  • Nonthreatening


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

A mentor IS a:

  • Friend

  • Cheerleader

  • Listener

  • Self esteem booster

  • Wise and trusted teacher

  • Coach

  • Link to other cultures, attitudes, and behaviors

  • Tutor

  • Role Model

– National Mentoring Partnership


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

A mentor is NOT a:

  • Savior

  • Parent

  • Therapist

  • Parole Officer

  • Cool Peer


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

"Big" clip here:

(big)


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Relationships are strengthened by EMPATHY

What is empathy?

Balance between thought and emotion:

Not becoming lost in the relationship, but also not being too distant


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Empathy does not mean telling deep dark secrets or solving the youth’s problems.


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

This relationship is not about the youth understanding you. The youth should be the focus. However, there should be respect and caring on both sides.


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

“Freak the Mighty” clip here:

(max caine2)


THE RELATIONSHIP wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

END OF RELATIONSHIP SECTION


UNDERSTANDING wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

THE YOUTH

Before you can teach me,

you have to reach me.


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Characteristics Of Youth

  • Social

  • Emotional

  • Physical

  • Mental


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Choose “Sandlot” (sandlot)

or “Simon Birch” (simon birch) clip here:


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

“Home Alone” clip here:

(home alone)


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Social Issues Facing Youth

  • Family: Economics, Lifestyle, Single Parent

  • Teen Pregnancy

  • Gangs

  • Drugs

  • Pressure: To Fit In, To Succeed

  • Eating Disorders

  • Bullies


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

“Christmas Story” clip here:

(xmas 2)


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Personal Issues

Facing Youth

  • Depression

  • Physical Appearance

  • Suicide

  • Losses

  • Identity


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

FORTY ASSETS YOUTH NEED TO SUCCEED


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

How can a mentor be an asset?

A mentor can help them connect with other adults, especially their parents.


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

How

Good mentors help the youth feel worthy of love.


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

“Shrek” clip here:

(shrek2)


“The Looking Glass Self” wrong with the world and we used to say that if somebody could just hold these kids hands sometimes…

Imagine looking into a mirror that only showed your faults (real or perceived). What would you start to believe about yourself?


If a mentor views a youth positively, they can start to change the youth’s view of herself.


What type of mirror will you be for the youth you mentor? change the youth’s view of herself.


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH change the youth’s view of herself.

“Shrek” clip here:

(shrek3)


UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH change the youth’s view of herself.

END OF UNDERSTANDING

THE YOUTH SECTION


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

“We may never achieve what we want to accomplish if we don’t have someone in our life who has already found what we are striving for.”

– Orel Hershiser


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

1000 students were asked to name their hero:

21% said no one!

4.7% = an actor

16% = a parent

3.2% = a teacher

15% = an athlete

0.7% = a business

leader

6.8% = a religious leader

0.3% = a politician

6.4% = a musician

0.2% = an activist

5.5% = a friend

The Mood of American Youth ( National Association of Secondary Schools 1996)


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

Who Was Your Role Model?


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

As a role model for your youth, there is a factor that is very important to be successful:

Not disappointing the youth.


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

“Bagger Vance” clip here:

(bagger4)


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

Role Model

Mentors can be a role model of:


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

Qualities of a good mentor

1. Advocate

2. Communication

3. Provides new experiences

4. Consistency

5. Humor

6. Empathy


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

1. ADVOCATE

Advocate: intermediary, speaker, motivator, adviser, patron, vindicator.


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

Advocate

"He tells my parents how I took every class he taught. He tells them, "You have a special boy here." Embarrassed, I look at my feet. Before we leave, I hand my professor a present, a tan briefcase with his initials on the front. I bought this the day before at a shopping mall. I didn't want to forget him. Maybe I didn't want him to forget me."

Tuesday’s With Morrie - Mitch Albom


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

2. COMMUNICATION

Good communication is based on listening.

We have two ears and one mouth so we should listen twice as much as we talk.


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

How well do you listen?


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

Good Listening Skills

Empathy


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

Good Listening Skills

Requesting Concreteness


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

Good Listening Skills

Owning Thoughts and Feelings


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

3. PROVIDING NEW EXPERIENCES

Providing New Experiences


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

The Zone of Proximal Development

A psychological stretch:

It’s beyond what a young person can do on his or her own, but within range of what he or she can do with the help or guidance of an adult.


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

“Bagger Vance” clip here:

(bagger 3)


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

What new experiences could you provide for your youth:


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

4. HUMOR

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it.

– Bill Cosby


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

“Christmas Story” clip here:

(xmas story)


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

5. EMPATHY

  • Not sympathy

  • Balance

  • Understand

  • Restate


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

6. CONSISTENCY

Consistency


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

Specific qualities that youth want in role models change. However, what they always list as the most important characteristic is consistency.


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

Make a habit of two things:

to help, or at least to do no

harm. – Hippocrates


UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR change the youth’s view of herself.

END OF UNDERSTANDING

YOUR ROLE AS A MENTOR SECTION


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

YFP Goals

  • Improve academic performance

  • Increase interpersonal skills

  • Strengthen family relationships


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

PROGRAM COMPONENTS

  • Mentoring

  • 4-H

  • Family Night Out


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

Expectations/Commitments

  • Meet once a week

  • Family Night Out - once a month

  • 4-H - once a month

  • Monthly reporting

  • Monthly training sessions


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

YFP Tools

  • Mentor Handbook

  • Youth Manual/Mentor Companion

  • Connect Curriculum

  • Bi-monthly activities planned by YFP staff

  • 4-H materials for projects


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

Your Protection

  • Insurance during, to and from all YFP activities (secondary liability)

  • Reimbursement for mileage when necessary

  • Reimbursement for out of pocket expenses (check with Site Coordinator)

  • Additional training

  • Continual staff support


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

Legal & Liability Issues

  • Confidentiality

  • Don’t take the youth to your home

  • Respect your family’s values and privacy

  • Notify parents and seek their permission for each activity or interaction

  • Be wise in planning activities

  • Exercise caution

  • Report the suspicion of the following:

    • -abuse

    • -threat of suicide

    • -threat of homicide or threat to another


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

Reports

  • Internet or hardcopy monthly report of time spent with youth

  • Yearly progress evaluation


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

Mentor Goals

  • Meet on a regular basis once a week for approximately one year.

  • Provide asset specific activities for each visit.

  • Help youth complete at least one 4-H project that has county fair involvement.

  • Bring youth to the quarterly service projects.

  • Have youth and family attend monthly FNO.

  • Become fully trained by attending monthly training sessions.


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

Who are your staff?

  • County agent:

  • Site coordinator:

  • Assistant site coordinator:


USING THE PROGRAM change the youth’s view of herself.

END OF USING THE PROGRAM SECTION


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