-A.R.M.S.- TM Abortion Recovery Mentoring Support

1. -A.R.M.S.-TMAbortion Recovery Mentoring Support -Presented by Stacy L. Massey My Vision of God… by Quyhn Thi Vidal

2. The Message Then, gathering the children up in His arms, he laid His hands of blessing on them. -Mark 10:16 (The Message) Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. -James 5:10 (The Message)

3. Workshop Notes • This workshop will be posted on the ARIN website following the conclusion of the conference. • Feel free to download this information and necessary forms.

4. Just What is Mentoring? • Mentoring helps people achieve personal success. • Mentors are caring individuals who provide: support, counsel, friendship and reinforcement. • Abortion Recovery Mentoring results in authentic empowerment, on-going healing and enhances the overall experience for both Mentee and Mentor.

5. Abortion Recovery and Mentoring? • Mentoring relationships can be very rewarding for both parties. • They provide opportunity to communicate experiences of awareness and knowledge. • Sharing stories, backgrounds, a sporting event or even a cup of coffee can alter the way we feel supported during the abortion recovery process.

6. What Makes Mentoring Work? • Conducting reasonably intensive screening of potential mentors • Making matches based on interests that both the mentor and the mentee share • Providing more than six hours of training for mentors • Offering post-match training and support.

7. Mentor’s Job Description Title: Abortion Recovery Mentor Purpose: To supporta person, negatively affected by an abortion, through the recovery process. Duties: M Motivate E Encourage N Nurture T Touch the mentees’ heart O Offer Support R Role model for Christ – BE ONE!

8. Mentor’s Qualifcations Qualifications: • A willing listener • Encouraging and supportive • Patient and flexible • Tolerant and respectful of individual/cultural differences • Committed to the relationship, abortion recovery process and time required

9. Mentor’s Committments Time Commitment: • One hour initial interview • Six hours+ of initial training in after abortion trauma issues • Two-three hours each week during the abortion recovery process for mentee/mentor communication. • Further training in related topics: sexual abuse, addictions, co-dependency, etc. • Optional mentor/mentee events and meetings

10. Benefits to Mentor • Fulfillment through contribution to the mentee and the group overall (as well as to society and community) • Satisfaction in helping someone work through the shame, guilt and grief from a past abortion • Better compassion and understanding toward those wounded by abortion • A greater insight to the different trauma abortion leaves behind • Continued steps of personal healing as they hold someone else’s hand.

11. Benefits to Mentee • A partner/couple to support their journey through the abortion recovery process. • A big sister/brother/couple who has personally experienced the trauma issues first hand. • Having a mentor who knows the expectations of the “work” required in the curriculum / bible study. • Witnesses a role model for Christ. Maybe led to the Lord if not already a Christian. • Gains networking opportunities, improved communication skills and diversity awareness.

12. Benefits to AR Center / Program • Ongoing support for women/men/couples going through the abortion recovery process. • Continues the opportunity to group members to experience expanded healing. • Creates an opportunity for “mentors” to consider assisting in the abortion recovery program as a co-leader or eventually lead their own group. • Thus an expansion of abortion recovery centers / programs within your community. Yippeee! 

13. Mentor Application Process • Fill out Mentor Application and sign Confidentiality Statement • Provide 2 written references with application • Interview with Abortion Recovery Center Director/Specialist and Volunteer Staff member/s • If selected, attend ARMS Program Orientation • Complete 6 hours of initial Mentor training

14. Sample Mentor Application

15. Sample Mentee Application

16. When Matching – Also Consider… • God’s Input • Levels of commitment • Shared areas of interest • Balanced Expectations • Mutually Respectful Relationship • Open, Two-way Communication • Conflict Resolution Strategies

17. Orientation Night • Have selected Mentors at your orientation night welcoming new abortion recovery clients. • A few Mentors should share their personal abortion story and how the recovery process changed their lives. • Match up Mentee and Mentor for a “get-to-know-you” type activity. • Share the Abortion Recovery Phone/Email List for your group at the end of your orientation night.

18. What Not to Expect… • Don’t expect the first “team” to be a good fit • If the initial relationships do not work, don’t get frustrated • Have a back-up person who can step in • Don’t expect immediate results or “bonding” • Getting to know a person is a gradual process • Don’t expect the mentee to be the main “contact person” • The mentor should be the primary “caller” in the beginning

19. You Determine The Accountability • Abortion Recovery Director, or other leadership team member needs to check in with the mentors throughout the recovery process. • It is advisable to determine a method of communication between leadership team and mentors. • Designate a leadership team member to also check in with mentees periodically.

20. Mentors at Memorial? • Consider including the mentors in the Memorial / Dedication ceremony. • Abortion Recovery clients should determine whether this is an option for their group. • ARIN believes that support group participants should design their own memorial. Mentors can attend, but should NOT plan the active group memorial / dedication ceremonies.

21. Sample Mentor Evaluation • List and explain the ways you felt prepared as a Mentor for this Abortion Recovery Class: • List and explain the ways you felt unprepared as a Mentor for this Abortion Recovery Class: • Did you feel you were able to spend enough time with your Mentee? What suggestions do you have to facilitate getting together more throughout the class? • Do you feel your relationship with your Mentee moved from a mentoring relationship to a friendship-type relationship? Explain. • Do you recommend your Mentee become a Mentor him/herself? If so, in what areas would he/she benefit others?

22. Summary: Abortion Recovery Mentoring… • M: Motivates the overall collabortion of the group setting • E Encourages both mentors and mentee • N Nutures the mentoree by coming along side • T Touches the heart of both mentor and mentee • O Offers support to leaders and mentees • R Role model for Christ

23. Thank You • Thank you for attending this workshop and any others on the Abortion Recovery tract. • We’d appreciate your support of Abortion Recovery InterNational and our affiliates. • Other ideas for steps to expand the recovery process will be listed on the ARIN website following the Heartbeat Conference.