Rebuilding Trust in Your Relationship After Sex Addiction.docx

1. RebuildingTrustin YourRelationshipAfterSex Addiction Trustisahugepartofwhatunifiespeopleinarelationship.Overtimeandthroughthe difficultiesoflife,trustcanerode.Ifapartnercheatsonanother,liesabouttheirsexualhistory, or hides addiction, it can shatter trust. When this happens, rebuilding trust in your relationship is keyto staying together. Many couples experience the devastating effects of sex addiction. Rebuilding trust in a relationship after sex addiction is a part of the recovery process if you decide to move forward together. IsRebuildingTrustPossible? Rebuilding trust after sex addiction is possible, but it requires commitment from both partners whoagree to fight for the relationship. "Rebuildingtrustaftersexaddictionispossible,butitrequiresworkfrombothpartners. The man has to be in recovery.And the woman must process her trauma related to the infidelity and feelemotionally safe in the relationship," said Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery. "There is no way to overstate the pain of learning your partner has betrayed you," he continued. "Some women feel rushed to reconcile and fix their marriages. But first, they have to give themselves time to process and heal from the shock of discoveringtheir partner's infidelity."

2. Matt said, "Boulder Recovery wants to see marriages healedand hope restored to families, but thiscan only happen when the man with sex addiction takes steps toward sobriety." LayingtheFoundationofTrust Laying the foundation of trust is a challenging process. It requires both parties to commit to makingithappen andfocusingon healinghabits likeopencommunication and intentionality. Communicationiskeyinlayingthefoundationoftrust.Youcan’trestoretrustunlessyou discuss what they want out of the relationship, how you feel about each other, and what you’ve been through. Intentional methods such as journaling or meditation can help ensure both parties are clear on what they need from each other to create an environment where there’s no confusionor misinterpretation about expectations. Intentionality means being honest about what you want from each other and genuine when asking for those things. It doesn’t mean one person should try too hard or take all the initiative. It means being honest about where you’re coming from so both people can understand their partnerwhen making decisions about therelationship. RebuildingTrustinYourRelationship If you have a sex addiction, you must fully commit to recovery and be transparent about the past before you can rebuild trust in your relationship. Once you’re in recovery and committed to leavingnegative behaviors behind, youcan work to rebuild yourrelationship.

3. Rebuildingtrustinyourrelationshiprequires: • TakingCharge of YourRecovery.Take responsibility for youractions and make yourself accountable for those actions. Avoid covering up or blaming others for your actions. Tell your partner what happened and how you will move forward. Be honest aboutyour struggles andshow a willingnessto learn fromyour mistakes. • Being Understanding. When living with addiction, your partner is experiencing pain and confusion. You may not understand what she’s going through, but validating her feelings helpsher feel supported. • Practicing TrustworthyBehavior.It can bedifficult for someone hurt by a partner to trust or believe apologies and that the addiction is in the past. If you want to help your partner rebuild trust, it’s essential to practice honesty, respect boundaries, listen without judgment,and offer emotional support. • TheRoleofPartner • Finding out that your partner has a sex addiction is a traumatic experience. It’s vital for you to process what’s happened and heal yourself before you decide to move forward with the relationship. • "Whenyour partner betrays you, you feel like your entirelife is crumbling.You feel as though you've lost your safety and question your ability to succeed in the world," Matt said. "If a large partof your relationship is a lie, you wonder what otherthings in your life are lies too." • Tomoveforwardwithyourrelationship: • HealYourTrauma.Sexaddiction is anincredibly painful experience foreveryone involved. If you want your relationship to thrive again, you must heal from the trauma of yourpartner's actions. • Determine Healthy Expectations. The goal is not to get back to where things were before your partner's addiction — it's to build something new and more whole than before. • CommunicateYour Needs.Be openabout how you feeland what you needto feel safe andsecure in the relationship again. • Be Open About Your Feelings. You must be honest about how you feel. If they ask what’s wrong, don’t skirt around the issue or give vague answers — tell them exactly what’s bothering you. This openness helps your partner understand how their actions hurtyou, which helps them makechanges. • Prepare for a Long Haul. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both parties. It may seem like there is little progress at first but remember, every step counts. Focus on buildingpositive behaviors so they becomehabits. • Focus on Your Individual Healing. It's easy to get caught up in fixing things between youand your partner. Don’t neglect your own healingprocess.

4. Keys to MaintainingTrustAfter SexAddiction Maintaining trust after sex addiction is a two-way street. You must be accountable, honest, reliable, sincere, and vulnerable. It might seem like a lot of work at first, but rebuilding trust is possibleonce you put these keys intopractice. "Victims of infidelity trauma deserveemotional health, safety, and beingheard,” Matt stated. “But they are often burdened with decisions about the future of their relationships and families while reelingfromthetraumaticdiscoveryofunfaithfulness.Thisburdenisprofoundlyunfair.While thebetrayal occurred through no fault,they deserve support and healing." GetHelpFromBoulderRecovery The foundation of any enduring relationship is trust. Sex addiction shatters trust. If both partners decide to move forward with their relationship after sex addiction, they may need help healing andrestoring that trust. Many resources are available to help support your efforts toward recovery and rebuilding your relationships. Attending a support group and joining individual or couples therapy are just a few options to help you and your partner rebuild your relationship. Contact Boulder Recoverytoday toexplore your treatment options and beginrestoring your life. Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/rebuilding-trust-in-your-relationship-after-sex-addiction/