Editing for sentence
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Editing for Sentence. Variety. You will need:. A blue marker for intro phrases A green marker for intro clauses A red , orange, or yellow marker for simple and compound sentences that are not introduced by another phrase or clause A pen or pencil to write explanations when necessary.

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You will need
You will need:

  • A blue marker for intro phrases

  • A green marker for intro clauses

  • A red, orange, or yellow marker for simple and compound sentences that are not introduced by another phrase or clause

  • A pen or pencil to write explanations when necessary


Blue for intro phrases
Blue for intro phrases

  • Read the text of the essay, minus any quotes included, and underline or highlight any intro phrases.

  • At work, Winston displays. . .

  • Understanding his role in the world, John. . .

  • To better understand human nature, Bernard studies. . .

  • From the moment of their creation, citizens of the world feel. . .

  • At the reservation, John and his mother. . .


Green for intro clauses
Green for intro clauses

  • Read the text of the essay, minus any quotes included, and underline or highlight any intro clauses.

  • When Lenina steps off of the helicopter at John’s lighthouse, she finds. . .

  • Because Bernard sees the world differently, he does not. . .

  • Until Winston pursues a relationship with Julia, he lives a life. . .


Other clause beginners
Other clause beginners

  • after, before, once, since, until, when, whenever, while

  • as, because, since

  • so that, that

  • If, even if, provided that, unless

  • although, even though, though, whereas

  • wherever

  • whether


Use red orange or yellow for
Use red, orange, or yellow for:

  • Marking simple sentences.

  • Winston waits for O’Brien’s signal.

  • Similarly, Linda’s ugliness disgusts Lenina.

  • Orwell demonstrates Winston’s ideal of the free individual.

  • Marking compound sentences:

  • Winston reads the book himself, and then he shares the book with Julia.

  • The D.H.C. explains the creation of children to the reader, and later, Mustapha Mond explains the inner workings of the government.


With the pencil or pen
With the pencil or pen. . .

  • Put an arrow by any sentence beginning word that your partner has so far that repeats another beginning word.


Now what
Now what?

  • The more green that you have, the more complex and sophisticated your writing is (in general).


What else
What else?

  • What you marked in the hot color should not take up a lot (more than 1/3 to ¼) of the writing.


And…?

  • Look at the words that begin each sentence.

  • Are you alternating kinds of beginnings?

  • Are you using a variety to words to start the beginnings?


Consider
Consider. . .

  • Making changes when you were repetitious.

  • Alternating sentence beginnings to vary the sentence structure. (Use more than just one or two sentence patterns.)

  • Combining simple sentence and their ideas into complex sentences to reflect the sophistication and complexity of your ideas.


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