REVISION: DOING IT AND TEACHING IT

1. REVISION: DOING IT AND TEACHING IT Brian Mossop June 27, 2008

2. Revision: a low-tech activity

3. Revision is reading, not writing • “People tend to turn to the computer when they need flexible tools for a writing task and turn to paper when they need flexible support for a reading task. Very often, they use both together when doing combined reading and writing tasks.” Abigail Sellen & Richard Harper, The Myth of the Paperless Office

4. Input to revision is changing New kinds of error are being generated

5. Are translators being turned into revisers?

6. Teaching revision • Workshops for professionals

7. Teaching revision to students To revise or not to revise - that is a question students with no professional experience can’t answer

8. Essential content of revision training • Learning the proper mental attitude • What am I supposed to be doing as I revise?

9. Main danger in revision workshops/courses Revision seminars are always in danger of turning into translation seminars

10. TO ERR IS HUMAN

11. Purpose of workshop • Opportunity for you to reflect on how you currently go about revising your own work or the work of others

12. Am I spotting the problems in translations? • You can’t correct a problem until you’ve noticed it!

13. Am I fixing the most serious problems? • There’s no point fixing minor problems and missing major ones. • Did you notice that a whole paragraph has been left out? That the word ‘not’ has been left out?

14. Should I change this wording or leave it? • Each change takes time (and therefore costs money). • So how do I decide whether to make a change? • Are there some principles I can use?

15. Topics • 1 How do I revise my own work? • 2 What is quality? • 3 The revision parameters • 4 Degrees of revision effort • 5 Checking procedure • 6 Correcting • 7 Correcting on screen or on paper? • 8 Conflicts of loyalty

16. Revision terminology • There is no standard terminology (terms with agreed meanings). • In English, the following verbs are used, each one having a variety of meanings: revise, review, check, re-read, proofread, edit, quality control • My definition of revision: The process of checking a translation and possibly making corrections or improvements

17. Topic 1: How do I revise my own work? • Do I have a definite procedure for revising my own translation work? Exercise 1

18. Is there a best approach to self-revision? • Is there an ideal distribution of effort between the drafting and post-drafting phases? Ref: Englund Dimitrova (Handout p.5)

19. Topic 2: What is quality? • “the totality of characteristics of an entity that bear on its ability to satisfy stated and implied needs” (ISO 8402) • “the degree to which the characteristics of a translation fulfill the requirements of the agreed-upon specifications” (ASTM F2575) • “…The translator shall check…that the defined service specifications have been met” • “…The reviser shall examine the translation for its suitability for purpose…” (EN 15038) Ref: Handout pages 5 &10

20. Quality - Suitability for purpose • Is the translation suited to its future readers? • Expert or non-expert readers? • “large vehicle fleet operator requirement”: no problem for expert readers • for non-expert: “need for people to operate a fleet of large vehicles” • Large anonymous readership or handful of known readers? • Readers are native speakers of target language or not?

21. Quality - Suitability for purpose • Is the translation suited to the way the translation will be read? • Translation will or will not be read straight through(e.g. a manual)? • Translation will be read on a sign, Web page, standing in lab, sitting at desk? • Translation will be read aloud (e.g. a speech) Public Service WORKPLACE WELLNESS WEEK Semaine du bien-être en milieu de travail DE LA FONCTION PUBLIQUE

22. Quality - Suitability for purpose • Is the translation suited to the use that will be made of it, that is, its importance? • Will it be read in order to make a decision, or will it just be read for information and discarded? • For how long will it be read? • Are there prestige/image concerns?

23. Quality - Suitability for purpose • Is the translation suited to the client? • Is client fussy? • Is the client a Very Important Person? • Do you want to keep this client?

24. Quality - Levels of quality • Levels of quality you can have in mind, given the readers and the use to be made of the translation: • 1. Intelligible translation (roughly accurate, minimal readability) • 2. Fully accurate translation (and fairly readable) • 3. Well written translation • 4. Finely crafted translation

25. Quality - fairly readable versus well written • Fairly readable draft translation: The increase in the cost of the project is attributable to several reasons, including: • Is there really a need to change it to: There are several reasons for the increase in project costs: • Tendency to aim at the highest level with every text • Quality is not absolute: different levels suited to different cases Exercise 2 - Scenario 1

26. Place of revision in creating translation quality Quality factors in ideal descending order of importance: • Training of translators • Assigning the right translator to a given text • Giving clear pre-translation instructions • Revision by a second translator

27. Place of revision in creating translation quality • Revision by a second translator should play the smallest possible role. • If a really dreadful translation has been produced, it should not be revised; it should be thrown away. • However, Translation Memory may be increasing the requirement for revision.

28. Topic 3: The revision parameters (things to check) • Transfer of meaning • Content (logic and facts) • Language and style • Presentation • Consistency Ref: Handout p.1

29. Parameters – transfer • Accuracy – a semantic parameter • Completeness – a mechanical parameter • Don’t forget to check numbers, which may be a very important part of the message

30. Parameters - content • Unlike transfer errors, content errors will be apparent to (expert) readers • Unlike transfer errors, factual and logical errors can be checked by reading the translation alone (i.e. without comparison to the source)

31. Exercise on Content Negative effects of stress • Lack of concentration • Recourse to improvisation at the expense of established procedure • Focused attention • Alternative solutions ignored • Inability to solve complex problems • Inflexibility

32. Parameters - language • Smoothness – consciously ignore for ‘intelligible’ and ‘fully accurate’ quality • Tailoring – less important with expert readers • Sub-language – correct terminology can sometimes be ignored • Idiom – some unidiomatic language allowable in ‘intelligible’ and ‘fully accurate’ quality • fire exercise - fire drill • Mechanics – ignore if there’s a proofreader (except for commas that affect meaning) Exercise 2 Scenario 2

33. Skip

34. Parameters - presentation • Layout – a check for basic neatness may suffice; leave other matters to proofreader • Typography – perhaps just check translation-related matters (e.g. italics transfered from source text which don’t make sense in the target language) • Organization – limit check to non-proofreading matters (e.g. will readers understand the acronym ZQT in section 6(b)(iii) of a manual if they are consulting that section only?)

35. Topic 4: Degree of revision effort • Check some parameters or many parameters? • Compare to source text or just read translation? • Read entire text or just parts?

36. Degree of revision effort • Will depend on: • the importance of the translation • who did the translation: • Translator’s years of experience • Translator’s experience with this kind of text • whether anyone else will be checking the translation Ref: Handout p.10

37. Degrees - Risks of comparative revision • Not a natural reading process: does not resemble the future reader’s experience. • Sense of text flow is lost: hard to identity problems of readability, inter-sentence connections and the like.

38. Degrees - Problems of comparative revision Negative effects of stress • Lack of concentration • Recourse to improvisation at the expense of established procedure • Focused attention • Alternative solutions ignored • Inability to solve complex problems • Inflexibility

39. Degrees - Risks of unilingual revision • Omissions may not be caught. • Some mistranslations may not be caught. Ref: Brunette (2005) Handout p.5

40. Degrees - Requirements of EN 15038 5.4.3 Revision: “…The reviser shall examine the translation for its suitability for purpose. This shall include, as required by the project, comparison of the source and target texts…” 5.4.2 Checking: “On completion of the initial translation, the translator shall check his/her own work. This process shall include checking that the meaning has been conveyed, that there are no omissions or errors…”

41. Degrees - Partial revision - Spot-checking • When revising others, it may be possible to spot-check: read sentence or paragraph at random spots or regular intervals, including some near end of text • Or just take a glance (read front page, or title and first paragraph) • Self-revision must never be partial: read entire text Exercise: Partial re-reading

42. Degrees - Scanning for specific parameters • “Follow your finger” looking for just one or two specific features (e.g. client’s special terminology) • Obvious risk: you miss errors in other parameters. • Even with focused reading, make sure there are no typos or missing words on the front page, in the title or in the first paragraph (first impressions!)

43. Degrees - Acceptable risk • Ultimately, the degree of revision work you do depends on the acceptability of undiscovered errors • No risk-free approach. • Spending more time on revision may not produce a better final product. Ref: Lorenzo (Handout p. 6)

44. Topic 5: Checking procedure • You can’t correct a problem until you’ve noticed it!

45. Checking procedure: will you spot the errors? • Macro-attention versus micro-attention • Attention to meaning versus attention to language and style • Depending on your own psychology, you may need to do more than one reading

46. Checking procedure: will you spot the errors? • Order of reading during comparison: source-text first or translation first? Which do you do? Do you think one of these approaches might be better?

47. Topic 6: Correcting • Keep checking and correcting separate in your mind • You may notice that a sentence is not concise, but if conciseness is not a goal, then don’t stop to make a sentence more concise • Thus: 1) spot potential problem 2) decide whether it merits change 3) make change • Think of revision as mostly reading, with just the occasional change

48. Correcting principle #1 • Default action: do nothing! • If in doubt, make no change • You may introduce an error. • First, do no harm!

49. Correcting principle #1 • Avoid perfectionism – no unnecessary changes! • Not: Can this passage be improved? • But rather: Does it need to be improved?

50. Correcting principle # 1 • A correction is necessary if, without it, the translation will not be suited to purpose.