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The Optimist’s Advantage

The Optimist’s Advantage. Kirk Wilkinson - Founder and President of The Happiness Factor kirk@thehappinessfactor.com. Circumstances. 10%. Genetics, Background & Programming. 40%. What you can control and change. 50%. Source: The How of Happiness, Sonya Lyubormirski.

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The Optimist’s Advantage

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  1. The Optimist’s Advantage Kirk Wilkinson - Founder and President of The Happiness Factor kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  2. Circumstances 10% Genetics, Background & Programming 40% What you can control and change 50% Source: The How of Happiness, Sonya Lyubormirski www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  3. Disappointment Negative thinking Emotional traps Negative meaning Blame Guilt Emotional pain Victimization Unmet expectations Self-Criticism & Self-Indictment Past experiences Ideal Gap Real www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  4. Give yourself more credit! What you do! Your roles, your net worth, your mistakes, service to others, profession, accomplishments, awards, recognition, your weight, your looks, your body, etc.. Who you are! www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  5. Managing the Gap! Ideal Drama, urgent issues, hurt feelings & being offended Gap Real www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  6. Eliminate the drama! www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  7. Managing the Gap! Ideal Unmet expectations & perfectionistic tendencies Gap Real www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  8. Learn to let go Of what you can’t control www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  9. Learning to let go • Ask yourself: • On a scale of 1 to 10 how much control do I have over this event, situation, people, outcome? • What is it that I can actually control? • On a scale of 1 to 10 how much influence do I have over the events, people, situation or outcome? • What exactly can I influence? Influence No Control Control ACTIVE PASSIVE No Influence www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  10. Managing the Gap! Ideal Negative thinking, Self-Criticism & Self-Indictment Gap Real www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  11. Don’t believe everything you think! Idiot! Shy Fat! Clown I’m so stupid Lazy! Loser I just blew it! Afraid Coward Slacker Silly I can’t do anything right Idiot Bad! Weak Who would want to love me? Failure! Fake Dumb! No one likes me! Blimp What if I make a Mistake? Geek What will they think of me? I can’t cook! Idiot Klutz! I’m ugly I say dumb things Weak Dork Sick Fat Nerd Bad www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  12. That’s not true! Because I am …..

  13. Managing the Gap! Ideal Negative experiences (present and past) Gap Real www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  14. Everything happens for a reason – • But you get to choose the reason! • Choose a reason that is personal ,significant and meaningful Own the reason! www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  15. Re-frame your past www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  16. Re-tell the stories you tell yourself! Re-tell the story you tell yourself with YOU as the hero! Same facts Same situation Different emotional outcome www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  17. Create your own golden ticket! Ideal Gap Real www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

  18. The Optimist’s Advantage • Give yourself more credit • Learn to under-react • Learn to let go of what you can’t control • Don’t believe everything you think • Learn a new inner-vocabulary • Reframe your past • Re-tell the stories you tell yourself

  19. Thank you! Kirk Wilkinson - Founder and President of The Happiness Factor kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

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