“Big Things First” October 18, 2009 www.rsmarriage.org. “Big Things” from Psalm 103. Forgiveness Know and be Known Respect & Honor, Dignity & Civility Purpose and Order Today: Boundaries--Are you willing to surrender? Oct 25: Faith and Faithfulness--Brad and Jamie
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Joint Agreements with Boundaries are empty, chaotic, and unsatisfying without the central and root ingredient of surrender, submission, subjection, and an ‘all in’ attitude toward one another…..
…..much like our faith is empty, chaotic and unsatisfying without the central and root ingredient of surrender, submission, subjection, and an ‘all in’ attitude toward God.
1. Sowing and Reaping
Our actions have consequences. Someone will bear them.
Don’t interrupt this law by regularly bailing your spouse out.
We are responsible to, not for each other.
We are to do the “one another’s”, not be one another.
We do not have power over other people.
We hardly have/allow enough power over ourselves.
If we wish our boundaries to be respected we must respect those of others.
For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
We must be free to say no before we can wholeheartedly say yes.
“Acts of love” are worthless if we don’t feel we have a choice.
We need to evaluate and consider the effects of our boundaries on others.
Hurt and harm are not the same – pain may eventually lead to growth.
Boundaries must express what you stand for, not just what you are against.
Solve problems on the basis of your values, the Word, and your shared needs.
We will never get what we need if we focus on what others have.
Envy keeps us empty and unfulfilled.
We need to take the initiative to solve our problems.
You don’t have to wait forever for your spouse to take the first step, even though maybe they should.
Boundaries must be communicated,
Otherwise they are invisible to others.
1. Re-read all the slides in this deck, all the Scripture on slide 10, and the Reading that is included in this lesson, “Self Surrender”.
2. What are some of the general boundaries in your marriages?
3. Do you know the “boundary layer conditions” of your marriage, and what is outside the “area of feasibility”?
4. What is one boundary you need to establish or strengthen in your marriage?
5. Do you know your mate’s Max Q? (the max pressure you can put on their boundaries, that when breached causes instability in your marriage)