Dating & Relationships 101: Part 2 KCC Peer Mentors will explore the impact of healthy & unhealthy relationships

1. Dating & Relationships 101: Part 2KCC Peer Mentors will explore the impact of healthy & unhealthy relationships beyond the dating stage. Sponsored by KCC Student Success Peer Mentor Program & Violence Prevention Task Force

2. The Student Success Peer Mentor Program’s mission is to navigate students through their journey to succeed at KCC in all aspects of student life, including academics, extracurricular & personal well-being. KCC’s Violence Prevention Taskforce mission is to provide prevention education & services to create a safer, more informed campus community.

3. Sun & Sky recap… Sun & Sky met on campus& felt a “connection.” They met for a casual lunch, & had a great time. Time passed, & they became partners in a romantic relationship. Around their six-month anniversary, Sun informed you that their relationship was becoming unhealthy. Sun & Sky went to counseling & support groups, & learned what makes a healthy versus unhealthy relationship. They now have been dating for one-year… Dating Violence Prevention

4. Relationship Development Unhealthy Dating Getting Out Healthy Dating Staying In Getting In BeingIn Dating Violence Prevention 4

5. _ ____ ______ ___ ____ _____ __________ ____ __ _________ ____ __ ____ _ ____ ______ ____ ____ ______ ____ __ _______ __ ___________ __ We’ll cover… • the types & definitions of Dating Violence (DV). • rates of DV in the U.S. & Hawai’i. • power & control in DV. • risk & protective factors. Dating Violence Prevention 5

6. What is Dating Violence (DV)? It is: a pattern of controlling & abusive behaviors. It can: cause injury (physical, emotional) or death. There are: several types of DV. It is: a serious issue in the U.S., including Hawai’i. Dating Violence Prevention 6

7. What does DV Look Like? • Please watch the video carefully. • Find the DV behaviors in the video. • We’ll discuss the behaviors at the end of the video. Video: “Dating Violence” Dating Violence Prevention 7

8. Types of DV: Physical • Any use of physical force to scare/intimidate &/or cause injury. • hitting or slapping • shoving or pushing • biting • choking • grabbing arms/hair • restraining Dating Violence Prevention 8

9. Types of DV: Sexual Any use of force to control, injure, &/or manipulate another person’s sexual well-being & choices. rape unwanted touching pressure to engage in sexual activity restricting access to birth control Video: “If You Could See Yourself” Dating Violence Prevention 9

10. Types of DV: Emotional • Any use of non-physical behaviors with the intent to scare, belittle, & degrade another person. • threats • insults • constant monitoring • humiliation • intimidation • forced isolation • stalking • possessiveness Video: “It’s Not Okay” Dating Violence Prevention 10

11. Types of DV: Technological • Devices • Cell phones • Computers/tablets • Cameras/video cameras • Methods • constant texting/calls • sexting • cyber stalking • misuse of social networking • Any use of technological devices to harass &/or control another person with the intent to make him/her feel uncomfortable &/or afraid. Video: “WalkieStalkie” Dating Violence Prevention 11

12. National Statistics • 21% of college students report dating violence by a current partner.C. Sellers and M. Bromley, “Violent Behavior in College Student Dating Relationships,” Journal of Contemporary Justice, (1996). • 1 in 3 college students report dating violence by a previous partner.C. Sellers and M. Bromley, “Violent Behavior in College Student Dating Relationships,” Journal of Contemporary Justice, (1996). • 90% of college women who are victims of rape or attempted rape know their assailant. Fisher, B., F. Cullen and M, Turner (2000). The Sexual Victimization of College Women. Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Justice, National Institute of Justice and Bureau of Justice Statistics. Dating Violence Prevention

13. Local Statistics (2006) Dating Violence Prevention

14. Now we’ll discuss… Power & Control Dating Violence Prevention 14

15. *Handout Adult Power & Control Wheel Dating Violence Prevention 15

16. Moving on to… risk factors using the social ecological model. protective factors using the social ecological model. Dating Violence Prevention 16

17. Risk & Protective Factors Risk Factors: circumstances or behaviors that make people more likely to experience DV. Protective Factors: circumstances or behaviors that make people less likely to experience DV. People have a combination of risk & protective factors in their lives. Dating Violence Prevention 17

18. Social Ecological Model We’re all influenced by different “levels” in the world around us. Risk & protective factors can occur at each level. Society Community School Family Friends Individual Dating Violence Prevention 18

19. Risk Factors: Dating Violence Prevention 19

20. Protective Factors: Dating Violence Prevention 20

21. Protective Factors &Healthy Relationships *Handout Healthy Relationship Wheel Dating Violence Prevention 21

22. *Handout Dating Violence Prevention 22 22

23. DV Post-Test • Dating violence _____________: • usually doesn’t cause emotional injury. • includes only harm from emotional forms of violence. • is a pattern of controlling & abusive behaviors. • D) includes only harm from physical forms of violence. Dating Violence Prevention 23

24. DV Post-Test 2. What is an example of physical DV? grabbing arms & hair logging into partner’s email account pressure to engage in sexual activity insults Dating Violence Prevention 24

25. DV Post-Test • 3. What is an example of emotional DV? • biting • touching “private parts” • humiliation • misuse of social networking sites Dating Violence Prevention 25

26. DV Post-Test 4. What is an example of sexual DV? threats constant texting shoving or pushing rape Dating Violence Prevention 26

27. DV Post-Test 5. What is an example of technological DV? restricting access to birth control choking humiliation sexting Dating Violence Prevention 27

28. DV Post-Test 6. What is the core issue in DV? power control A & B none of the above Dating Violence Prevention 28

29. DV Post-Test 7. Name ways perpetrators of DV try to control their partners. • Examples: • using physical, emotional, sexual or technological abuse • using economic abuse • using threats • using intimidation • using isolation • minimizing, denying, & blaming Dating Violence Prevention 29

30. DV Post-Test 8. Name characteristics of healthy relationships. • Examples: • non-threatening behaviors • fairness • communication • shared responsibility • respect • trust & support • independence • honesty Dating Violence Prevention 30

31. DV Post-Test 9. What is an example of a risk factor? encouraging violence lack of community resources violence in the media all of the above Dating Violence Prevention 31

32. DV Post-Test • What is an example of a protective factor? • accepting violence • laws protecting people against DV • encouraging positive & nurturing relationships • B & C Dating Violence Prevention 32

33. Sun & Sky… • Sun evaluates their relationship… • If Sun realizes that Sky is demonstrating abusive & controlling behaviors, what should Sun do? Dating Violence Prevention

34. Community Resources (refer to Emergency Contact card) • Domestic Violence Action Center 808-531-3771 • Aloha Pride Center (support for LGBTI) 808-545-2848 • Sex Abuse Treatment Center 808-524-7273 • Na Loio (legal advice for immigrants)808-847-8828 • National Domestic Violence Hotline1-800-787-3224 TTY 1-800-787-3224

35. KCC Resources • Counselors & Instructors • LGBTI Campus Contact:Melvin Jadulangmelvinj@hawaii.edu734-9017 • Confidential Peer Educator Email: peered@hawaii.edu • Campus Security:734-9900

36. Up next… Campus Awareness & Safety Workshop Today, Oct. 18, 201210:45am to 11:45am Lama 118 Presented by KCC Security Officer, Wayne Fredericks

37. Questions?  Thank you for coming! Dating Violence Prevention