Domestic Violence Awareness

1. Domestic Violence Awareness How to recognize the signs and intervene

2. Question? Have you or someone you know, ever been impacted by domestic violence ? The poll will be confidential and no one will know what you answered Mentimeter Poll

3. Prevalence • 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime. • In Pinellas County DV happens more than aggravated assault, moor vehicle theft, robbery, rape and murder COMBNED (6,228 DV offenses 2017) • Pinellas county ranks 5th out of 67 counties in Florida for most DV incidents • CASA Hotline Calls for 2018 = 4,689 • In the United States an average of 20 people experience intimate partner physical violence every minute. This equates to more than 10 million abuse victims annually. • On a typical day DV hotlines nationwide receive over 20,000 calls (NCADV)

4. Prevalence • From 2009-2016 in the U.S., there have been 156 mass shootings. In at least 54 percent of mass shootings, the perpetrator shot a current or former intimate partner or family member. These domestic violence mass shootings resulted in 422 victims being killed—more than 40 percent (181) of whom were children. A majority of these cases also ended with the perpetrators killing themselves (murder suicide). (Every town Research) • Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior • 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% are female

5. Legal Definition “Any assault, battery, sexual assault, sexual battery, kidnapping or false imprisonment or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another.”

6. Social Definition “A pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.” United States Department of Justice

7. Who Can DV Happen to ? • adolescent dating relationships (dating violence). • Heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or LGBTQ+ relationships • 50% of lesbian women have experienced or will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. • 2 out of 5 gay and bisexual men experience abusive partner relationships. • In the US women who are 16-24 experience the highest rate of relationship violence

8. Who can DV Happen to ? • across all religions, races, ethnicities, and age groups • all socioeconomic and educational levels • Intimate Partner Violence happens between people who are dating, married, separated, and divorced. • DV can happen between current and former IP but it also includes other family and household relationships

9. The Umbrella of Domestic Violence • Intimate Partner Violence (current or former partner) • Family • Household • Child Abuse • Elder Abuse • Dating Violence • Stalking / Cyber stalking

10. Anyone Victims live next door to us, go to school with us, check our groceries out, teach our children, take care of us at an emergency room…. They cross our path everyday without us knowing.

11. Who is the abuser? • Anyone regardless of age, race, religion or socioeconomic background • Usually tend to appear very charming and sweet • Manipulators and know how to present themselves • Idolization and wanting to know everything about victim • In the begging there often isn't a hint of anger or violence • Very sorry and apologetic • Over 85% of abusers are men

12. In the Beginning • One falls in love with their “soul mate” not an abuser • Abusers tend to be very charming and appear passionate. • The need to control masquerades as “wanting to take care of you” • Subtle ways to control the survivor will begging to surface

13. The Abuse Begins • One fears losing their life at the same time has fear for losing their abuser. • Survivor believes that he can change from being an abuser. • Common to try to isolate the survivor first • hide from friends, family and others in order to “cover up” the truth of your relationship. Causing the survivor to be isolated– with only him. • Domestic Violence leads to depression, PTSD, toxic stress, injuries – mental, physical & spiritual.

14. Where did it begin • Witnessing their mother or father being battered are more susceptible to developing what is called "battered women's syndrome." Both men and women who come from abusive homes may come to view the violence they have witnessed as normal, and carry it into their own relationships as adults. • Children who grow up observing their mothers being abused, especially by their fathers, grow up with a role model of intimate relationships in which one person uses intimidation and violence over the other person to get their way

15. Domestic violence is not an anger management problem or substance abuse problem • Domestic Violence is not about violence It’s about POWER & CONTROL • A feeling of superiority and the only way to do that is by constantly making the other feel inferior until one believes it.

17. “Abusive behavior can include periods of apologies, blaming, little or no communication, promises to change, and gifts. By changing methods and types of abusive behaviors the perpetrator is constantly keeping his or her partner on edge and in fear” -Dina McMillan

18. Types of Abuse • Economic abuse • Male privilege • Sexual abuse • Using the children • Coercion and threats • Physical • Intimidation • Emotional abuse • Isolation

19. Physical abuse • Biting • Restraining • Scathing • Grabbing • Arm Twisting • Burning • Poking • Hair Pulling • Punching • Slapping • Kicking • Pinching • Shaking • Pushing • Strangling

20. Intimidation • Yelling • Slamming Doors • Driving Recklessly • Displaying Weapon • Screaming • Punching Walls • Threatening Gestures • “The Look” • Hurting Pets • Throwing Items • Breaking Items • Destroying Property • Stomping

21. Emotional Abuse • Examples • Name calling or insults; mocking • Ignoring or excluding • Humiliating • Denial of the abuse and blaming of the victim • Criticize, belittle Purpose • To destroy you self worth • To diminish your sense of identity • To take away your dignity

22. Isolation Not allowing access or limiting access to: • Money • Family • Work • School • Medical Care • Phone • Car • Email • Social Life

23. Economic Abuse • 74% percent of domestic violence survivors stayed with a partner longer than they wanted to because of financial concerns • If a survivor doesn't have money for a rental deposit, a hotel room or even a bus ride, one is going to have a hard time leaving the abuser.  • Many perpetrators of domestic violence intentionally limit their victims' access to financial resources in order to trap them. • Undermines the ability to be self sufficient

24. “Male Privilege” • Treating one like a servant • Making all the big decisions • Acting like the “master of the castle” • Being the one to define men’s and women’s roles • Certain beliefs such as: • Should be in control • “Wearing the pants” • Tough, strong, have no fear, the providers, etc. • One gender is inferior • One gender should be submissive

25. Sexual Abuse • Making one wear sexually revealing clothing • Comparing one’s body to other • Making sexual comments about others • Demanding or forcing sex • Telling their partner they can get sex somewhere else if one does not sleep with him • Coercing one to have sex in a manner that is uncomfortable • Coercing one to have sex with others

26. Using the Children • Making one feel guilty abut the children • Using the children to relay messages • Using visitation to harass • Threaten to take the children away • Force the children to choose sides (telling the children bad things) • Questioning the children about the other • Coaching the children to report false abuse by the other partner

27. Coercion • Basic coercion refers to when the survivor must give in and comply with what the abuser wants; in order to have any peace or stability in the relationship, • Unsolvable conflict and disruption is used by the abuser as a punishment when the survivor does not do what the abuser wants. • Ongoing psychological behavior, rather than isolated or unconnected incidents, with the purpose of removing a victim's freedom. • Coercive control is about domination—not simply bossiness

28. Minimizing, Denying , and Blaming Downplaying the severity and effects of one's abusive behavior: Making someone else responsible for the abusive behavior. Pretending the abuse never happened.

29. Coercion is accompanied by threats. Threats signal lethality. Lethality always needs to be considered and NEVER IGNORED

30. Strangulation • Strangulation vs. Choking • Choking - Obstruction of the air passages due to a foreign body such as a piece of food • Strangulation - A form of asphyxia characterized by closure of the blood vessels and air passages of the neck as a result of external pressure on the neck • Often times there aren’t any physical signs that strangulation occurred • Victims who are strangulated are 8xmore likely to be killed than any other victim of domestic violence. • Strangulation is one of the most lethal forms of domestic violence: unconsciousness may occur within seconds and death within minutes.

31. Lethality • The most important indication of life-threatening violence is the victim’s perception of danger. If the survivor is afraid and says the abuser will kill them, then the possibility of life-threatening violence is present. • National experts on domestic violence note: “Battered women are usually the best evaluators of the potential for lethal violence because they generally have more information about the batterer than anyone other than the batterer himself"

32. Where does it end • Over half of all female homicide victims in the U.S. are killed by a current or former intimate partner. • 3 women die every day because of domestic violence. (Lethality is most likely when there is perceived loss of control over the victim through separation, divorce or the victim leaving)

33. Lethality Indicators • Stalking • A history of mental health problems • Substance abuse • History of sexual abuse of the victim or of children • Violation of a protective order • Strangulation • Separation, divorce, leaving • Extreme jealousy • An escalation of abuse • Abuse that occurs in a public place • Suicide or homicidal threats • Access to a weapon, especially a gun

34. Domestic Violence Survivors ... • Are not going to be “perfect” victims. • Often delay reporting crimes. • Experience trauma because of the violence. • Are often threatened, afraid, and reluctant. • May feel powerless to stop the violence. • May have vulnerabilities that a perpetrator will exploit.

35. Impact of DV on a Survivor • Physical and emotional health impacted • Isolation from friends and family • Difficulty meeting basic needs of self and family • Absenteeism, tardiness • Decreased concentration or job performance • Workplace interruptions

36. Look for the Red Flags • Look for signs of power and control • What started the confrontation? • “ I didn’t cook his eggs the right way • “ I didn’t make his lunch” • Survivor asked for two pieces of cheese on her burger • tried to roll down window • Sometimes the biggest insight into DV is though simple conversation and subtle statements that reflect power and control

38. Why Not Just Leave? • Incredible dangerous situation • Over 70% of DV murders happen after victim have ended relationship • It is not their fault for staying • Some victims do no realized they are being abused: “I was a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man , and I was the only person on earth who could help him face his demons” • Material and social-psychological reasons why she may stay

39. Why Not Just Leave? • Victim may stay for a variety of reasons. From the outside this may be hard to understand • “Love”: the victim feels the relationship has its good points and is not all bad • Hope: the victim hopes the relationship will change • Financial concerns or lack of resources: the victim does not have access to emergency funds or savings • Children: the victim is concerned about the well-being of her or his children • Fear: threats to kill or hurt the victim , the victim’s children , and/ or the victim’s family if she leaves

40. Leaving • “A psychological trap disguised as love” - Leslie Morgan Steiner • Leaving is often a matter of life & death • Most lethal time for victim • Loss of Power & Control – “nothing to lose” • Some studies say up to 500 times more dangerous

41. Leaving • Leaving is not an event …it’s a process • Leaving requires strategic planning & possible legal intervention • Survivor may leave but the children are still connected • It can take up to 7 times before it’s final

42. Leaving • Leaving is the most dangerous and lethal time for a survivor. • Abusers never want to give up their power & control. • Survivors leave when it’s safe. • Survivors leave when they are ready. • Survivors need a Safety Plan – whether they intend to leave or not. • Do not force someone to leave. They are the experts in their life. They will be the one to decide when they are ready to leave.

43. The Victim’s Perspective https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo&t=2s

44. Reporting • In the state of Florida we are all mandatory reporters. • Professionally mandated reporter – Anyone who is legally obligated to report known abuse and must also identify themselves when reporting.

45. Professionally Mandated Reporters • Physician, osteopathic physician, medical examiner, chiropractic physician, nurse, or hospital personnel engaged in the admission, examination, care, or treatment of persons • Health or mental health professional • Practitioner who relies solely on spiritual means for healing • School teacher or other school official or personnel • Social worker, day care center worker, or other professional child care, foster care, residential or institutional worker • Law enforcement officer • Judge • Mediators.

46. To Understand the Survivor We Must Understand Trauma • An experience that overwhelms an individual physically, mentally & emotionally • Characterized by feelings of intense fear, helplessness, and loss of control • Produces profound and lasting changes in physiological arousal, emotion, cognition, and memory. • It is determined by the individual’s perception not the size of the event…”eye of the beholder”. • Normal reaction to an abnormal event • “Prolonged exposure to repetitive or severe events is likely to cause the most severe and lasting effects.”

47. Effects of Trauma Psychological • Memory • Shame, minimizing, guilt • Anger • Disorientation • Coping methods may vary including alcohol & substances • PTSD • Hypervigilance • Anxiety • Depression Physical: • Hyper arousal • Fight, flight or freeze • Nightmares, flashbacks • May be a “numbing”…flat affect, no emotions shown, may appear almost “unaffected” • Jumpy, startles easily

48. Response to Trauma • Fight: may be angry, hostile, may curse, loud • Flight: may break appointments, be in a hurry, be late • Freeze: may have no response, may not discuss incident at all, may appear unfazed, may shrug shoulders with a “ I don’t care attitude”

49. Children • is directly correlated with difficulties learning, lower IQ scores, deficiencies in visual-motor skills and problems with attention and memory. • significantly alters a child’s DNA, aging them prematurely 7-10 years • children are physically abused or seriously neglected at a rate 1500% higher than the national average • Children are 6 times more likely to commit suicide and 50% more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol • Children are 74% more likely to commit a violent crime against someone else • Children are 3 times more likely to repeat the cycle in adulthood – most significant predictor

50. Intervention “some victims will be relived talk about it and many will deny it”