Authentic Parenting Becoming a Love and Logic Parent. Todd Jeffrey Oregon Association for Talented and Gifted. Two rules of Love and Logic. Rule #1 Adults set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lectures or threats. Rule #2
Oregon Association for Talented and Gifted
Adults set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lectures or threats.
When a child causes a problem the adult hands it back in loving ways.
Helicopters send the message:
-You are fragile.
-You need me to run interference.
-You need me to protect you.
- You can’t make it without me.
Drill Sergeants send the message:
-You can’t think.
-If have to do your thinking for you, boss you around, tell you what to do.
-You aren’t capable of making it in life.
It influences our
1. Child is not distracted by the adults anger.
2. Child must “own” his or her pain rather than blaming it on the adult.
3. Child less likely to seek revenge.
4. Child learns through modeling to use empathy with others.
5. It feels right.
1. Say, “This will teach you a good lesson.”
2. Display anger or disgust
3. Explain the value of the consequence.
5. Talk too much
6. Feel sorry and “give in”
“The whole process of education should thus be conceived as the process of learning to think through the solutions of real problems.”
“That’s not fair…….
“But dad lets me…..
“But everyone else gets to……
“You don’t love me………
“I hate you………
“I’m running away………..
“Mom, Dad, I’ve learned my lesson. I’m sorry. I will never do it again…….
I can handle it.
I am the master of my own fate
I can figure out solutions to my problems
I am not alone
People care about me
I make a difference in the world!