Sexuality Counseling
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Sexuality Counseling

By Dr. Steven Williams


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.


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Sexuality Counseling

From: Sexuality Insights and Issues, Wm. C. Brown Publishers Dubuque, Iowa. Second Edition. Greenberg, Bruess, Mullen, Sands


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From: Sexuality Insights and Issues, Wm. C. Brown Publishers Dubuque, Iowa. Second Edition. Greenberg, Bruess, Mullen, Sands


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Sexuality in the Scriptures

From: Sex for Christians by Lewis B. Smedes, Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co. Grand Rapids, MI.


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From: Sex for Christians by Lewis B. Smedes, Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co. Grand Rapids, MI.


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Personal sexuality

Gen. 1:27

Lev. 15:16-33

I Cor. 11:14-15

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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C

1:27

15:16-33

I 11:14-15

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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Gender roles

Gen. 3:20-25

I Cor. 11:1-16

Eph. 5:22-33

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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3:20-25

I . 11:1-16

5:22-33

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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Interpersonal sexuality

Lev. 18

Song of Sol. 3:5

Rom. 1:26-28

I Cor. 7:3-5

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.

Copywrite by Jerry Marcus. Reprinted by permission of Jerry Marcus and The Ladies Home Journal.


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18

3:5

1:26-28

I 7:3-5

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.

Copywrite by Jerry Marcus. Reprinted by permission of Jerry Marcus and The Ladies Home Journal.


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Sexuality in Marriage

Context:

From Sexual Understanding Before Marrage. By; Herbert J. Miles, Zondervan Books, Grand Rapids, MI.


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:

From Sexual Understanding Before Marrage. By; Herbert J. Miles, Zondervan Books, Grand Rapids, MI.


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Average age of marriage

(24 women; 26 men)

From: Pure Pleasure, by Bill & Pam Farrel and Jim & Sally Conway. InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, IL.


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(24 ; 26 )

From: Pure Pleasure, by Bill & Pam Farrel and Jim & Sally Conway. InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, IL.


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Marriage is the only

social context in society

where heterosexual activity

is totally approved

(usually required)

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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- , ( )

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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"Permanent" nature of marriage

(not easy to move in andout of)

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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( )

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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Traditional "place" of first sexual experience

(youlearned with one partner)

Only place that reproduction is totally approved

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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( )

,

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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Encouraged in Scripture

Gen. 1:23-25

Prov. 5:18-19

Song of Solomon

I Cor. 7:11-6

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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1:23-25

5:18-19

I 7:11-6

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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Differences between husband and wives on relationship of

sexual satisfaction to marital satisfaction

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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,

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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Happily married couples have intercourse six times morefrequently than they argue

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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,

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA.


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while unhappily marriedcouples argue three times more often than they engage inintercourse.

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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,

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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Good communication is the Key

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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  • Health Benefits of Regular Sexual Release:

  • Helps relieve stress

  • Slows the aging process/beauty aid

  • Helps relieve depression

  • Burns calories (30 minutes of rigorous sex

  • burns 350 calories - as good as 40 minutes

  • of jogging)

  • Aids immune system

  • Possibly helps relieve PMS symptoms in

  • women and maintains prostate health in

  • men

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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  • :

  • /

  • ( 30

  • 350 - 40 )

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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Sexuality and Aging:

- Physiological factors

- Gender differences

- Perception of one's partner

- Perception of self

- Attitudes and behavior

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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:

-

-

-

-

-

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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Causes of Sexual Problems:

- Poor communication

- Fear of rejection

- Low self-esteem

- Negative body image

- Fear of failure

- Spectatoring

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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:

-

-

-

-

-

-

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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- Repression

- Unrealistic expectations

- Resistance to change

- Relational causes

partner rejection; marital conflict;

sexual sabotage; gender role problems

**Differences in response, frequency

and variety

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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-

-

-

- :

; ;

(); ;

** ,

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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Health, Sexuality and Treatment:

Sexuality and Chronic Illness

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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, :

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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  • - mastectomy and sexuality

  • female breast cancer treatment

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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  • -

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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  • hysterectomy and sexuality

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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  • ( )

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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  • testicular cancer; prostate cancer

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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;

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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  • diabetes; spinal cord injury

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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  • ;

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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  • cardiovascular disease; stroke

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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  • - ;

From: Our Sexuality, Third Edition,Crooks and Baur,The Benjamin/Cummins Publishing Co. Inc. Menlo Park, CA.


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Common sexual dysfunctions and treatment:

Triphasic concept: (Kaplan)

Sexual response cycle:

(Desire, Arousal, Orgasm, Satisfaction)


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:

: ()

:

(, , , )


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Desire

HSD; ISD; Desire Discrepancy: Phobic avoidance


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HSD; ISD; , :


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Excitement (Arousal)

Inhibited sexual excitement (frigidity; impotency)


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(; )


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Orgasm

Premature ejaculation; Retarded ejaculation; orgasmic inhibition


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; ;


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Other problems

Vaginismus; dyspareunia


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; ( )


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Non-medical treatments usually

involve a combination of education,

redirection of sexual attention from

self to partner, and graded sexual

exposure in order to reduce anxiety

systematic desensitization;

non-demand pleasuring and self

genital pleasuring training;

Kegel exercises

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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,

,

, ;

;

- , , ;

- ( )

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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Contraception and Family Planning:

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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() :

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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Natural contraception:

Calendar method

Basal body temperature

Cervical mucous

Sympto-thermal method

Coitus interruptus

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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:

-

From: Marriages and Families. By Lamanna & Riedmann Wadsworth Publishing Co. Belmont, CA


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Techno-chemical contraception:

Condom

Spermicides

Douche

Diaphragm

Cervical cap

Pills

IUD

Surgical sterilization

RU 486 (abortion pill)

Possible future methods:

Hormone injections and implants


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:

,

, ,

,

,

,

,

,

,

RU 486 (, );

:


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Artificial reproduction:

AIH

AID

Surrogate mother

In vitro fertilization

Possible future directions:

Artificial womb

Asexual reproduction (cloning)

Eugenics


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:

AIH,

AID,

,

.

:

,

(),

.


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Nonmarital Sexuality:


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:


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Premarital Sex:


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:


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Traditionally premarital sex for

males was status raising;

for females, status lowering


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Overall, begins earlier for males


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More religious, less experience


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Increases as the extensiveness of relationship increases


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...


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Association between sexual liberalism and liberalism inother areas


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Some engage in homosexual before heterosexual


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,


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Prevalence of heterosexual

experience before marriage

in Western societies before age 20:

86-95% males; 60-80% females


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20 :

86-95% ; 60-80%


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Extramarital Sex:


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:


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Co-marital and extramarital sex:

86% believe ES to be always or almost always wrong


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:

86% ,


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Types of ES:

Flirtation

One-time affairs

Casual affairs

Intense affairs

*(can also include cybersex)


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:

*( )


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Prevalence: 1940's - 50% male and 26% female reportedES by age 40.

Since 1940's, some increase in men (50 -75%)

but large increase in women (26 -70%)

(Penn, Hernandez, & Bermudez, 1997)

(Shackelford & Buss, 1997)


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: 1940- - 50% 26% , 40- .

1940-, (50 -75%) - (26 -70%)

(Penn, Hernandez, & Bermudez, 1997)

(Shackelford & Buss, 1997)


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However, other statistics:

University of Washington - 94% of married couples hadonly one sex partner during previous year


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- :

- 94%


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Chicago's National Opinion Research Center - only 4%of married people had cheated on spouses in previous year and 21% of men and 13% of women have ever cheated on spouse (PCA Messenger; February 1994)


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- 4% 21% 13% (PCA Messenger; 1994)


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In an earlier survey, only 47% men and 37% women found ES pleasurable women reported more difficulty in reaching orgasm


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, 47% 37%


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Common reasons given for ES:

To compensate for problems in marriage

To meet needs of intimacy during periods of

geographical separation

To enjoy "sexual freedom" on equal basis

ES given as the most important reason for marital breakup (the other party, but not their own ES)


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( ):

( - , )


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Virtual Sex:


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:


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Erotic Imagery: images (real or imaged) of a

sexual nature (e.g. Kamasutra India)

Pornography: images of real people engaging in

sexually stimulating activity - purpose to arouse others

In 1973 Americans spent $10 million on pornography

as compared to $8 billion in 1997

(porn takes in more money than rock/country

music combined) porn film industry: 1,000 films in

1993 to 10,000 in year 2000

Netporn on increase Zogby Poll found 20%

of Americans patronized porn sites (no difference for

Christians and non-Christians)(Focus on the Family)


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: ( ) (- )

: ,

1973 $10 , 1997- $8

( / ) : 1,000 1993 10,000 2000

Zogby Poll, 20% - ( )

( - Focus on the Family)


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Online Sex:

  • Cyber-sex: using computerized text, images, or sound files for sexual stimulation

  • Cyber infidelity: when a partner of a committed relationship uses a computer to violate agreements of sexual exclusivity

  • Internet affair: using interactive computer chat to create exchanges for the purpose of sexually arousing oneself or others, and creating shared excitement often culminating in simultaneous mutual masturbation

  • MSNBC.com (Cooper, et.al, 2000): over 9 million users of adult websites 23% females & 50% males surfed web for visual erotica

  • Another MSNBC survey of 7000 people found 60% did not consider cyber-sex with another person to be infidelity (compared it more to pornography)


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- :

  • -: ,

  • - :

  • -: , , ,

  • MSNBC.com (Cooper, et.al, 2000): 9 23% 50%

  • MSNBC , 7000 , , 60% - ( )


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Single Life and Sex:


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:


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People remaining single longer:

1 out of 3 adults are single


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:

1 3


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Those people who had an unhappy family life as childrenwere 2-3 times more likely to be single (esp. for men)


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, , 2-3

( )


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U.S. cohabitation on the increase

1985: 2.0 million

1990: 2.9 million

1997: 4.1 million

2000: 5.5 million

inmany Western countries seen as a normal step in courtship


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1985: 2.0

1990: 2.9

1997: 4.1

2000: 5.5


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"Solo" sexually, heterosexuality, homosexuality as asingle


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" , ,


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Sexually Transmitted Diseases:

Gonorrhea; syphilis;

herpes; chlamydia;

AIDS; genital

warts; "crabs";

scabies; vaginitis


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, :

; ;

; ;

; ; "crabs"; ; .


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