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DOORWAYS TO CHANGE: LA CULTURA CURA. FERNANDO MEDEROS ALIANZA & MASSACHUSETTS DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES NOVEMBER 2006. WHAT HAVE WE TRIED WITH MEN WHO BATTER?. THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM: FOCUS ON SAFETY!!! PROTECTIVE/RESTRAINING ORDERS ARREST, INCARCERATION

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DOORWAYS TO CHANGE:LA CULTURA CURA

FERNANDO MEDEROS

ALIANZA &

MASSACHUSETTS DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES

NOVEMBER 2006


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WHAT HAVE WE TRIED WITH MEN WHO BATTER?

THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM:

FOCUS ON SAFETY!!!

  • PROTECTIVE/RESTRAINING ORDERS

  • ARREST, INCARCERATION

  • BATTERER INTERVENTION PROGRAMS WHILE ON PROBATION (DIDACTIC)

  • CHILD PROTECTION SERVICES: REMOVAL OF MAN OR CHILDREN


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EXTERNAL MOTIVATORS:

CONSEQUENCES

ESSENTIAL FOR VERY DANGEROUS & RESISTANT

CRUCIAL FOR OTHERSTABOO

ARREST, JAIL, PROBATION CONDITIONS, MONITORING

INTERNAL MOTIVATORS

RESPECT

EDUCATION  IMPACTS ON CH.

POSITIVE VISIONS  CULT, FATHERHOOD

SKILL (MAINTAINER)

INCREASE STAKE IN CONFORMITY

MULTI-LEVEL RESPONSE


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WHAT HAVE WE TRIED…FOCUS ON SAFETY!!!

POLICE:

  • ENFORCE PROTECTIVE/RESTRAINING ORDERS

  • ARREST BASED ON ASSAULT OR VIOLATION OF ORDER

  • HOLD OFFENDER IN JAIL—TIME FOR VICTIM TO GET SERVICES

  • IMPACT ON CHILDREN

    HUGE SOCIAL MESSAGE—NEW TABOO


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COURT:

 ENFORCE ORDERS

 ADJUDICATE—DUE PROCESS, PROSECUTE,

 GUILTY—CRAFT SENTENCE/ORDER THAT HOLDS OFFENDER RESPONSIBLE; CONDITIONS OF PROBATION MUST BE MET.

 BATT. INT. PROG., SUB ABUSE, STAKE IN CONFORMITY

 PERIODIC COURT REVIEW

 BE WILLING TO SURRENDER NON-COMPLIERS

HUGE SOCIAL MESSAGE—NEW TABOO


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PROBATION:

  • ENFORCE JUDGES’ ORDERS

  • EXPLAIN ORDER

  • ENSURE OFFENDERS ENROLL IN BIP, SUB ABUSE Rx, WORK/EDUCASTION

  • TOUGH LOVE COACH

  • COLLECT DATA ON COMPLIANCE, SEND OT JUDGE FOR COURT REVIEWS

  • BE WILLING TO RECOMMEND SURRENDER

    HUGE SOCIAL MESSAGE—NEW TABOO


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BIP:

  • FOCUS ON VIOLENT BEHAVIOR

  • REFRAME CONDUCT AS ABUSE

  • TEACH SKILLS FOR HEALTHY, NON-COERCIVE RELATIONSHIPS

  • USE CULTURE/FATHERHOOD AS INSPIRERS, MOTIVATORS

  • PROVIDE INFO TO PROBATION

  • BE WILLING TO TERMINATE NON-COMPLIERS

  • PARTNER, VICTIM SAFETY ISSUES

    HUGE SOCIAL MESSAGE—NEW TABOO


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OTHER PROGRAMS:

  • BE AWARE OF COLLUSION, DEMONIZING

  • WORK AS PART OF TEAM

  • PROVIDE INFO TO PROBATION

  • BECOME EDUCATED ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND GENDER ISSUES


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CHILD PROTECTION:

  • FOCUS ON BOTH PARTNERS; AVOID TENDENCY TO OVER-RELY ON THE WOMAN

  • SAFETY PLANNING FOR WOMAN/VICTIM OF VIOLENCE

  • FOCUS ON ABUSER—EXPECT CHANGE, FOCUS ON BEHAVIOR

  • DEVELOP RELATIONSHIP, USE CONNECTION TO MOTIVATE PERSON TO GET HELP/CHANGE.


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CHILD PROTECTION:

  • USE FATHERHOOD VISION TO MOTIVATE CHANGE

  • BRING IN STOPPING ABUSE AND ENDING OPPRESSIVE BEHAVIOR TOWARD PARTNER AS PART OF BEING A GOOD FATHER

  • BE ABLE TO TEACH/HELP MEN UNDERSTAND GOOD FATHERING


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MINDSET?

  • ANGER, DESIRE TO RETALIATE;

  • READY TO BLAME HER FOR EVERYTHING

  • WILL USE CULTURE OR HER BEHAVIOR AS AN EXCUSE

  • SOME REGRETS & GUILT (NOT ALL MEN FEEL REGRETS—MANY DO)

  • FEARFUL ABOUT COURT INVOLVEMENT & CPS--AFRAID OF CAUSING REMOVAL OF CHILDREN OR DEPORTATION (IMMIGRANTS)


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MINDSET…

  • THEY EXPECT TO BE VIEWED AS MONSTERS, CRAZY, CRIMINALS OR SICK PERSON, “JERK”: THAT’S VIEW IN MOST COMMUNITIES

  • VERY DEFENSIVE ABOUT ANYBODY TALKING TO THEM: “IT’S MY BUSINESS”

  • EASILY ESCALATED THROUGH DIRECT CONFRONTATION: FAMILY PAYS


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RESULT OF MINDSET

DEFENSIVEAGGRESSIVE

POSTURE

VARIED, CONTRADICTORY REACTIONS

  • DEFENSIVE & CHALLENGING

  • OPPOSITIONAL & INTIMIDATING

  • SUPERFICIAL COMPLIANCE, MAYBE CHARMING WHEN INTIMIDATED (AGREE TO THINGS THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND),

  • LOOKING FOR LOOPHOLES


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DOORWAYS TO CHANGE

  • HOW CAN WE ENTER THIS WORLD WITHOUT ANTAGONIZING THE MEN? (INCREASING RISK OR CAUSING RETALIATION AGAINST HER)

  • HOWCAN WE REACH THEM AND INSPIRE THEM?

  • WHAT AVENUES CAN WE PURSUE?


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THE HOW

SAFETY:YOURS, PARTNERS’ & CHILDREN’S

RESPECT

SHOW INTEREST:LISTENING WITHOUT AGREEMENT

AVOID DEBATE—NO DOMINANCE STRUGGLE

DON’T LABEL THE PERSON,FOCUS ON THE BEHAVIOR


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FIRST AVENUE: USING CULTURE

IT IS EASIER TO CHANGE IF YOU HELP SOMEONE TO MOVE TOWARD SOMETHING THEY KNOW AND LOVE


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FIRST AVENUE: USING CULTURE

UNDERSTAND BOTH: CULTURAL VALUES AND MODELS THAT ENABLE OR MODEL OPPRESSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

AND POSITIVE CULTURAL VALUES AND MODELS THAT SUPPORT FUNCTIONAL AND RESPECTFUL RELATIONSHIPS

USE POSITIVE CULTURAL VALUES TO INSPIRE CHANGE


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FIRST AVENUE: USING CULTURE

UNDERSTAND ASPECTS OF MANHOOD & MASCULINITY THAT ARE POSITIVE,

USE THEM TO PROMOTE CHANGE.

MAKE STATEMENTS THAT EVOKE THEM

USE FATHERHOOD AS A CORE VALUE MOST MEN HAVE POSITIVE IDEALS OF FATHERHOOD


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LATINOS: CULTURALLY BASED CHANGE

FUNDAMENTAL VALUES

  • RESPETO

  • MACHISMO:CONTRADICTORY IDEALS

  • ORGULLO -- PRIDE

  • COMPADRAZGO

  • DAR BUEN EJEMPLO – GOOD EXAMPLE


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MAN DESERVES RESPECT BECAUSE HE IS THE MAN

RESPECT BASED ON AUTHORITY AND HIERARCHY

DOES NOT HAVE TO BE EARNED

RESPECT EQUALS DEFERENCE

MAN MUST EARN RESPECT:FULFILL OBLIGATIONS

BE A GOOD PROVIDER, MEET OBLIGATIONS, GIVE GOOD EXAMPLE, RESPECT OTHERS

HAY QUE DARLE SU LUGAR A LA MUJER ‘HAVE TO RESPECT HER’

RESPETO: 2 POLES


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THE MAN AS “BOSS”, PROVIDER, SEXUAL ADVENTURER.

ORDERS WIFE.

JEALOUS.

MAINTAINS SEPARATE SPHERE WITH PEERS.

THE MAN WHO MEETS OBLIGATIONS, “RECOGIDO” “CASERO.”

TREATS WIFE MORE AS PARTNER.

EARNS RESPECT W/EXTENDED FAMILY.

MACHISMO


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ORGULLO—PRIDE

  • SENSE OF SELF-ESTEEM IN PUBLIC LIFE: VERY CENTRAL

  • VERY HARD TO ADMIT FAULT FOR MEN: LOSS OF FACE

  • CAN BE TIED TO MACHISMO OR TO THE CAPABLE MAN, (EL HOMBRE CAPAZ, EL HOMBRE EJEMPLAR, EL BUEN HOMBRE, EL HOMBRE RESPONSABLE ETC.)


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COMPADRAZGO

SPECIAL, INTIMATE, RELATIONSHIP WITH SAME SEX PEER OR ELDER

SHARE SELF, RECEIVE ADVICE

ACTS AS PROTECTIVE FACTOR—

DE-ESCALATION & PROVIDER OF CONTACTS AND RESOURCES


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SAMPLE STATEMENTS

SI LE PEGAS, DAÑAS A LA FAMILIA ENTERA

IF YOU HIT HER, YOU HURT YOUR WHOLE FAMILY

PARA GANARSE EL RESPETO, HAY QUE SABER RESPETAR. ESTA EN TUS MANOS. TO WIN RESPECT, YOU MUST PROVIDE RESPECT. IT’S IN YOUR HANDS.


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SAMPLE STATEMENTS

EL HOMBRE SE DA A CONOCER A TRAVÉS DE SU BUENA CONDUCTA Y DE SUS ACCIONES.A MAN BECOMES KNOWN THROUGH HIS GOOD BEHAVIOR AND THROUGH HIS DEEDS.

EL HOMBRE SE GANA EL RESPETO Y LA CONFIANZA DE SU PAREJA Y DE SUS HIJOS. A TRUE MAN WINS THE RESPECT OF HIS PARTNER AND HIS CHILDREN.


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SAMPLE STATEMENTS

EL HOMBRE DE VERDAD RESUELVE PROBLEMAS, NO LOS CREA... THE TRUE MAN SOLVES PROBLEMS, HE DOESN’T MAKE PROBLEMS.

EL HOMBRE DE VERDAD APRENDE A COOPERAR EN VEZ DE DOMINAR...THE TRUE MAN LEARNS TO COOPERATE/COLLABORATE, NOT TO DOMINATE.


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SECOND AVENUE: USING FATHERHOOD

FATHERHOOD IS A POWERFUL IDEAL FOR MANY MEN. THEY WANT TO BE REMEMBERED IN A GOOD WAY; THEY WANT TO DO SOMETHING GOOD, EVEN IF THEY DON’T KNOW HOW.

DOORWAYS:

TALK ABOUT EFFECTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST PARTNER ON CHILDREN

TALK ABOUT EFFECTS OF VIOLENCE ON FAMILY

EDUCATION ABOUT IMPACT OF VIOLENCE


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USING FATHERHOOD

TALK ABOUT EFFECTS ON CHILDREN:

AUNQUE NO SEAS EL PADRE, ESTA EN TUS MANOS DAR EL BUEN EJEMPLO. IT’S UP TO YOU TO GIVE A GOOD EXAMPLE EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER

EL PADRE ILUMINA EL CAMINO PARA LOS HIJOS. LO QUE TU HACES CUENTA MUCHO. THE FATHER LIGHTS THE WAY FOR THE CHILDREN. WHAT YOU DO COUNTS A LOT.

EL DOLOR DURA EN EL CORAZON. PAIN STAYS IN THE HEART


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FATHERHOOD

DAR BUEN EJEMPLO:

TU CONDUCTA ES UN EJEMPLO EN TODO LO QUE HACES. NO SON LAS PALABRAS SINO LAS ACCIONES LAS QUE CUENTAN. YOU ARE AN EXAMPLE FOR THEM IN ALL THAT YOU DO. WHAT YOU DO IS WHAT REALLY MATTERS.

CUANDO LE PEGAS A ELLA ES COMO SI LES PEGARAS A LOS NIÑOS “WHEN YOU HURT YOUR PARTNER, YOU HURT YOUR CHILDREN”


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FATHERHOOD

DAR BUEN EJEMPLO:

SE QUE QUIERES SER BUEN PADRE. I KNOW YOU WANT TO BE A GOOD FATHER.

AUNQUE NO LO CREAS, TUS HIJOS LLEVARAN RECUERDOS DE TU CONDUCTA PARA SIEMPRE. EVEN IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IT, YOUR CHILDREN WILL CARRY WHAT YOU DO FOREVER.


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FATHERHOOD

TALK ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RESPECT AND FEAR.

IF YOU BASE YOUR DISCIPLINE ON FEAR, YOU WILL TEACH THEM TO FEAR YOU AND RESENT YOU. IF YOU BASE YOUR DISCIPLINE ON BEING CLEAR ABOUT LIMITS, REASONING WITH KIDS, CONSISTENCY AND FIRMNESS, YOU TEACH THEM FAIRNESS AND GIVE A GOOD EXAMPLE.


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FATHERHOOD

EL HOMBRE SE DA A RESPETAR CON BUEN EJEMPLO, CON PACIENCIA, CON CLARIDAD Y CON AMOR. EL HOMBRE PACIENTE SABE RAZONAR CON LOS HIJOS. TAMBIEN ES RAZONABLE EN LO QUE LE EXIGE A SUS HIJOS.

A MAN EARNS RESPECT WITH GOOD EXAMPLE, WITH PATIENCE AND THROUGH CLARITY AND LOVE. THE PATIENT MAN KNOWS HOW TO REASON WITH HIS CHILDREN. HE IS ALSO REASONABLE IN WHAT HE EXPECTS THEM TO DO.


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FATHERHOOD

SI NO RESPETAS A TU PAREJA, DAÑAS A TODA LA FAMILIA.IF YOU DO NOT SHOW RESPECT FOR THEIR MOTHER, YOU HURT THEM AND WEAKEN YOUR FAMILY. TALK ABOUT HOW TO SHOW RESPECT EVEN WHEN YOU DISAGREE

SI LE FALTAS EL RESPETO Y DESTRUYES SU CAPACIDAD DE MANTENER DISCIPLINA CON LOS NIÑOS, TAMBIÉN DESTRUYES LA CAPACIDAD DE RESPETAR EN LOS NIÑOS. IF YOU DISRESPECT HER AND UNDERMINE HER DISCIPLINE, YOU DESTROY THE KIDS’ CAPACITY TO RESPECT ADULTS


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LATINOS

  • LEVELS OF DVNOT DIFFERENT FROM MAINSTREAM

  • FAMILIES

    • GET MARRIED YOUNGER

    • MORE CHILDREN

  • WORK ORIENTATION & EMPLOYMENT

  • SUBSTANCE ABUSE: EPISODIC, BINGE ON WEEKENDSDRIVE UNDER INFLUENCE, ACCIDENTS


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LATINOS

  • SUBSTANCE ABUSE: EPISODIC, BINGE ON WEEKENDSDRIVE UNDER INFLUENCE, ACCIDENTS

  • 1ST GENERATION VS. 2ND GENERATION

  • IMMIGRATION: A 2-WAY STREET & VULNERABILITY

  • OPPRESSION, RACISM, TRAUMA, EXPOSURE TO VIOLENCE, POVERTY, UNDEREMPLOYMENT, LOW ED LEVELS.


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LA CULTURA CURA

THE BAD RAP: MAINSTREAM AMERICAN BATTERERS ARE DEVIANTS, BUT “THEIRS” ARE IN THEIR CULTURAL MAINSTREAM

ALL CULTURES HAVE ELEMENTS THAT OPEN THE DOOR TO OPPRESSIVE MALE RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN & ALL CULTURES HAVE ELEMENTS THAT ARE PROTECTIVE & MODEL RESPECTFUL, NON-COERCIVE RELATIONSHIPS


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RESOURCES

www.dvalianza.org

www.idvaac.org

www.aapi.org

www.endabuse.org

www.cangleska.org


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