MONITOR

2. From monitor to manager and wEAVING BETWEEN Rules Beliefs 8 MONITOR MANAGER Consequences Fixing It

3. Teacher that made a difference

4. “They don’t care what we know until they know that we care”

5. William Glasser

7. RESTITUTION

8. Restitution Create conditions for the person to Fix their mistake and Return to the group Strengthened

9. Restitution is not a payback; it is a pay forward. • Restitution restores relationships. • Restitution is an invitation not coercion. • Restitution teaches the person to look inside. • Restitution is looking for the basic need behind the problem. • Self restitution is the most powerful tool. • Restitution is about “being” not “doing”. • Restitution strengthens. • Restitution focuses on solutions. • Restitution restores one to the group.

10. FORTUNE 500 LIST NOW 1970 Teamwork Problem Solving Interpersonal Skills Oral Communication Listening Personal/Career Development Creative Thinking Leadership Goal/Setting/Motivations Writing Organizational Effectiveness Computation Reading 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 10 12 13 4 5 6 7 8 9 1 11 2 3 Numbers 10, 12, and 13 used to be numbers 1, 2, and 3

12. ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT TRACED To teaching techniques and lesson presentations 6% To factors over which the school has no control 16% To the quality of human interaction in the school 78% Teacher’s Handbook, Discipline With Love and Logic, Cline/Fay Institute

13. Why People Behave • 1. TO AVOID PAIN. • 2. FOR RESPECT OR REWARD FROM • OTHERS. • 3. FOR RESPECT OF SELF. What will happen if I don’t do it? What do I get if I do it? Who will I be if I do it?

16. Diane Gossen: Five Positions Of Control

17. Common Discipline Styles

18. Punisher

19. Discipline Style 1: The Punisher • “Do it or else!” • Control through fear of pain (emotional or physical) • Uses: yelling, anger, sarcasm, intimidation, humiliation (often public) … • Often expedient and gives short-term gains in control

20. Discipline Style 1: The Punisher

21. Discipline Style 1: The Punisher

22. Guilter

23. Discipline Style 2: The Guilter • “Why didn’t you do what you should have” • Uses: shaming, moralizing … • Focusing on shortcomings and faults • Can lead to: hiding mistakes, blaming, denying …

24. Discipline Style 2: The Guilter

25. Discipline Style 2: The Guilter

26. Buddy

27. Discipline Style 3: The Buddy • “Do it for me” • Uses: friendship, cajoling, diverting, humor, praising, compliments … • Not harmful, but can lead to over-dependency as recipient complies for The Buddy • Recipient is not learning self-discipline, especially if The Buddy lets them “off the hook” or is overly permissive

28. Discipline Style 3: The Buddy

29. Monitor

30. Discipline Style 4: The Monitor • “You broke the rule; here’s the consequence.” • Uses: rules and consequences • Can function like a referee: applying penalties to rule violations • Monitors also reward and reinforce in positive ways

31. Discipline Style 4: The Monitor

32. Manager

33. Discipline Style 5: The Manager • “What do we believe? What’s the kind of person you want to be?” • Uses: strong relationships, shared beliefs and values (common to all stakeholders) • Development of “Social Contract” • Strengthens student by focusing on internal resources student can use to solve the problem • Intrinsically motivated

34. Discipline Style 5: The Manager

35. RULES Monitor of Consequences 1. What’s the rule? 2. What’s the consequence? 3. What did you do? 4. What happens now? BELIEFS Manager of Restitution 1. What do we believe? 2. Do you believe it? 3. If you believe it do you want to fix it? 4. If you fix it, what does it say about you?

37. William T. Powers “Humans find humans endlessly fascinating”

38. Levels of Perception System of Values “Kind of person you want to be” WHO Principles (abstract) BEING Mission/Vision/Beliefs WHY Knowledge or Program Rules/Policies/Procedures WHAT Sensory DOING Plans/T-Charts/Y-Charts When/Where/How HOW

39. Levels of Perception System of Values “Kind of person you want to be” WHO Principles (abstract) BEING Mission/Vision/Beliefs WHY MANAGER OF RESTITUTION MONITOR OF RULES Knowledge or Program Rules/Rote/Procedures WHAT DOING Patterns Sensory Plans/T-Charts/Y-Charts When/Where/How HOW

40. WEAVING BETWEEN 8 Rules Beliefs MONITOR MANAGER Consequences Fixing It If you don’t ________ I have to _________. (Give you a consequence -discomfort) I would rather _______________ (Fix it. We both get what we need) www.realrestitution.com

41. MANAGER OF RESTITUTION System of Values Principles (abstract) BEING Knowledge or Program DOING Patterns Sensory MONITOR OF RULES

42. Levels of Perception(Healing Cycle) 11. System Concepts 10. Principles 9. Programs 8. Sequences 7. Categories 6. Relationships 5. Events 4. Transitions 3. Configurations 2. Sensations 1. Intensities

43. THE HEALING CYCLE WHO *Person I Want To Be WHY *Universal Beliefs *Social Contract *Constitution WHAT *Rules and Roles *Expectations HOW *T-charts and Plan

45. WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO CHANGE? DIANE GOSSEN

46. DIFFERENCES BETWEEN CONSEQUENCES AND RESTITUTION

47. First Question???? What need is not being met and how can we meet that need? Rather than…… X How can I make this kid do what I want?

48. IDEAL SCHOOL Looks Like Friendly Sharing Neat Helping Smiles Diverse Clean Healthy Accepting FEELS LIKE Comfortable Positive Warm Supportive Strong Non-controlling Challenging Sense of Direction Risk-taking SOUNDS LIKE Laughter Discussion Pleasant Polite Positive Accepting Vigorous Dialogue

49. Restitution Thinking • What do we believe in this class? • Is what you are doing helping or hurting the class? • What would a great class look like? • What could you be doing to help? • What’s your plan to make this work for you?

50. MY JOB YOUR JOB Teacher & Student