Time of our lives

1. Images and words of women’s views of mid-life Isabel de Salis Anthropologist Ian Beesley Photographer Ian McMillan Poet Time of our lives

2. Time of our lives “I just feel stronger and better and more confident every, every year really, which is weird because I obviously am getting more frail and less strong.” “At 51 I feel better about myself than I did when I was 30.”

3. Aims Explore women’s feelings about this time of life Understand how getting older relates to the experience of menopause Look at attitudes to menopause and aging Relate these experiences to biological markers Provide a photographic record of women and their families Website, Comics, Book of Experiences, Poetry Book Time of our lives

4. “Sleep... difficult to say as I have slept so long with depression.... now I have something to stay awake for.... I sleep less... and so much more peacefully.... I guess I like having someone to sleep with...”. Timeofourlives

5. Research methods...so far Observation of Focus on Mother’s clinic Photography Project Interviews Website Time of our lives

6. “I spent the evening after I saw you dancing my socks off and have been suffering with a hip injury ever since....knew i wasn't really 25, but forgot...” Time of our lives

7. “The same as any woman I hate my legs. In my family we all live to ninety, but we have hips. Heavy hips and a long life.” “90% of people just let themselves go and just don’t worry about putting on paunches and things like that… I just want to try and remainas young as I can really and still look as [young as] I can.” Time of our lives

8. Doing the verbal fluency test: “The menopause is lovely (sardonic)” On the doorstep: “That’s the menopausal brain for you – just to give you an idea of what’s going on” In the sitting room: “So I do think, is that because I’m so busy?…. or is it my hormones?…. or a steady decline into senility?” Time of our lives

9. Time of our lives “I am more aware of my body rather than just living in my head”

10. Time of our lives “I don’t have happy dreams anymore and I did used to, I used to have erm, quite nice dreams, erm, and the odd nightmare but never these, oh end of the world type feeling dreams and that is something that has happened in the last few years”.

11. “A realisation you are mortal and things pack up. Your biological usefulness is over, you are no longer fit for purpose. ..you just accept it. When dad goes, I’m next....like I washed my dad yesterday and he used to be a really strong man like Arnie Schwarzeneggar and his arms are so thin now. And as I washed his hands I could see my own arms in his arms...I knew I was from him. And I thought how he’d declined. He was like the old elephant. We all get old and wither. It’s OK that’s just how it is...it’s natural.” Time of our lives

12. Jackie magazine “there was this sort of teenage magazine I used to always get … and I think in the Jackie Magazine world if you had a problem it would all be sorted out and saved by if you met the right man and everybody would live happily ever after…. and I think in the past I always lived as if somebody else would make it right or fate would make it right or religion or something. So I reject that now…. I suppose it is growing up and I’ve always thought that I’ve never grown up really. Time of our lives

13. “I sobbed, I sobbed all the way back [from taking her to university] And I was seriously depressed for three or four weeks. And now it’s like, almost like a love affair…. because I think oh I’m going to see her andthen all day I get really, really excited..” Time of our lives

14. Time of our lives “The house became much quieter and emptier – it was awful, your life revolves around them. Then, they are gone What are you going to do”.

15. Time of our lives “The only thing I noticed was the house was tidier. It’s not a static process,they keep coming and going in and out of your life, but it takes some getting used to”.

16. Time of our lives “We were prepared for it – Lucy had been way a number of times before. It was her entourage that we missed, all her friends coming and going –the house was suddenly so much quieter.”

17. Time of our lives “His dad can’t stand football, so I took him to his first football match City vs Rovers (Bristol) - he has been a fan ever since”.

18. Time of our lives Retirement And what would you like to do, when you said in terms of your retirement, what would you like to be doing? A good holiday! I’d like to stop working but somebody pay my wages into the bank and then I could go out and I do lady what lunches!....I could go out and I could still go shopping, I could go on nice holidays. I could go out and use that sunbed, I could go out and lie down, read books, lots of books and I wouldn’t have to finish that Masters.

19. “When I got together with my partner I just said the shop’s shut. I don’t think anything works, ever so sorry....... Well anyway, bless his heart. He opened the shop, put the awnings out, the whole bloody array of everything on display and Oh my God... I’m having a wonderful time. I’ve come alive... Now everything [reproductive] has packed up... everything is bloody good actually. Now that bit doesn’t make me feel old”. Time of our lives

20. ‘That famous HRT cake’ Makes two! 100g Soya flour 100g Whole wheat flour 100g porridge oats 100g linseeds 50 g sunflower seeds 50g pumpkin seeds 50g sesame seeds 50g flakestem ginger, finely chopped 200g raisins Approx 0.75l soya milk 1 tbs malt extract s almonds 2 pieces ½ tsp nutmeg ½ tsp cinnamon ½ tsp ground ginger Put the dry ingredients into a large bowl and mix thoroughly. Add the soya milk and malt extract. Mix well and leave to soak for about 30 mins. If the mixture is too stiff, add more soya milk. Spoon into loaf tins lined with greaseproof paper and oil. Bake in oven Gas mark 5 /190˚C for about 1¼ hours until cooked through. (Test with a skewer). Turn out and leave to cool. Delicious with butter or spread. Ideally, eat a slice a day! “You beat me to it – I was just typing out the recipe for you. (I remembered to do it without having to write myself a reminder!) Hope you like the cake!” Time of our lives