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Love and Sexual Relationships. Love. What is love (your personal definition)? Passionate Love Intense feelings, anxiety, short-lived Overlook shortcomings, self-focus Companionate Love Deep attachment, familiarity Overcome shortcomings, other-focus. Implicit theories of love.

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Love and Sexual Relationships

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Love and sexual relationships l.jpg

Love and Sexual Relationships


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Love

  • What is love (your personal definition)?

  • Passionate Love

    • Intense feelings, anxiety, short-lived

    • Overlook shortcomings, self-focus

  • Companionate Love

    • Deep attachment, familiarity

    • Overcome shortcomings, other-focus


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Implicit theories of love

  • Developed unconsciously, over time

    • Powerful

    • Unchallenged

    • Defaults

  • Sources of implicit theories of love

    • Parents

    • Peers

    • Media

      • Music, T.V., Movies, etc.


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Analysis of a love song

Students to analyze one of 9 songs:

  • Truly, madly, deeply (Savage Garden)

  • Drowning (Backstreet Boys)

  • My heart will go on (Celine Dion)

  • From this moment on (Shania Twain)

  • 2 become 1 (Spice Girls)

  • Commitment (LeAnn Rimes)

  • As long as you love me (Backstreet Boys)

  • Unchained Melody (Righteous Brothers)

  • Drops of Jupiter (Train)


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Themes in North American Love Songs

  • Loss of control

  • Love lasts forever

  • Complete dependency on other person

  • Love solves all problems

  • “The one” – there is only one love for each

  • Connectedness, even when not together


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Chinese Love Songs (Tothbaum & Tsang, 1998)

  • Collectivism vs Individualism

  • Independent vs Interdependent

  • Chinese vs North American Love Songs

    • Embeddedness 79% vs 39%

      • Embedded in natural world 43% vs 16%

      • Embedded in Relationship 55% vs 26%

    • Negative expectations for relationship

      • 69% vs 37%

      • Suffering expected: 69% to 47%

    • Intensity and Desire were similar across cultures

  • Chinese values of loyalty, devotion, commitment

  • Taoist yuan, futility of strivings


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Models of Love

Sternberg’s Triangular Model

  • Passion

  • Intimacy

  • Commitment

    Lee’s Styles of Loving

    Biochemistry

  • PEA, norepinephrine, dopamine  giddy, brief

  • Endorphins  soothing, pain relief, long-term


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