Marrying
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Marrying. Finding a Life Partner. What qualities do people look for in a marriage partner?. Good companion Considerate Honest Affectionate Dependable Intelligent Kind Understanding Interesting to talk to Loyal. What are the steps to take to marriage?. Cohabitation. Many think

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Marrying

Marrying

Finding a Life Partner


What qualities do people look for in a marriage partner
What qualities do people look for in a marriage partner?

  • Good companion

  • Considerate

  • Honest

  • Affectionate

  • Dependable

  • Intelligent

  • Kind

  • Understanding

  • Interesting to talk to

  • Loyal



Cohabitation
Cohabitation

  • Many think

    • Common sense

    • Trains people for marriage

  • Studies have shown that it does not improve chances of finding a compatible mate

  • Communication no cohabitation is a key way to discover whether you are ready for marriage



On loose leaf
On Loose-Leaf about before marriage

  • What advice would you give to the couple?

  • Which of the things to communicate about before marriage applies?

  • Why do you think it is important or not important to talk about this?

  • Put the number for the scenario on your paper.


Happy marriages start with
Happy Marriages Start with… about before marriage

  • Having good self image

  • Good communication skills

  • Wanting to “be” married not just “get” married


10 steps to a happy marriage
10 Steps to a Happy Marriage about before marriage

  • Strong commitment to the married lifestyle and fidelity

  • Good problem solving skills: there will be problems

  • Mutual trust, respect and honesty

  • Having fun together, really enjoying each other


10 steps continued
10 Steps Continued about before marriage

  • Sharing similar backgrounds: social, economic, religious, values, ethnicity?

  • Sharing a belief in the meaning of life and the value of life

  • Respecting each other as individuals with their own space, but shared activities show both interests


10 steps continued1
10 Steps Continued about before marriage

  • Sharing a love of children, but their love for each other was the reason to stay together not the children only

  • Appreciating each other. High level of forgiveness and acceptance

  • Not living in the past, stop blaming others, don’t focus on past grievances.


Romantic notions unrealistic expectations
Romantic Notions: Unrealistic expectations about before marriage

  • Being “in love” is sufficient reason to marry.

  • Looking for Mr. Perfect

  • “We’ll work that out when married” or “He’ll change.”

  • I know the right person when I “feel” it.

  • Choosing should be easy. It is fate or destiny

  • “We’ll live happily ever after”


Why do people marry
Why do people marry? about before marriage


Sharing life with a loving companion
Sharing Life with a Loving Companion about before marriage

  • Deep friendship for life


Creating new life
Creating New Life about before marriage

  • Most obvious way is through children

  • Participate in creation with God, the source of all human life


Strengthening individual identities
Strengthening Individual Identities about before marriage

  • Strengthens, does not merge or repress

  • Nourish each others particular gifts

  • Strengthens roots of identity


Calling forth the best in each person
Calling forth the Best in Each Person about before marriage

  • Can put aside masks and honestly be themselves

  • Reveling this true self is liberating

  • The give-and-take of marriage constantly calls forth gifts and personality traits that renew the partners

  • Through their relationship they discover they best and truest selves


Enabling a couple to reach out
Enabling a Couple to Reach Out about before marriage

  • Freed by their love to reach out to others

  • “Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery


Supporting the journey of faith
Supporting the Journey of Faith about before marriage

  • Means of support for their journey in faith

  • Journey in faith cannot be traveled alone

  • Supported and nurtured by community

  • Ritual of the sacrament of marriage is intended to be a community celebration, not a private event


Marriage as a covenant of love
Marriage as a Covenant of Love about before marriage

  • Mirrors the covenant between God and God’s people

  • What is a covenant?

    • Deeply personal, solemn promise made between persons

    • Pledge of faithful love

    • Requires maturity, realism, and preparation

  • How is this possible?

    • God’s grace given in the sacrament


Covenant vs contract
Covenant vs. Contract about before marriage


Covenant vs contract1
Covenant vs. Contract about before marriage


A symbol of god s faithful love
A Symbol of God’s Faithful Love about before marriage

  • God’s faithful love for people

  • Two persons freely give their love to each other “in good times and in bad”

  • Symbolizes the love of Christ for the church

  • The God who is love is made visible in the love of the couple

  • The sacrament of marriage is living out life together


What god has joined together
“What God has Joined Together..” about before marriage

  • Permanence of marriage

    • “the two shall become one flesh”

    • Necessary for the good of society

    • When marriages end society suffers from instability

    • Broken marriages cause emotional, financial, spiritual and interpersonal pain


Taking vows offering own integrity
Taking Vows: Offering Own Integrity about before marriage

  • Marriage vows are the formal way that the couple make their covenant to each other

  • Solemn promise

  • We commit our entire being to it

  • We offer our own integrity


The validity of the vows
The Validity of the Vows about before marriage

  • Must be given freely and knowledgeably in order to be valid, or true or binding

  • Freedom from pressures

    • Many pressures can weaken a person’s ability to consent freely to marriage, thus making the vows invalid

  • Knowledge and willingness

    • Must know what marriage promises mean

    • Must know about the other person too


If vows are not taken freely and knowledgeably
If vows are not taken freely and knowledgeably… about before marriage

  • Annulment: marriage vows were invalid from the beginning

  • Says marriage was never a valid sacrament

  • At the time of the wedding sacrament one or both persons were not able to make a valid vow


Different from
Different from… about before marriage

  • Divorce: dissolves the legal contract of marriage


Engagement
Engagement about before marriage

  • Beginning a relationship of mutual commitment

  • Implies involvement or activity

  • Trust needs to be deepened

  • Mutual self-disclosure

  • Should last for months

  • Time of trial


Marriage preparation
Marriage Preparation about before marriage

  • Intended to help a couple get ready for the serious and deep commitment of marriage

  • To realize marriage is a sacrament in union with the whole church

  • Designed to assist couples in fulfilling their mutual commitment

  • Often involves courses and meeting with a counselor


The wedding celebration
The Wedding Celebration about before marriage

  • Joyful celebrations

  • Anticipates with hope a love that will endure the test of time

  • Shows love of couple as well as God’s love to community

  • Community serves as witness

  • Highlights the public commitment of the couple


The rite of marriage
The Rite of Marriage about before marriage

  • Usually takes place within the Mass

  • Following Liturgy of the Word

  • 3 Questions the Priest asks

    • Have you come here freely?

    • Will you love and honor each other everyday for the rest of your lives?

    • Will you accept children lovingly from God?


Vows about before marriage

  • I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness and health, I will love and honor you all the days of my life.

  • Tells all who are present that these two persons have a goal of permanent commitment to foster each other’s good and thus the good of society as a whole.

  • Time of hope and optimism for all

  • Helps couple to realize the support of the community