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<br>Ellen is a high-performer, but she doesnu2019t always see herself that way.<br><br>On a good day, she knows in her bones that she can be the professional she wants to be.<br><br>On a bad day, she identifies with every ADHD symptom she dislikes. Itu2019s as if she IS the symptom. Sheu2019ll say, u2018u2018It leaked through.u201d The mask dropped and the ADHD showed.<br><br>The twin behaviours of adult ADHD u2013 distractibility and reactivity u2013 undermine her best efforts. When they threaten to show up, she wants with all her might to cover them up. Theyu2019re the opposite of how she wants to show herself to the world. Sheu2019ll say, u201cI donu2019t ever want to experience that again!u201d<br><br>Hiding these symptoms has literally been the fight of her life.<br><br>When Ellen talks about her struggle, you can hear the pain in her voice. Thereu2019s an intensity, a repudiation of behaviours she doesnu2019t respect or approve of.<br><br>Over the years, this fight has solidified into a self-concept that says her wins were only in spite of herself, not because of herself u2013 her talents, innate intelligence and drive.<br><br>Have you been in a fight with your own ADHD symptoms?<br>Have you been trying to hide them?<br><br>Ellenu2019s life-long default pattern was to take action u2013 any action u2013 to cover up what was going on inside of her. This u2018faux productivityu2019 was exhausting her. Even worse, it was blocking her from seeing how chaotic and unproductive she actually was.<br><br>Today, as she wrestled with this pattern of u2018againstnessu2019, she asked me, u201cud835udc08ud835udc1f ud835udc1fud835udc22ud835udc20ud835udc21ud835udc2dud835udc22ud835udc27ud835udc20 ud835udc22ud835udc2cud835udc27u2019ud835udc2d ud835udc30ud835udc28ud835udc2bud835udc24ud835udc22ud835udc27ud835udc20, ud835udc30ud835udc21ud835udc1aud835udc2d ud835udc30ud835udc22ud835udc25ud835udc25?u201d<br><br>She decided she was ready to do something radically different.<br><br>Become who you were always meant to be.<br><br>Letu2019s take the first step together.<br>Radical Acceptance<br>The opposite of fighting oneu2019s experience is to accept it all u2013 radically. Only then can we make the changes we yearn for.<br><br>But for Ellen, the idea of radically accepting ADHD in her life felt counter-intuitive. She thought sheu2019d have to give up her dream of reaching the heights of her profession. She thought radical acceptance would mean letting herself off the hook.<br><br>Ellen asked me, u201cHow will I balance my self-concept with my career? Does this mean I have to accommodate, delegate, make excuses for myself?u201d<br><br>Do you hear the assumptions inside her questions? They reveal an underlying belief that sheu2019s not enough as she is.<br><br>This isnu2019t surprising. By always comparing herself to neurotypical professionals, she was setting herself up to appear u2018less thanu2019. There was no way she could win!<br><br>I invited her to slow it all down.<br><br>I asked her, u201cWhat if all you had to do was to accept u2013 everything? As it is?u201d<br><br>Ellenu2019s shoulders visibly relaxed. Her face softened.<br><br>Instead of fighting her reality, she allowed herself to BE with her experience. She accepted all of it as it was u2013 just for that moment. And in that moment, there was nothing u2018to dou2019.<br><br>As she allowed herself to do the opposite of what she had been habituated to doing, she discovered that the chronic aversion sheu2019d been experiencing seemed to melt away.<br><br><br>environment Earth Day In the hands of trees growing seedlings. Bokeh green Background Female hand holding tree on nature field grass Forest conservation concept<br>In that moment, Ellen experienced an expansion of possibility, freedom from judgment and reactivity.<br><br>She discovered that in this place, she could access her inner resources. She was able to choose the most strategic actions.<br><br>Acceptance is just a way of being in a given moment.<br><br>Try it on<br>If you feel ready to explore Radical Acceptance in your life, ask yourself:<br><br>Who would I be if I knew that the ADHD was just a part of my experience?<br><br>What part of me already knows this is true?<br><br>What choices would I make if I knew I was already wise u2014 in my deepest self?<br><br>With love and gratitude,<br>Lynda<br>
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ADHD and Radical Acceptance:Ellen’s Discovery
Ellen is a high- performer, but she doesn’t always see herself that way. On a good day, she knows in her bones that she can be the professional she wants to be. On a bad day, she identifies with every ADHD symptom she dislikes. It’s as if she IS the symptom. She’ll say, ‘‘It leaked through.” The mask dropped and the ADHD showed. The twin behaviours of adult ADHD – distractibility and reactivity – undermine her best efforts. When they threaten to show up, she wants with all her might to cover them
